Children watching horror/ scary films!!

mummy_Jay

You mentioned your ex lives at home with his mum, is it worth talking to her about him letting the girls watch these things and how its effecting them. She may have better luck explaining to him why its not appropriate?

fernliebee

mummy_Jay wrote: »

You mentioned your ex lives at home with his mum, is it worth talking to her about him letting the girls watch these things and how its effecting them. She may have better luck explaining to him why its not appropriate?

Thats what I was thinking. Maybe if she knows how frightened they are she can steer him in the right direction without it seeming confrontational from you. Seem's ridiculous that she would need to seeing as he is a 'grown up.'

aaronm_2

Anyone at any age to play games is OK. The thing is never get addicted to it.A little time for it for fun is understandable. Children should stay away from scary films in my opinion. But if they really like to watch the horror films, that's a total different thing.

kindofagilr

JBD wrote: »

Personally I would try and discuss this, as calmly and nicely as possible with the Ex. The point is that your children are upset, and surely he wouldn't want to upset his own children on purpose.
At the same time, I think it is important to keep it in proportion. I notice you said in your OP that you hate horror films. It may be that you have sheltered your children from anything remotely scary and they may not be able to handle seeing things that wouldn't upset other children of a similar age. Unfortunately children nowadays do have access to a wide variety of material that wasn't always so widely available. What happens, eg, if one of them [especially the older one]has a sleepover at one of her friends and they start to watch horror movies. I do think you have to prepare your children. They have to understand that not everything in life is 'nice' and 'sweet'. There are some things that are darker and more scary.
Personally, I think the most important thing is to educate your children about what is real and what isn't.

I totally agree with this comment, I would still like to know what the film was.

Ive found these days that the ratings arent as high as they used to be, T2 for example is a 18 but I think if it was rated nowadays it would be a 12A

k.o.d

jamespir wrote: »

i cant see what's wrong with a 35 year old palying call of duty and i dont think that will affect your kids really

as for the horror films you have to grow up and realise its just a film (
ITS NOT REAL

you also need to explain this to your kids and they will soon forget about it

and explain to the childs father that you would prefer it if he didnt let them watch scary films because they dont like them

Are you for real?

How many kids have been desensitised due to watching computer games and seeing people getting blown up, killed in many manner of ways and then being able to start again.

Personally, our 13 and 11 year old boys are not allowed to play violent games or watch 15 or above rated films, because we don't think they are suitable for them, now others may think differently but, computer games have advanced so much nowadays in graphics and realism that it the line becomes blurred between fact and fantasy.

Anything the kids see will be seen as normal by them and so graphic violence, swearing and all the things in other posts you have said is unacceptable behaviour can become acceptable because you welcome it into your home.

It is not about what the 35 year old does when he is alone, it what he makes acceptable to young kids

lilmisschick

mummy_Jay wrote: »

You mentioned your ex lives at home with his mum, is it worth talking to her about him letting the girls watch these things and how its effecting them. She may have better luck explaining to him why its not appropriate?

Hi, I have always gone to her for things like this and it usually resorts to her and him shouting and falling out about things. I wanted to know how to approach him without him shouting and swearing at me without always getting her involved. I feel that because he is always doing things that I disagree with, for example - smoking with the girls in the car (youngest has asthma) she is starting to get defensive with things that I have problems with as it seems to them that I am a nag but I just don't like swearing, smoking and inappropriate films around young children?!

lilmisschick

kindofagilr wrote: »

I totally agree with this comment, I would still like to know what the film was.

Ive found these days that the ratings arent as high as they used to be, T2 for example is a 18 but I think if it was rated nowadays it would be a 12A

I agree with this too, see my post about eastenders. I would like to know what the name of the film is too. Oldest dd said that it was a copy film so wasn't in a proper case. From how they have explained it though, the whole film had an awful lot of graphic killing in it. Maybe if I get them to tell me the story of it someone may recognise it?!

Ivrytwr3

jamespir wrote: »

i cant see what's wrong with a 35 year old palying call of duty and i dont think that will affect your kids really

as for the horror films you have to grow up and realise its just a film (
ITS NOT REAL

you also need to explain this to your kids and they will soon forget about it

and explain to the childs father that you would prefer it if he didnt let them watch scary films because they dont like them

I'm with you on Call of Duty - there'e nothing wrong with a 35 year old playing games! I've been a gamer all my life, i have a PS2, wii, PS3 - awesome!

However, i do this on my own, i wouldn't let the kids see it, especially the horror films. I don't know what the dad is playing at, it's obvious, show a kid a horror movie they are going to get nightmares. Why do this to them?

Unfortunately i have no advice on how to stop the dad doing this, as he sounds a LOT of been a bit dense in the head. However, what about telling the girls that should he put a horror movie/rated game on they:

1. tell him to turn it off, they don't like it

2. leave the room.

3. Give you a call to come and pick them up.

lilmisschick

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

I'm with you on Call of Duty - there'e nothing wrong with a 35 year old playing games! I've been a gamer all my life, i have a PS2, wii, PS3 - awesome!

However, i do this on my own, i wouldn't let the kids see it, especially the horror films. I don't know what the dad is playing at, it's obvious, show a kid a horror movie they are going to get nightmares. Why do this to them?

Unfortunately i have no advice on how to stop the dad doing this, as he sounds a LOT of been a bit dense in the head. However, what about telling the girls that should he put a horror movie/rated game on they:

1. tell him to turn it off, they don't like it

2. leave the room.

3. Give you a call to come and pick them up.

I have told them they can come home at any time but it was put on at 10.00pm at night once they were in bed with him in his room. He told them to go to sleep if they didn't like it and eldest said the noises were just as horrible?! :mad:

mummy_Jay

lilmisschick wrote: »

I just don't like swearing, smoking and inappropriate films around young children?!

I completely agree with this, as a mum you should be able to protect your children from having their health put at risk or inappropriate behavour around them. But as far as I know as he is their father you have no legal rights to protect them from him doing this to them, so you are only left with your own power of persuation to convince him how he should behave infront of them.

Are the girls still happy about visiting him even though he does these things?

I don't know if you have seen any of the Jo frost series on channel 4 on tuesday nights but the first one covered the negative influence of violent games on children, i don't know if you get a copy of it to show him. It might help him to understand what he's doing to them?

But the fact your having to talk to him about such basis things, that to me should be obvious to him, it begs th question does he even care what effect he has on them?

How about giving childline a call see if someone their has any bright ideas.