Nice people thread 2 - now even nicer

SingleSue

You explained that brilliantly actually!

I'm sure that is pretty much what happens with youngest..and that is once he gets over talking to someone he may not be familiar with (it takes on average, 6-10 months for him to get used to new staff). An unfamiliar member of staff and the question won't be asked in the first place because they are not 'safe' people.

carolt

Interesting insights, Sue and PN. In some ways, less 'different' from the rest of us than might sometimes be portrayed. I was an abominably shy child and can really identify with the 'being too scared to ask' part; my DS is terribly shy too - he nearly wasn't in his class assembly today, because 'he was worried that all the mummies and daddies would be looking at him'.

We had a big chat and he was in it and joined in too - mercifully not one of the (very few) children given a line to say. I was very proud of him, and I think he was proud too.

I grew out of my shyness and hope my DS will too.

Any chance of your DS growing out of it, Sue?

PasturesNew

carolt wrote: »

Any chance of your DS growing out of it, Sue?

If it's ASD, you don't grow out of it. It's for life.

SingleSue

Afraid not Carolt...as he has got older, his problems have become more apparent rather than less apparent.

John_Pierpoint

At one stage in my "career", I was redundant (again!) so I got a job as a private hire driver (sort of unlicensed minicab driver).
The money was rubbish, equivalent to making in a day what "Job seekers" paid per week but at least one was mobile and had a smartish car for any interviews.
One regular job involved picking up an escort and 5 children on the autistic spectrum and taking them to a special school in a minibus.
So they got the same escort every day but most days got a different driver. Us drivers had no insight into the 10 - 11 year old childrens' conditions. The general attitude, back at the depot, was that these kids had missed out, on a good punch in the ear, some where in their lives. Not an attitude I would endorse; however as a father of two handicapped children, I have witnessed over protective mothers not doing their handicapped children any favours by over protecting them and pandering to their every need. The problem being that the outside world is a tough place that is not sympathetic to minorities and mummy is not going to be around for ever to protect her cubs.

One of the biggest problems is the behaviour of the other children - they can be complete little barstewards - dealing with this situation is a challenge for all children and is known as "having your corners rubbed off". As a male I can remember realising that you had to give as good as you got and for girls it is probably worse because the bullying is more subtle and there is less of the culture of Omertà ( not sneaking).

I particularly remember one girl who was universally judged as "spoilt" by her parents and older siblings. She was over weight and as fat creates oestrogen, prematurely "developed". Snide remarks, coupled with a bit of pinching and poking, could goad her to lash out and probably then dissolve into tears. (One could have explained to a child who did not take things literally, the way to handle this situation would be to agree with your tormentors and then over act a caricature of your self. Before long your tormentors would be laughing with you not at you).
As it was we had to arrive at a modus operandi, where I sat her in the front seat ("Why does she get special treatment?"); so I drove the bus while distracting her by inventing today's repetitive topic and the escort tried to settle the rest of them in the back.

SingleSue

I have seen that too John, one thing I try not to do is pander to youngest, I try to challenge him with the challenges he will meet in day to day life when he is older and I am no longer around.

So I will take a slightly different route to school, all the time reassuring him it is all safe, I persevered with eating out, going shopping, going to family social events, even all day rock gigs! Yes, it can be stressful (for him and me!) but I want to get the message across to him that life changes, people change, noise levels can't always be at super quiet.

Unfortunately, I think we are all capable of a bit of pandering to our children, disability or no disability and I can be as guilty of it too, which is why I was so cautious of pandering this time...

Re escort, youngest never did cope in the escort bus...we ended up having to make alternative arrangements to get him there. There was no bullying, it was just too noisy, too close and the escort shouted and smacked (she was eventually sacked for hitting the children)..a sure fire way of completely stressing youngest out.

sss555s

Captains log.......... 23.24......

WOW the NPT is on page 3 :eek:


This is worse than a US senate looking for a BP scapegoat :eek:


Piece of virtual Dairy Milk on it's way to the next poster :money:


<code: sen :hello:>

carolt

sss555s wrote: »

Captains log.......... 23.24......

WOW the NPT is on page 3 :eek:


This is worse than a US senate looking for a BP scapegoat :eek:


Piece of virtual Dairy Milk on it's way to the next poster :money:


<code: sen :hello:>

Help!

Is this written in a foreign language?

I don't understand a word of it (except for the Dairy Milk, bit, obviously... ).

vivatifosi

Translation:

The nice people's thread had slipped its way down to page three of the forum. Terrible news! Worse news than the representation of BP by US politicians! Need to get it back on the front page and work as a team to keep it there with virtual chocolate as an incentive.

Hopefully that's earned my virtual Dairy Milk anyway.

carolt

I'm sure it has.

Thanks there, captain.


We shall have to endeavour not to let this happen again. :eek: