Cant afford my wife anymore

lottysdad

Benefits only 135? Surely you should be entitled to tax credits?

dmg24

tiff wrote: »

I cant see working tax credits on that list? We have a similar income and still get working tax credits.

The OP earns too much for WTC.

lottysdad wrote: »

Benefits only 135? Surely you should be entitled to tax credits?

The OP would receive approx £80 CB and £55 CTC. This is correct for his income.

Horace

Instead of being a lady of leisure and swanning off for beauty treatments and the gym..her time would be better spent batch cooking and freezing food and not shopping in M&S for food or wherever she chooses to shop £500 a month is huge (you can feed an army on that) and I bet you chuck a lot of food too. Have a look at the OS board elsewhere on this forum for tips on meal planning and start writing a list of what is needed and not what eyes and stomach say is needed once inside the supermarket.

You need to tell her the situation and perhaps consider downsizing to a smaller house, even downsizing your sky package will help, in fact downsizing in all the areas mentioned by others on your SOA.

planning_ahead_2

You are anticipating that your wife will hit the roof. You are anticipating that she will not go back to work. You are anticipating that she will not want to give up her luxuries. You really do need to sit down and talk the seriousness of your financial situation through with her. At least give her the chance to prove you right or (hopefully) wrong. Hopefully your love and support for each will see you working together to move forward with sorting your financial problems.

From what you say, your wife's lifestyle is responsible for large chunks of the debt, but even subconsciously you must have realised where this was all heading.

Well done for facing up to this and posting for support and guidance on this forum. You need to have your wife onboard and working with you before any of the advice you receive here will work. It's no good you cutting things such as your mobile phone costs if she is still spending xyz at the gym a few times a week.

Good luck with this all, and please keep updating us.

mandi

enabler wrote: »

My wife will not got back to work - she has always been adament that she shoud stay home with our daughter. This is something she strongly believes in.

She has also always been one who likes makeup and getting her nails done

She can go to work in the evening & weekends. Tbh she sounds selfish to me . If you were my husband I would trust that our relationship was strong enough for you to be able to tell me of your worries . ( not having a dig, just my thoughts )

katkins2

Hi

If you are finding it hard to talk to your wife about your situation, show her your SOA or even this thread. Letting her see the situation in black and white should help her realise that changes need to be made and fast.

Good Luck:)

susieh_2

She surely must realise that 1 salary wont cover what 2 salaries did. Why not show her this thread/post & most importantly your SOA. I'm sure once she sees it she'll realise that she needs to contribute by either working or knocking things on the head and drastically reducing the groceries.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Frozenace

Maybe show her the Statement of affairs (not the thread) , the financial situation is supposed to be a joint thing.

My girlfriend has been out of work for 2 years and she's now starting her own online business (like Ebay).

The situation is obviously affecting your stress levels and the result will be that you have an unhappy daughter.

Once you start cutting items off the list, it will feel a lot better... (I spend about 85 all inclusive for sky hd, internet, landline, phone). Most of the times I don't even watch the stuff.

Butti

enabler wrote: »

My wife will not got back to work - she has always been adament that she shoud stay home with our daughter. This is something she strongly believes in.

She has also always been one who likes makeup and getting her nails done etc

internet and landline incl with sky - its all together in a package

I also get commission on top of salarly but that is so variable ranging from 0-500

Enabler,
you are going to have to talk to your wife and be strong on the realities of the situation. THE most important period in a child's life in terms of stability and reassurance is aged up to 3 while their conscious brain is developing. If you have a happy contented girl your wife has done her job very well. She can now help you ensure the continued stability of your life by getting back to part-time work at least in term times. This will reduce your anxiety and anxiety in the relationship and maintain a calm stable home environment for your daughter.

Your internet/TV/telephone package is not a package that stays with you for life. If you read Martin's take on these packages in that section you will see that you are unlikely to be getting value for money. I am being made redundant next month and my package will be going. It will be replaced by an internet contract, freeview and a telephone contract. It is currently about £52 and I reckon he can be cut in half.

Well done for coming on here. But really do what needs to be done, firstly talking to your wife, secondly cutting some of these things that you are reluctant to cut.

B

tiff

I think something really needs to be done about the mortgage, a 100% mortgage at 6 times your salary was a huge mistake which I'm sure you now know. Even if she works part time it wont make up the shortfall, so maybe moving house or her working full time will be the answer? I wouldnt know how to deal with the negative equity situation though, if someone else could comment on that?