Children watching horror/ scary films!!

KDC

It's a difficult one. I love horror films, was brought up with Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and Boris Karlof films. It was a treat to see one in colour!! My ex husband was of the opinion that I was "sick" because I like horrors and reading horror books. I agree that it's not right that your ex should put on a scary film for your daughters, but there are alot of dads out there that just don't take anybody else into account - whether they be children or adults.

My sons (7 and 11yrs) go to their dad's each weekend. He lets the eldest pick football teams to place a bet and he bets on horses and football. Sat afternoon's they must not make a noise as he watches the horse racing so they play on the PS2 in their room until they argue and fight. He doesn't let them watch horror films, but they watch Rab C Nesbitt and other progs that are inappropriate for their age - at least for my 7yr old. He does nothing with them until the summer when he might take the eldest fishing, but 7yr old is too young and gets bored. They are my ex's words, not mine. Oh he also drinks lots of cans of beer too.

Don't bother telling a solicitor. I tried that one and unless the children are in danger of being abused a judge wont want them to stop seeing their dad. That's what my solicitor said anyway.

You can ask your ex in a calm way just to double check what type of film they watch and hope he responds favourably. I find that when I say something to my ex and it sounds aggressive it just gets his back up. I try to appeal to his better nature - even though I know that he doesn't have one!!

For when they go to sleep, tell them its only pretend and to think of something really nice when they close their eyes i.e playing on the beach, running around with their friends or even just reading a favourite book.

Us mum's can pacify them as much as we can when we get them back and hope that their dad will eventually see the light and change.

Good luck with them.

kindofagilr

Basically you need to let the girls know that its not real, once they totally understand its not real and dont let their imaginations run away with them they will be ok

Not saying its right he is showing them to the kids, but I htink your lack of liking horror is playing a big part in this as well

I do think if you liked horror you would be in a position to say to the girls that its made up etc etc, whereas if you show you dont like horrors and are "scared" of them I think they will pick up on it?

fernliebee

I think one thing no-one has mentioned yet, is the difference in horror films from when we were younger and horror films now. We don't know the actual film they saw, however films from our younger days were so much more mild than even standard horror nowadays. Even films that were deemed too violent for the public such as texas chainsaw massacre, and clockwork orange etc, when watched now you can see how bad the effects were, and they seem much less focussed on the extreme violence, as now film makers like to show off their new effects.

I do think this is relevant, as even telling a child it is pretend may not really help some children. Especially with the seamless editing and effects, in our day we could see sets wobbling or the blood looked fake etc. Nowadays it is very realistic so even though you are telling them it is fake, their little minds work overtime.

I didn't used to mind horror films, didn't love them, didn't hate them iyswim. Since having children however I find I don't like to watch them now, I find them unnecessarily gory and not enjoyable feeling tense the whole way through. It is the 'feeling' they create that I can't shake, not only the images. The music and everything is made to make you feel scared so even after it has finished you can still be left feeling uneasy, and this is what I don't like. I can't imagine this feeling is good for children, or helps them to sleep well, poor little things.

jamespir

k.o.d wrote: »

But you condone allowing him to play age restricted games?

no i dont i never siad i did is said hes watched somoen palying (iwasnt there )

k.o.d

jamespir wrote: »

no i dont i never siad i did is said hes watched somoen palying (iwasnt there )

And the difference between watching and playing is (from the visual aspect)?

Curious_George_2

k.o.d - how are you even managing to keep this going??
i didnt even understand his last 2 posts! lol

i think the above poster made a good point re- how different the films are these days...
i remember my mum saying the exorcist was the scariest thing she had even seen and it had made her sick with fright... i watched it for the first time a few years ago and was bored rigid (and very dissapointed)
I look along my dvd shelf and some of the films with an 18 rating wouldnt be anything like it if rated these days.... some of them should be at least dropped to a 15, and in some cases down to a 12!!

i think the whole point is... no matter what the material was the girls were watching - it made them uncomfortable and scared and has played on their minds ever since... so wether the film was a 'halloween nightmare on friday 13th' or 101 dalmations, they didnt like it.... they shouldnt have had to watch it.

k.o.d

I understood the content

Some of the films available now are pretty gory due to the fact that the realism of the special effects have improved in leaps and bounds, someone made the point it isn't real and they have to be told, but a lot of films now are prettyy damn real in the graphics, and you would be hard pressed in some to tell the difference.
The problem I have with all this is they are looking at it from an adult perspective and not even bothering to think how it will potentially affect the psyche of a young child, and to me that is selfish and cruel. Whether they think it doesn't affect them (and i watch plenty of horror films) thats fine, but a young child should not have to watch it just because the supposed adult thinks that it can be rationalised away by saying it isn't real.

newlysingle_2

I agree with the posters who state horror films are alot more extreme than in past years. I used to love horror films until I was pregnant with DD. OH loves them, but I have banned him watching them upstairs as they are even scarier whilst hiding under the duvet, my mind goes into overdrive imagining what is happening.

My DD is 6 going on 16, we don't look at the age restrictions on DVD's, we watch them first to see if they are suitable. She is a massive Harry Potter fan and will watch them over and over. She also loves the twilight films. Both of which are rated 12. At christmas she asked for the Pushing Daisies box set as we taped it ever week for her when it was on t.v. She has a sensible mind and she knows which films she can and can't watch. DS1 though is totally different, at 5 he loves Star Wars and Indiana Jones, but doesn't like Jurrasic Park, he gets really involved with films and cried when the plant died on Little shop of horrors!!

Both of my children understand that the films are not real, but they are both totally different. I would not let any of my children watch a 'recent' horror film.

On another note, my DD had a sleepover at my house last Friday night and came down stairs crying as someone at school had told her if you say a name 3 times in a mirror this person will come and kill you. Someone in her class had watched Candyman, and told them all about it :mad:, the girls couldn't sleep until half 3 as they were that scared!!!

mummy_Jay

newlysingle wrote: »

On another note, my DD had a sleepover at my house last Friday night and came down stairs crying as someone at school had told her if you say a name 3 times in a mirror this person will come and kill you. Someone in her class had watched Candyman, and told them all about it :mad:, the girls couldn't sleep until half 3 as they were that scared!!!

It might not have been Candyman as this same form of envoking was used in an episode of Ghost whisper the other week and resulted in 2 girls dying from fright. Still not really suitible viewing for a 6 yr old but I'd rather think it came from ghost whisper than some one let a 6 yr old watch Candyman.

newlysingle_2

Hi mummy-jay, I would have hoped that was the case, but it was actually Candyman that they were told to say.