Children watching horror/ scary films!!

Kandipandi

When you split from a marriage/partnership, there is very little that you can do about the way the other parent deals with your children.
Obviously unless there is a serious issue relating to their wellbeing or safety, if the other parent is not willing to listen to your concerns you will have to look at this as a casualty of the split.

Perhaps deal with it from your side, maybe when they go to their Father's send some of their own DVD's with them and explain to them that the type of things he lets them watch is upsetting them and causing problems and that perhaps they can request other things to watch.

Its one of the worst parts of seperating, you no longer have full control of you children's lives and your values are not always shared by your ex partner or if they take on a new girlfirend/wife, there is a whole other set of values that may differ to yours.
It is a real heartache to hand your small child over to an ex and imagine all the things that you will not be able to do for them, will they get enough attention/cuddles/kisses, will they be left to rot infront of the TV? I feel for you x

k.o.d

jamespir wrote: »

were not talking bout a small child we talking about an 8-9 year old and ive seen more gory thing's in tom an jerry than most of the games that are out

yes i agree that some children do take it to literaly some adults do to
but if you try to cover them away from things thyre never going to learn


i dont mean show them every night but once in a while isnt going to hurt them
we were shown some stuff (which now could be called horrific things) in school from the hollocaust to a women giving birth and that hasnt scarred us

Do you know something, for a grown man you talk absolute bollox, some of the games out there I would have trouble watching.
There is a difference between affecting their formative stages and allowing them to have nightmares as it works on the subconscious.
Did you read the OP about the tears and the nightmares? Is that acceptable? Will it 'toughen them up'?
Do you have kids? Do you let them watch 18 rated films and games?

bylromarha

I watched 18 cert horrors from around age 4

Nightmare on Elm Street, Alien, The Brood, hills have eyes are some of the memorable ones I remember watching in early 80s - mum used to hire them from the video man that came round evey week with his suitcase.

I don't let my kids watch them and don't intend to either, but if your kids have watched them at the hand of a parent who hasn't thought through the implications doesn't automatically mean a chainsaw wielding dream haunter that can only feel happy at the sight of gushing blood.

OP - a chat with your ex is really the only thing that you can do, I feel. Putting the emphasis on the effect on the kids rather than your own personal opinions will probably be more successful. Good luck.

k.o.d

bylromarha wrote: »

OP - a chat with your ex is really the only thing that you can do, I feel. Putting the emphasis on the effect on the kids rather than your own personal opinions will probably be more successful. Good luck.

Agree with that, he may not fully understand the implications, but setting boundaries seems neccessary

euronorris

k.o.d wrote: »

Agree with that, he may not fully understand the implications, but setting boundaries seems neccessary

I think you could be right here. If horror films have never bothered him, even as a child, he may have hard time understanding what the fuss is about.

But everyone is different, so perhaps try explaining it to him that way? ie., 'I know it doesn't/didn't bother you, but it really upset the girls....etc'.

My sister's girls are so different when it comes to fast rides. The eldest one wants to go on all of them (including those she's too small for) and always has done, whereas the younger one is terrified of them! We even had to coax her onto one of the really small roller coasters. You know, the ones that go round in a small loop and have about 2 or 3 small dips in them?! lol. Just like her Dad, and opposite of her Mum.

jamespir

k.o.d wrote: »

Do you know something, for a grown man you talk absolute bollox, some of the games out there I would have trouble watching.
There is a difference between affecting their formative stages and allowing them to have nightmares as it works on the subconscious.
Did you read the OP about the tears and the nightmares? Is that acceptable? Will it 'toughen them up'?
Do you have kids? Do you let them watch 18 rated films and games?

i have kids yes and no i dont let them watch 18 rated stuff purley because hes not in to watching tele or palyaing games as he is only just gone 5

bugbabe1970

jamespir wrote: »

were not talking bout a small child we talking about an 8-9 year old and ive seen more gory thing's in tom an jerry than most of the games that are out

yes i agree that some children do take it to literaly some adults do to
but if you try to cover them away from things thyre never going to learn


i dont mean show them every night but once in a while isnt going to hurt them
we were shown some stuff (which now could be called horrific things) in school from the hollocaust to a women giving birth and that hasnt scarred us

Im sorry to be so blunt and go off topic, but you really do not have any understanding about the way children develop. For a start its not a case of them taking things literally, small children do not have the experience or the intellect to decipher what is real and what is not that is why there are ages on films/dvds/etc. It is up to the person responsible for the child to protect their children from being exposed to unsuitable material.

Ah the old Tom and Jerry quote! How many times do we hear that! Its a bloody cartoon and nothing like real life, children of 3 years and over are able to distinguish animation from real life, not so sure about the horror movies though!

So do you think its ok for children to look at !!!!!! material because its not real??

I'm no Mary Whitehouse, I have 2 teenage boys and a 9 year old girl. My oldest son has never been bothered by a bit of blood and gore now and again, my middle child wouldn't watch Jurassic Park for years at is terrified him. All children are different. But I'm sorry, showing horror films to young girls who were obviously unhappy about it is bang out of order and I would really question the reasons why the dad felt the need to do this. My Daughter loves Twighlight, but we watched it together and I told her if she didn't like it at all then I would turn it off or explain to her what was happening. She is intellectual enough to realise that vampires are not real, but other children of her age might not be.

This dad has put his own needs and wishes before those of the daughters he only sees at weekends, he should be ashamed of himself.

Watching videos about the hollocaust and childbirth are things that happened in REAL LIFE! They are not shown for entertainment and are usually shown to children in a sensitive appropriate way at the relevant Key Stage.

jennihen

I can't beleive how much the old Dr Who's scared me. Other people used to just laugh about it but I was honest-to-goodness petrified. It was definitely my over-active imagination not the special effects!!!

k.o.d

jamespir wrote: »

i have kids yes and no i dont let them watch 18 rated stuff purley because hes not in to watching tele or palyaing games as he is only just gone 5

So you are saying if he was into these types of games he would be able to watch or play them?

jamespir

k.o.d wrote: »

So you are saying if he was into these types of games he would be able to watch or play them?

depends on the game really i know he has watched grandtheftauto as my parnters brother plays it and he sees it when hes at the grandparents and it hasnt scared him or prompted him to rob cars