Cant afford my wife anymore

dmg24

If she is insistent on keeping up her beauty regime, do you have a local college that has a beauty school? I was able to cut my beauty outgoings from £150 per month to £20 for hair and a facial.

RAS

Cleosmum wrote: »

Can you get a lodger?

Good idea. She works or gets lodger.

Cleosmum

enabler wrote: »

I know.............

she spends most days shopping, at the gym or taking our daughter to one of her classes -not sure what she will do with her time if this is entirely cut.

Have you spoken to her yet? You may find she does the opposite and want to help out by working part time. She may be happy to cut back. But you wont know until you talk....and give plenty of time for the knee jerk reactions to wear off, there is bound to be one

RAS

enabler wrote: »

I know.............

she spends most days shopping, at the gym or taking our daughter to one of her classes -not sure what she will do with her time if this is entirely cut.

lady of leisure? or !!!!!!!!!!?

Ostinato

enabler wrote: »

My wife will not got back to work - she has always been adament that she shoud stay home with our daughter. This is something she strongly believes in.

She has also always been one who likes makeup and getting her nails done etc

internet and landline incl with sky - its all together in a package

I also get commission on top of salarly but that is so variable ranging from 0-500

Fair enough we would all love to stay home with our kids and have that time - but at the end of the day the loss of income it is causing could in turn mean she has no home to stay at with her daughter anyway.

Even if she only goes back to work for 6 months or a year that extra income will be so much better, or if she looks for a part time or flexitime or something.

Making cuts in your soa along with this added income well get you out of this debt quicker than any other way - and although your wife may like to keep up her luxurious lifestyle you are just going to have to make sure she realises shes going to lose it all for good if she cant curb it down a bit for a while and make some comprimises and changes herself.

flossiejo

enabler wrote: »

My wife will not got back to work - she has always been adament that she shoud stay home with our daughter. This is something she strongly believes in.

What reason is there to stay home once your daughter is at school...

Also, strong beliefs won't pay the bills or keep a roof over your heads.

Does she have this strong belief because she views it's better for your daughter, or because she doesn't want to work (you mentioned that she gave up work very quickly once she was pregnant)

miss_missy

well done on the soa
you can do this but the cutbacks are going to be hard
we had 65000 unsecured debt and our income was approx same as your and our debts are reducing steadily but it takes a lot of hard work and your wife is going to have to play apart in that
if she wants make up etc she will have to at least get a part time job and help pay some of the bills, she may need a little time to come to terms with it but you do need to get working at this asap as you are living way beyond what you can afford

are the cards on 0% deals if so when do they finish what will the aprs be as you really need a plan of action before the interest kicks in

tiff

I cant see working tax credits on that list? We have a similar income and still get working tax credits.

jedi82

Hi enabler, just wanted to echo what these guys have said - speak to the wife! Our incomings/outgoings were v.similar to yours except we managed to rack up double the debt by not facing up to the problem. I was convinced my husband would completely hit the roof and did not tell him until our situation was awful (we are now going for an IVA to sort out the mess) but he surprised me completely and although he was angry he did not blame me and accepted that we had got into this mess together. Your wife must realise that you are spending above your means and until you talk to her she will continue to bury her head in the sand too. You can then work together to get out of this mess.

Good luck :-)

alessev1

Come honest with you wife first.
Maybe she can try to get a job, now your daughter is 4 she can start school.
Put everything on a budget, might be no luxury for a wile.
And don't be pessimistic, whanever happen you have wife , daugther and you are healthy.
Hugs for you!