Further financial faux pas and even more disasterous decisions

MrsMoo2U

Morning Moo. I havent read for a while so just caught up on the last week this morning. What a roller coaster. There is nothing that I can say that others havent said. I would agree though that you need to stop avoiding the confrontations because reading in one go this morning it appears to me that this is what is making your OH sit up and take notice. Glad things are improving and I hope that there are no relapses. You do need to look after yourself and stop worrying about what if for him because as somebody pointed out He is his own responsibility. All you can do is support him not carry him.

elantan

am still reading moo and loving the fun that you all sem to be having ...

moo2moo

It was gloriously sunny yesterday so we packed up and headed out to the shooting ground. Arrived there, unloaded the car, headed up the steep hill and promptly got drenched as the heavens opened. Bah. Forked out £60 in fees which were due in January but since we haven't been in quite some time we hadn't paid. DD2 had an ace time, DD1 had a pretty good time but wasn't feeoling too great so we left early. She was asleep in the car on the way home and slept all afternoon. Am forseeing a request for today off school.

Had another long chat with OH. I'm snapping at him for allsorts of things. Hes finding it v. hard to cope with me permanently being on the defensive. Can't explain why I am but I've run out of patience with him. Still hes been clap cold sober for an entire week so hes still making the effort despite me being a complete !!!!! to him and over the stupidest things too. Obviously the neighbours being out is the best time to take a tree out by dropping it into their garden but to do this and hammer stakes in the ground when they've most definately said no just doesn't seem right to me, even if it is a complete pain in the bum. He doesn't see an issue with it. Although if it were happening in the reverse and he came home to find someone had dropped a tree into our garden he'd have a major hissy fit. But for whatever reason he can't see it from their point of view. No doubt I'll come home from work to find hes done it anyway.

Plans for today involve much housework, lots of laundry and hopefully a long walk with the hound from hell now shes most definately out of season. Will also take the old dear for a slow ramble. Need to post a book I've sold on Amazon and then whip up some sort of cakes for the DDs lunch boxes, should really have done that yesterday so will need to improvise today.

moo2moo

Ended up at B&Q instead. £35 later we left with two bags of cement so that OH can continue doing whatever he has planned in the garden. Garedn waste bins depart today meaning I can continue clearing up after last months tree masacre. The trunk is still intact after the neighbours arrived home earlier than anticipated.

Doubt I'll get much done today as I'm road safteying all afternoon. Managed to get a bit carried away last night and did two hours on the Wii Fit whilst the DDs were in bed and OH out. I now ache all over. Think it was the half hour of snowboarding that finally finished me off. My stomach muscles are most definately less sloppy than they were though.

Have an invite to a friends for coffee this morning. Shes had a clear out and has loads of jam jars to rehome which is fab timing since the rhubarb is almost big enough to pick and the vanilla pods arrived earlier in the week. Have also been debating trying dandelion jam although the idea of picking and depetaling 400 or so dandelions is just a little offputting. Am most tempted to see if I can do more foragin this year on the basis that its both fun and it reduces the supermarket spends which are currently increasing thanks to OH getting through a bottle of "proper" coke a day. Can't see the dentist being overly impressed. Still at least a toothless cheerful OH is a vast improvement on a grumpy argumentative one with all own teeth.

SamanthaA

moo2moo wrote: »

Had another long chat with OH. I'm snapping at him for allsorts of things. Hes finding it v. hard to cope with me permanently being on the defensive. Can't explain why I am but I've run out of patience with him. Still hes been clap cold sober for an entire week so hes still making the effort despite me being a complete !!!!! to him and over the stupidest things too.

Have lurked with this & previous diary, but not having anything constructive to say, I kept quiet. But reading & re reading this I was wondering if....

You are snappy with OH, because he has tried so many times and has failed (for whatever reason) & you are expecting him to fail again.
You are snapping because a) you "know" it wont last; b) your preparing yourself for a return to "hostilities"; c) you are scared he will dissapoint you and you will be forced to make an unpleasent decision.

