Controlled Crying

Poppy9

I remember watching a video when expecting about babies and not breaking their spirit. I think it was by Esther Rantzen's husband.

I only know of one friend who tried the controlled crying to get her DD to sleep at night. It worked for her eventually but I know I couldn't have listened to 60 minutes of wailing each evening:eek:

giggs11

Dora_the_Explorer wrote:

Has anyone come across adults who are clearly 'ruined' because someone paid attention to them every time they cried as babies?

no but i've met plenty who were ruined/damaged for being ignored and left to cry as babies.

cookiesncream

Can you actually provide evidence for this statement?

katie_jane_2

I never used controlled crying i did buy contented little baby book but the regimented attitude put me off. my eldest two (5 and 2) both now go to bed at 6:30 pm sleep through and are generally well behaved confident kids.my youngest 6 months is still finding his own routine up twice some nights not at all others but he will get there and until then im at his side when he wakes up and if he wants a bottle or a cuddle he will get one.I dont judge anyone else who is happy with cc its just not for us.

woohoo

Hi,
I agree the 'contented baby book' is regimented, but I have used some of the principles and adapted it to fit our family I suppose. We use the bits that work for us. Gina Ford advocates routine and stresses that if you follow certain principles (more common sense really) you won't ever need controlled crying. However, it is there as a last resort only.
I have never met anyone who has been 'damaged/ruined' from controlled crying - (how would you know if you had!!??) (which is not ignoring your child when they cry at all times, but rather lengthening intervals of tending to them to allow them to learn to settle themselves). I would too be interested in how you would support that statement! Ignoring a child at all times (commonly known as child abuse or neglect!) is a different matter and not one we are discussing here I think.

katie_jane_2

i dont really see how cc is practical at night when you have other kids.does it not wake them up?

getcarter

I was in a stupour with my DS 2, he was waking up up to 13 times a night and wanting to be nursed back to sleep, I was in such a state that someone acturally had to tell me this wasn't right! You are only leaving them for 30 sec at first then going in to soothe them (stroking them or something) I had to use a stop watch just to get my head around it otherwise I wouldn't have been able to bear it. Anyway worked after about a week.

Baby that sleeps through and can settle himself to sleep = mummy able to cope with everything else.

PS my DS1 never woke up with DS2 crying (he was about 2)

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dora the Explorer
Has anyone come across adults who are clearly 'ruined' because someone paid attention to them every time they cried as babies?



no but i've met plenty who were ruined/damaged for being ignored and left to cry as babies.

The primate experiments of HF Harlow are an interesing read for anyone who's interested in maternal deprivation. There is also an excellent study on maternal depivation and infants and children in hospital, can't remember who did it, which changed NHS policy.

cookiesncream

Dora_the_Explorer wrote:

The primate experiments of HF Harlow are an interesing read for anyone who's interested in maternal deprivation. There is also an excellent study on maternal depivation and infants and children in hospital, can't remember who did it, which changed NHS policy.

As with everything, there are always studies to back up either way. This thread is filled with parents who loved it and parents who find it's not for them. Either way, what tactics are used do depend on the baby and the parents.

Thank you for sharing experiences everyone and not turning this thread into an over-opinionated mess It's difficult not to with such an emotive subject.

rainbowrisin

cookiesncream wrote:

As with everything, there are always studies to back up either way. This thread is filled with parents who loved it and parents who find it's not for them. Either way, what tactics are used do depend on the baby and the parents.

Thank you for sharing experiences everyone and not turning this thread into an over-opinionated mess It's difficult not to with such an emotive subject.

Are you an advocate of controlled crying then? I just wondered because noticed you thanked everyone who posted a pro-controlled crying response. I also noted (I think i'm right) that you're a nanny specialising in under 2s? Is controlled crying something nannies tend to advocate?