Children watching horror/ scary films!!

SugarSpun

I think passing information about how upset they were by text message is asking for trouble. I'd suggest sitting down and telling him how upset they were and asking that he keep scary films for after they're in bed in future. And if he does it again explore options for limiting his overnight visits as it seems like that's prime film-watching time?

poppyolivia

omg is he totally off his head???

feelinggood_2

I would imagine that next time round, the children will tell him they don't want to watch something scary, so is the problem really going to repeat?

I don't think you should tell him how to look after the children, they are his children too.

poppyolivia

I would be blunt and tell them that if you hear he's being showing that sort of things to the kids, you and a solicitor will have to review when he can actually have the kids, hes not responsible is he so I really think you need to have a word with him!

I'd be fizzing if I were you!!! Poor kids!

Curious_George_2

jamespir wrote: »

i cant see what's wrong with a 35 year old palying call of duty and i dont think that will affect your kids really

as for the horror films you have to grow up and realise its just a film (
ITS NOT REAL

you also need to explain this to your kids and they will soon forget about it

dont be so ridiculous!
this is clearly the answer of someone who has never had to get up during the night to comfort a petrified child,

i agree there is nothing wrong with gaming at your EXs age and despite the way the OP worded it thats not the point she was making... more that those games have an age rating just like the films do and they are there FOR A REASON!

my DD used to get upset at people dying in programmes and although it had been explained to her that it wasnt real it doesnt stop the images running through her head.... we even showed her the actor who had "died" at an awards show the night after so she could see he was alright but by then it was all about the horrible house fire that they couldnt escape from... not wether they were pretending or not,
she could see the fire in her mind and had nightmares about it happening to people she loves,

for years she was scared of malificent from sleeping beauty (yes.. a disney film made for children!!!) she would wake up screaming because of this character in a film she only watched half of... the kid would never sleep again if she watched something like Saw!!!

i used to suffer with terrible nightmares and even as a teenager i used to scare the bejesus out of myself at bedtime with the "what ifs" that would run through my head, or my over active imagination telling me i could hear someone on the stairs...
did it have any connection with the fact i could watch just about any film at a very young age and allowed to see horrors meant for 18 year olds 10 years before my time with my dad? who can say,

you need to have a word with him and say the kids were really upset by what they saw and have had trouble sleeping ever since, they are only little and far too young to be watching 18, 15 or even 12 films...
if he absolutely has to watch them he can do so after their bedtime just like the rest of us manage to...

venus1978

I have to admit I was allowed to watch horror films as a child (my dad was a fan), but was always told they are make believe and none of it is real and its all just nonsense.. I'm 32 now and were my DH is wetting himself scared at some of the films, I'm sitting laughing at him and saying come on its not real its just nonsense !!

I'm not really sure what you could do, but If you can convince them try and tell the kids over and over again its not real its just a stupid nonsense film, thats make believe and would never happen.

lilmisschick

Hi all,

Thanks for all the replies!!!

I agree the comment about him playing games was quite flippant but its because of again the age rating and the girls come home and tell me he plays on them for most of the weekend, to me, that IS childish and what is the point in them going to spend time with him if that's all he does and puts them in front of inappropriate films. (Just to add, he lives with his parents and has a games console/ widescreen tv etc.. all up in his room so the comment was because the time he has with them I feel, should be out doing things, playing games with them...instead Grandma takes them out)

Anyway, back to question in hand. No they did not ask to watch it, the eldest said she didn't realise it was going to be scary when he put it on and when she told him, he told her to go to sleep instead (he put it on for bedtime in his bed with him?) and as for talking to him about it, when I used to ask him not to swear in front of them at pre school age he would tell me to f*** off (hence why I did) and with the Call of Duty - He used to let them play it, not just play it around them so for the person that said I shouldn't tell him what to do, they are his children too, do you still agree that even if they coming home unhappy, I should keep my thoughts and opinions to myself? Would you let your children be stuck in front of awful films that scared them, sworn around and sat in a dingy house all weekend and not say anything?

Thank you to all the constructive advice, I feel better that other people agree it does have an impact on you and for a very long time too!!

xx

xmaslolly76

I can see it from both sides as my DD is 11 and has watched horrow since she was little with no ill effects at all she has quite a wise head on her shoulders though and understands thats it is all makebelieve and not real my DS however does not like horror films at all and would have nightmares if he watch them so i suppose it comes down to each individual child. If they are effecting your children you have every right to ask him not to let them watch them. Do you know what the film was. I ask as my son accidently saw part of shaun of the dead once when he came out of bed and it frightened him so we showed him the making of the film on the extras so he could see that they were only people dressed up and pretending it might worth taking that route to put there minds at rest that it isnt real and nothing is going to happen to them at night :-)

JBD

Personally I would try and discuss this, as calmly and nicely as possible with the Ex. The point is that your children are upset, and surely he wouldn't want to upset his own children on purpose.
At the same time, I think it is important to keep it in proportion. I notice you said in your OP that you hate horror films. It may be that you have sheltered your children from anything remotely scary and they may not be able to handle seeing things that wouldn't upset other children of a similar age. Unfortunately children nowadays do have access to a wide variety of material that wasn't always so widely available. What happens, eg, if one of them [especially the older one]has a sleepover at one of her friends and they start to watch horror movies. I do think you have to prepare your children. They have to understand that not everything in life is 'nice' and 'sweet'. There are some things that are darker and more scary.
Personally, I think the most important thing is to educate your children about what is real and what isn't.

lilmisschick

JBD wrote: »

Personally I would try and discuss this, as calmly and nicely as possible with the Ex. The point is that your children are upset, and surely he wouldn't want to upset his own children on purpose.
At the same time, I think it is important to keep it in proportion. I notice you said in your OP that you hate horror films. It may be that you have sheltered your children from anything remotely scary and they may not be able to handle seeing things that wouldn't upset other children of a similar age. Unfortunately children nowadays do have access to a wide variety of material that wasn't always so widely available. What happens, eg, if one of them [especially the older one]has a sleepover at one of her friends and they start to watch horror movies. I do think you have to prepare your children. They have to understand that not everything in life is 'nice' and 'sweet'. There are some things that are darker and more scary.
Personally, I think the most important thing is to educate your children about what is real and what isn't.

We let them watch eastenders recently as all their school friends were talking about it etc.. (the who killed Archie story) and they were a little worried watching that, however on bbc3 straight after was the 'stunts/ how they did it' and of course I was able to show them how TV/ FILMS are edited to look real. I do let them watch things that are 'age appropriate' but can still be a little scary, harry potter, where the wild things are and chitty chitty bang bang (my youngest is terrified of the witch in it, lol) However, a film that has horrific killing, violent scenes in is not for children of 6 and 8 years old. Thats why they are only put on the tv after 9pm at night.

Just because I don't like horror films, that doesn't have anything to do with it. I let them do things that I don't particulaly enjoy myself but they have age ratings for a reason!!