Nice people thread 2 - now even nicer

StevieJ

lemonjelly wrote: »

Everyone I work with (staff & students/potential students) are equally under the same perception that they should be given all sorts of stuff, but not have to pay for anything.

A common response (when told they have to pay something) is "I'm on benefits".

Someone didn't like it the other day when I tiold them that is what their benefits are for - to pay for stuff...

Not up on this but why are most of your students and staff on benefits?

lemonjelly

StevieJ wrote: »

Not up on this but why are most of your students and staff on benefits?

Most staff aren't, though a few will get tax credits.

A lot of students will be. We are near the former Longbridge site, so a lot of people laid off have been retraining with us.

We're also in the midlands - an area particularily badly hit by the downturn (& arguably still yet to recover from previous downturns).

Does that answer your query? Or a little more info?

SingleSue

What a perfectly horrendous day, today has turned out to be...

Youngest (and middle son) on Arts week at school, youngest not coping at all well and it culminated in a hospital trip, a complete break down stress out and the perfectly done strapping on his hand not being perfect anymore.

Maybe I should start at the beginning....

He is doing a forensic science pathway and was looking forward to it and would probably enjoy it if it wasn't completely out of routine. He doesn't know the plan of the day, he doesn't know who his helper will be (they forgot to give him one yesterday) and because of the complex nature of his autism, he will not vocalise his unsettlement to unfamiliar staff (of which they all pretty much are), so he also didn't know as he couldn't understand the instructions, what he was supposed to be doing.

So, we come to this morning and a day trip out to Africa Alive..it didn't start well, he was in mad panic, going to throw up mode as we arrived in the school car park at just before 8 this morning but he settled once he found out his TA is one he knows and gets on well with.

When I went to pick him up this afternoon, the first thing he says is that he has hurt his thumb, the second thing was that his dinner was forgotten, nothing too major but I could see from just the way he was standing that things were not particularly good with him. His thumb looked in a bad way and he was in a lot of pain, so up to the local hospital we go and it turns out he has hyperextended the joint..apparently he had a fall on some apparatus at the park and landed badly on his hand. No first aid had been given and not really taken seriously yet he had been in a lot of pain since before lunch and in tears!

Anyway, upshot was he was given a stiff bandage up at the hospital to prevent movement of the thumb and most of the hand , advised to rest it etc etc...get to my parents, one wrong word was said and that was it...complete and utter meltdown and for the first time ever, he was violent towards me, he tried to rip his bandage off and he was so off the scale stressed, it was heartbreaking.

I am going to have a major problem for the rest of the week, the mere mention of school sends him back to complete meltdown, he doesn't want to be there at all even though they are doing 'fun' things this week and with holiday fast approaching, this does not bode well and it could well be a bit of an eek first week to the holiday.

The school have been very good so far in dealing with his needs but it just feels like their eye has been taken off the ball this week as they know just how vitally important it is for youngest to know what he is doing and who with at all times for him to actually just about cope with going mainstream.

I just feel like blubbing like a baby....

carolt

Oh poor you, Sue. Hope it all calms down, for your son, for you and for your whole family. He's lucky to have such a great mum to help him and to try to check it all gets sorted out as he would like.

Try to look ahead to brighter spots; things like the holiday or something else you're all looking forward to. :grouphug:

Davesnave

He has a legit excuse to take the day off tomorrow Sue, if that would help calm him down. Could/would he take that choice himself?

When schools do these special weeks, things are usually a little hairy on the organisation front. Nobody's fault, just everything stretched to the max.

carolt

Yes, it's a bit of a manic week generally, last week of term, isn't it?

This week, my kids have:

a sports week
2 separate sports days followed by 2 separate picnics
a nursery assembly
a leavers' assembly
2 mums' nights out (chance to gossip)
a last-day get-together in the park with lunch

And I'm expected to attend all of them! Plus having a friend's child over after school, and my my MIL's 60th birthday. Not quite sure where I'm supposed to squeeze getting any work done in amongst all this.

That's after last week, where we had a school play (twice), a year 5 assembly, a piano exam, a full day in the park with nursery class, and a gala concert. And had a party for said MIL.

All a bit much...

silvercar

SingleSue, such a shame to end the school year on a bad note. I would be tempted to write off the rest of the week if it is so unsettling.

BTW, joyrides settle stomachs even if they aren't caused by travel sickness.

silvercar

In contrast to carolt's hectic end of term week, we "broke up" after youngest's last exam over a month ago. Apart from one final trip to school for the art exhibition (where he won the prize :j ) we haven't been back. Eldest arrived home on the day of the last exam (because I said better to wait for then as he is too much of a distraction from GCSEs) and since then its been chilling, visiting family and trips away for the kids.

carolt

Ooh, you are very lucky. I shall dream of it.

SingleSue

Thanks guys...

He has asked me if he can not go in for the last 2 days but it feels wrong not to send him, yes he has an injured hand but it doesn't make him incapable of attending.

My gut feeling is to keep him off as it is unsettling him so much but then is that me just backing down? Pandering to him?

I've just spent the last 40 minutes trying to stop him bashing his injured hand against the wall (he doesn't like the feel of the bandage) and he is still very overwrought but at least he has now stopped trying to hurt himself further.

Unfortunately, youngest being out of sorts is putting middle son out of sorts now (oh the joys of having two autistic kids), I felt like just walking out a few minutes ago after being called stupid and having a remote come winging past my ear. I wouldn't actually walk out, I just wanted to go outside and have a breather, count to 10 (ok maybe a million) and then come back to calming them again with a fresh outlook....but youngest is so eek, he won't let me out of his sight.

A Temporary calm has now descended as they have found something that has distracted them on television but I can't see me getting much sleep tonight.