£100,000 Debt "club"

Debtomaniak

lynzpower wrote:

Keeping the lines of communication and the love flowing is the most important thing is times of stress. Even if you cannot discuss things for whatever reason there are lots of other things you can do to show that the love and support is there. Tell him you love him, give him hugs , reassure him that with the strength of your love you can get through anything.

Another thing you can do is look to the future, it can get out of the stuckness of the present- where do we want to be this time next year, and do a spider diagram or even jsut a chit chat? Even things like "Id like to do a training course" - whats stopping me - money, lets see if the council run any courses for those unemplloyed, just things like that. Baby steps, and dont be afraid to focus on the positives it might feel liike you are getting nowhere but coming at the issue the other way around sometimes helps

Yes, every time I talk to him about the problem I concentrate on the future and how happy we are going to be without that debt hanning over us. Aparantly, you have to be unemployed for 6 month before you can have course paid by the council. My H was doing odd driving jobs just to get us by.
I see what you mean though, thinking positive is the only way to go.:o

Debtomaniak

Sea78 wrote:

Hi, welcome and sorry to hear about the tough times you've been having. Please please please please please STOP putting his debt in your name - he can approach lenders and see if they will give him low interest life of balance rates?? By taking on the debt like this means that he can continue to be in denial about his debt and his responsibilities. This isn't meant in a horrid way, I really do feel for you. All of me & OH's debt is in my name :mad: and I paid off a lot of his debt when we got together (when I didn't have debts:rolleyes: ). Just leads to problems....

Hugs to you

Sea xxx

Thank you, you make sence, I am just trying to help him which ever way I can. I am not sure what accually is helping and what making things worse anymore. Sometimes you think, you are doing the right thing and then it turns out to be even worse. Do not think I wil take any more cards, because now that he is realising that it is not the way out, hope we only a few steps away from making that big step. Thanks for hugs, feels good.

Debtomaniak

Hi everyone and thank you for your time. Now if someone says "this days no one has time for one another" I shall disagree.
Got another question now. Say after the sale of our house and repayment of mortgage we had £170K left and rented somewhere to live for a while, could we write to our creditors and ask them to reduse our debt? And if creditors agreed and assuming my H got himself a job by then, could we both apply for a mortgage to buy a flat or a tiny house?:o

lynsayjane

i'm not 100% but i'd say contact the creditors now. if you do it when you have savings ie the 170k i'd assume they'd demand a share of that.

Justindebt

Not according to the bloke I spoke to this week.

They will come after you if you have the money.

You are asset rich but cash poor.....stick with your asset at the moment because they are unlikely to find a judge who will put you on a street, as far as I can see.

When you have the cash in yer hand, then the predators will circle you.

Phone the CCCA as son as possible.

Your husband has an income so a DMP is well doable.

Debtomaniak

lynsayjane wrote:

i'm not 100% but i'd say contact the creditors now. if you do it when you have savings ie the 170k i'd assume they'd demand a share of that.

One debt expert advised that we sell the house and offer to pay our creditors a part of the debt and ask them to write the rest off. I am confused now. If we do not sell our house and call creditors, aren't they going to forse us to sell the house or make us bankrupt?

Debtomaniak

Justindebt wrote:

Not according to the bloke I spoke to this week.

They will come after you if you have the money.

You are asset rich but cash poor.....stick with your asset at the moment because they are unlikely to find a judge who will put you on a street, as far as I can see.

When you have the cash in yer hand, then the predators will circle you.

Phone the CCCA as son as possible.

Your husband has an income so a DMP is well doable.

Just need to make my H to make that phone call, they will not talk to me.
thank you

lynzpower

Debtomaniak wrote:

One debt expert advised that we sell the house and offer to pay our creditors a part of the debt and ask them to write the rest off. I am confused now. If we do not sell our house and call creditors, aren't they going to forse us to sell the house or make us bankrupt?

Ok well theres 2 things

1. You ( or your OH) needs to be defaulting ie) not paying the debts or be in an IVA or DMP as far as I know before full & final settlements can be offered
I dont know a great deal about these, someone else will - Charlotte664 or Xbiglad, or of course wonder-girl - but im sure others will too

2. If you sell the house, you get to keep whatever profit is there for you, whatever you want with it. If they file for bankrupcy or you choose bankrupcy as far as I understand it, they sell the house and dish out betwen the creditors. So you'll get nil for it AFAIK

I believe its a better idea to sell your home before they do, you keep control of the situation, plus any residual profits are yours to invest how you wish.

Justindebt

Have you any dependeant children, Debtomanisk?

That might make a big difference to how your circumstances are viewed.

Justindebt

Here's a thought.

Maybe some of the folk hereabouts could advise on this.

If you were to sell the house before the posse catches you, and put the money in an account in your name only, I can't see them being able to touch that dough.

I might be wrong, but it would be good to know where you stood on that point.