Hope this isn`t too obvious and maybe casts a light over your emotions.

elantan

For me ( and i can only talk for me ) i was surviving in what i call flight mode ... It took me a while to understand having a sober husband is different from having a drunk one .... And everytime he had a drink i would go through a whole load of woulds coulds shoulds wills and wonts .... It got to be totally exhausting and very destructive for our relationship

Good luck with it all

chevalier

I think since i have been reading your diary a week sober has got to be the longest he has gone. That is to be applauded. But it is not surprising that you are snippy. I would be too because you must be just waiting for it all to go t its ups again.

Long may the sobriety continue, but I hope that one day you will be able to relax....
chev

moo2moo

Morning all!

Guess I'm being a complete !!!!! so that he doesn't have things easy and because life ain't a bed of roses so if he can handle me being grouchy he can handle work being shoite and all manner of other things too. Warped logic but I'll take what I can get.

OH has still not had a drink, much to my amazement, although hes really finding it tough going right now and asked me to buy vino as soon as I got home because he was feeling really carp. Obviously I ignored this and it wasn't mentioned again. Hes been back to see the Jeremy Kylers but left them neding a drink just to blank out the whinging moaning negativity and utter hopelessness that they spout. Clearly thats not quite the reaction I was hoping for. Think hes going to give them one more visit just to make sure but they're not really helping things other than pointing out what a !!!!!! he can be without realising it. That in itself is a huge bonus.

We're now talking more and shouting less which is major progress. I'm sleeping far better than I have in ages which is making my outlook on life much more cheery although I still fell asleep on the sofa at 9:30 last night despite my best efforts to stay awake to watch the film. Admittedly I was enjoying snuggling up with OH rather than occupying opposite ends of the sofa a little too much to give in and go to bed.

Didn't do very much at all yesterday. My calf muscles felt like they were on fire for most of the day. Did vaguely consider another spot of Wii Fitting but decided against it. Am rather glad of that now.

Plans for today involve much freezer shuffling. In 48 hours I have to cram half a pig in there but doubt I can wedge another loaf of bread in at the mo. Will have to do much creative packing and pull out the largest items for tonights dinner. Also need to do a spot of ironing after washing the martial arts stuff last weekend. Wheelie bins are empty ready for the next attack on the garden. Still need to plant the spuds and then start on the seeds before its too late for this year. Could also do with cleaning the bathroom. Not entirely sure what the DDs have been doing in there but theres toothpaste drool everywhere almost like one of them laughed with a gob full.

Am commencing the 7 day countdown to Grannys flying visit. May well be attempting to achieve a weeks worth of level 3 Flyladying when OH returns to work tomorrow.

Have been v. organised and paid all the credit card bills plus booked both cars in for servicing and cleared all the paperwork thats due in the near future. Even got carried away and filed everything which liberated a fair amount of cupboard space. Need to tackle the drawer we bung the reciepts in since thats reached the point that they cascade down the back and appear at random in other drawers. Suppose that should fill a couple of hours.

prudencekitten

Excuse me for presuming to post on your thread, having lurked for ages. I am totally in awe of the way you manage your job and your life and the fact that you still have time to read books!! What to me is cheering is that you welcome the return of the trouser snake and say that you enjoyed an evening of cuddles on the couch. The spark is very definitely still there and to me that's vital if the marriage is to continue. It's when you have to deal with all the !!!!!! and you hate any physical contact that it's time to move on, but I think you two will be fine as long as the cork stays in the bottle! Of course this may mean a life of sobriety for you too, but it would be worth it, wouldn't it?

elantan

hey moo am loving this new enjoyment of life your having ... i think prudence puts it very well also ... you two still have the spark there ... that's gotta be worth something

all the best ... stick with it ... and yep that's the reasons the jeremy kylers were no good for us as well ... do they have alcohol counselling service where you are? that made a whole difference for my hubby ... also his work paid for us to go to marriage guidence counselling ... those two services combined have made all the difference in the world .... hubby and i are back to being a couple rather than strangers ... we both seem to like it that way