Further financial faux pas and even more disasterous decisions

Eager_Elephant

Oh Moo ((( )))

Hope you can get things sorted with OH even if it means leaving.

No advice from me as you know that my DH can be a right !!!!!! most of the time!

EE

beanielou

Oh dear.
That sounds very stark.
A long time coming though.

Trying_to_be_good

Thinking of you (((hugs)))

moo2moo

I guess the number of typos in my previous post goes to show just how angry I was. Words were flying faster than my fingers could keep up.

Yesterday was a very strange day. It started with a deadly silence as OH waited to be told what had gone on the previous night. It progressed to tears as he had no recollection at all what I was going on about and it ended, most bizarely, at an AA meeting.

Apparently OH hasn't previously been to any meetings because he couldn't face walking through the door as a failure into a roomful of brown paper bag clutching 60 year old smelly unshaven drunks, not that he was expecting many people to be there. After all its not something that people publicise. So walking into a room crammed full of good looking articulate people of a vast spectrum of ages came as a bit of a shock as did the vast array of new cars in a carpark in one of the most deprived neighbourhoods. He didn't expect there to be anyone like him there either.

The experience from that point on was a bit surreal. It was almost like being on the Jeremy Kyle Show but without the man of many catchphrases and the b!tch slapping. For all the walls were plastered with bible quotes and the AA system implies replacing booze with god is the answer there were very few references to religion at all. Some of it was stereotypically funny in that everytime someone opened their mouth the first words out were "Hello I'm *** and I'm an alcoholic" to which the entire room chirped back with "Hello ***". Did find it hard not to giggle.

Most of the people who chose to speak out said some scary stuff. Mostly scary because the things they were describing had either happened to us or were happening to us or aren't too far in to the future the way things are going. It was most definately a wake up call for me.

Not entirely sure what OH made of it. Figured this is one of the few times I need to keep my mouth firmly shut and let him think his way through it on his own.

Had to leave before they'd finished and was rather amazed when someone crossed the room to follow us into the carpark, thank us for coming and invite us back again the following week even taking the time to point out that although only the meeting we'd gone to was open to friends and family if whoever needed help needed support to go back again then we'd both be welcomed and included for as long as it took. Hopefully that little act of a complete stranger telling OH he was worth something will be enough to make him go back again. Hell I'd go back again just for the cake.

Obviously theres now tons going round in my head which is making sleeping rather difficult. From this point on in the short term theres nothing more I can do besides be there for OH assuming he does something about it. If not I've run out of options and the only thing left for the DDs and I is to move on, without him. Only time will tell which way things will go.

Am actually feeling rather relieved that I've reached this point. Clearly theres no point telling OH this because forcing him to go to AA for the wrong reasons would be a complete waste of time. Hopefully hes seen enough from last nights meeting to realise that he has to want this for himself in order to stand any chance at all.

mooomin

Oh crikey Moo, what a week you're having.

*hugs*

Hopefully this will be the start of OH's recovery. You know it's only a stupidly long train trip to Scotland if you need to get away for the weekend

I'm sure I speak for a lot of folk here when I say that we're thinking about you. Xxx

Trying_to_be_good

Wow. I know AA can work if he really wants it to, my Mum and her OH have now been married 25 years, he's been recovering for 9 of those.

Lots and lots and lots of positive vibes on their way to you all.

DedicatedDFW

Hi Moo,

Didn't want to just read and run, thinking of you ((hugs)).

Wordsmith

Scary times. You are so right to now leave your OH to think things through, but the waiting to find out what he thinks of it all must be agonising ... and I guess may take some time. Will you go back to the meetings/ring someone from AA for your own sake, even if it is not with your OH? He will most definitely need your support if this is the road he takes, but don't underestimate or not seek the support that you will need too. I'm sure there are lots of people on these boards who can give you practical advice, but I will certainly be offering moral support for you. It's tough on you all, but I hope that it is the beginning of the recovery for your family.

chevalier

Oh help what a week. Mega hugs to you and the family. What a lot of preconceptions your OH had about the AA meeting. At least now he has been to one, he can't build up a false image of it.

I will you strength to what is best for you and your DD
chev

makeup

Wow, Moo, what an intense week so far. Big hugs to you. Not sure what will happen but hope that you get what you want and need.

Take care xx