Further financial faux pas and even more disasterous decisions

MrsMoo2U

Frozen poo on my list of to do's today. Your description just made me howl and will make the job easier as I imagine a game of croquet going on. I may,however imagine that each one is next door neighbours head! Better still I could pretend he is the net and the poo is a ball about to be hit into it. More like polo than croquet that I think.

Wordsmith

Oooh, another one on poo. Me, Miss, Me! :j
Put the edge of a small shovel under one end of the poo and lean down on handle to lever it up. Much less effort involved. But don’t press down too hard as frozen poo in the middle of the forehead could cause some damage. (And I know this how?) Alternatively, to keep warm, you could turn this into a game of dodge the turd and have lots of fun as well.
HTH.

MatyMoo

flying_fresian wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

This is the greatest thing I have read all week

Seconded :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Moo, you really do have a way with words. I sooo wish you could write for magazines or newspapers

brizzledfw

Thirded.. Or is that turded?!! Tee hee...I love your diary Moo..

We have banned the buying of pressies for/ between me, OH, sis and BIL..working out much less stressy ( and MSE!) that way...won't work with kids though I agree

moo2moo

Merely by opening my eyes I appear to have started the day in OHs bad books. Not because I opened my eyes through choice but because the random screachings of the four legged fiends name outside the house twice in relatively quick succession meant that OH had left the door open. Twice. And both times the four legged fiend had done a runner. Obviously my fault for inadequately training the hound. OH left in a truely awful mood. On the bright side the hound is predictable and by walking 200m in socks I was able to retrieve her without fuss and return her to the house. OH was both most peed off and v. late for work. Will he remember to shut her in the house next time? Don't be daft.

Am now wide awake with v. cold feet.

Got home at 8:30 last night from the worlds longest school carol concert ever. Quite why its called a carol concert is beyond me, there was more sermonising and psalm reading than there were carols. Still tis over till next year. Just two more performances of the infant nativity to go which is far more entertaining since Mary is off sick and they're managing without her.

chevalier

your OH's inability to see his own faults is stunning

moo2moo

Mmm but pointing this out to him as the only person awake at that ungodly hour would result in the everythings always my fault, nothings ever your fault rant. Lifes too short to go through that again.

Meanwhile OH has given the DDs two PC games and two pairs of ski socks to wrap as gifts from them to him. They are confused as hell by this. A rather bemused DD1 told him that she had already bought him a surprise from her own pocket money.

I know the season of goodwill to all men is rapidly approaching but I fear my good will has gone walk about and my inner b!tch has been unleashed.

In other exciting news it has been decreed that the muchly anticipated Call of Duty is not as good as anticipated. Perhaps this is because OH has already completed it on the normal level despite only having had it up and running for three days. Admittedly most of his waking hours have been spent playing it but that doesn't seem to factor into things.

Whinge whinge moan moan.

In more exciting news I was seconded for the morning by the most beautiful 13th century church to clear up after last nights carol concert. Wandered round reading the inscriptions and admiring the carvings and stained glass as I hoovered. Got to venture into all the places the general public aren't normally allowed to go. Was a most pleasant way to spend a morning. Volunteered to sweep the steps leading up to the bell tower because it has the most fabulous views but sadly this wasn't required. Probably just as well really because I'm not entirely convinced I'm fit enough to clamber up all those steps.

moo2moo

Have had a v. productive morning. Masacred another chunk of hedge filling two wheelie bins with clippings and lopping several feet off the overall width. Next door are going to have a major dicky fit when they realise since our hedge and their hedge now connect at a rather januty angle. At least theres no chance of our hedge toppling over under its own weight anymore.

Have also cleaned out all three fires, mopped the kitchen floor, sorted laundry, pottered about rehoming random stray objects and cleaned the mud off the front of both freezers and a radiator. Even managed to squeeze in lunch. Now feeling considerably more positive about things. Of course house is still a tip but a marginally cleaner tip than it was earlier today. Beginning to wish I'd lit the fires though because now I've stopped its chuffing freezing. Makes me want to wash up again just to warm my hands up.

moo2moo

Ugh. have had no sleep. Kids are full of snot. DD2 has barked non-stop all night and DD1 has appeared at random to inform me her bed is full of used tissues and she can't find any clean ones. Why oh why can't the child chuck the used ones on the floor like any normal child would do?

Obviously today is the most manic day of the entire year. My day starts with the annual chair dance. 180 chairs out of the cupboard and neatly arranged in the hall by 8:30 at which point the doorbell will ring non-stop as parents fight to get the best seats in the house only to find that teachers have already covered them in reserved signs for friends and relatives. By 10:30 I then get to clear all the chairs away and take a party of helpers across the cemetery to retrieve tressle tables in order to transform the hall into a palatial restaurant. Simultaneously I also need to cram an extra 15 tables into our already table stuffed dining hall which means persuading a teacher that they don't actually need tables or indeed chairs to teach for the majority of the morning.

Thats the easy bit over and done with.

After that I'm assisting in the kitchen as pot scrubber whilst the entire school is served Christmas dinner which will be v. interesting as we have more diners than plates or cutlery. Have been issued with my obligatory glitter caked silly hat by the v. kind people in early years who seem to have added every dangly accessory they could find onto it.

After dinner is served and chowed in record time we get to clear away, return everything from whence it came and then scoff our dinner whilst remembering that I need to be sober enough to function in the afternoon and get home without being arrested at some point in the evening. Also need to transform the dining hall into a dojo for the martial arts class and then return it to its usual state of disarray first thing friday as well as getting the hall chairs back out for another nativity performance.

At some point I have to fit in a trip home to let the hairballs out before their bladders explode.

I'm sure it will be knackeringly exhausting but v. satisfying fun. The likelihood of me achieving anything else at all today is just a tad remote although I have purchased my final non-immediate family x-mas gift from Amazon for delivery at the end of next week. Still no ideas for OH but I'm sure inspiration will hit at some point. Just hope it gets a move on. Meanwhile have had a text from OHs bro asking what the demonic daughters would like. Sadly my crystal ball is no longer functioning as I haven't got a Scooby Doo.

pennywisepoundstupid

I'm kn&ck£rd just reading that moo.