Relationship advice

wobbly

I have spoken to the other half. When i asked if he was selling viagra he said yes he had in the past that then progressed to getting it from a mate at work and just selling it to this one friend. He was really quite flippant with it all saying "whatever" a few times and you ought to try it!!
I asked if he had cheated and he said no. I said i felt he was near to doing so and he turned it on to me saying he was doing all the work in this marriage! This i expected. Whenever we have argued in the past he always turns it around to me. He also said he felt " that we had come to the end of the road" I told him i did not trust him and he could not answer. So he is now back to the not talking stage. I am assuming he is going out tonight as he stood ironing going out clothes. (the only time he irons).

Money_maker

So sorry, wobbly. Maybe it's time to look at what you want out of life and you certainly deserve better.

mackemdave

Mend it or end it......

ailuro2

He sounds like he's good at manipulating the discussion so you are left no further forward, then he can call you a nag if you pursue the matter. Also not speaking to you is another way of avoiding letting you speak.

I think you know what you need to do, will he leave, or will you need to?
Be careful, he has been violent in the past, plenty of threads and stickies here on women's refuge.
If you need a bit of time to plan things then let someone you trust know what you're doing.;)
Good Luck!

*Louise*

Sorry to hear that.

With the 'you should try it' comment I assume he uses viagra himself? Did you know this?

Nice of him to make plans for a night out when you marriage is at a crisis point.....doesn't say love and respect to me.


'If' it were me I would ask OH to forego the night out so we could try and 'save' our marriage. If he still went, that would speak volumes for me...
.his stuff would be packed for him as well, but that's just me

wobbly

don't know if has used viagra. He has gone straight to the pub before i got home, just shows he does not care to me. I would not be surprised if he did not come home tonight.

*Louise*

Just to play devils advocate here...


...what will you do if he doesn't come home???

wobbly

well already told him its over. it will just confirm i am doing the right thing.i wont say anything as i really dont want my lads upset and a i am sure they are starting to feel it. I need to get advice on things like the house etc so hopefully i will know what i am doing moving or staying in the home.

dandy-candy

I'm wondering if because he has cheated before and u have stayed with him, if he feels u will just cool off and it will be ok again. I am very surprised that as a married couple he is going off to the pub on his own and not taking his wife with him? I think your boys are old enough to know the truth if things are rocky and u should consider sitting them down and talking to them about how the marriage is going. You may find they would be happier if you two split up too - kids are far more aware of what is going on than u think.

*Louise*

wobbly wrote: »

well already told him its over. it will just confirm i am doing the right thing.i wont say anything as i really dont want my lads upset and a i am sure they are starting to feel it. I need to get advice on things like the house etc so hopefully i will know what i am doing moving or staying in the home.

You sounds so calm and determined. :T

Make sure you are not the one to leave the home...you deserve to stay there and you have to keep a roof over your boys' heads. After all, you are trying to talk - he is just doing whatever he wants and thinks you will still be there waiting for him like the good little wife.