Cant afford my wife anymore

poppy_f1

i agree with the others you need to tell your wife, now your daughter is 4 theres always a chance that your wife will go back to work even part time which would help out

since your wife isnt aware of the situation then its unlikely she will give up the beauty treatments, buy more expensive food etc

there is plenty of scope in your SOA to cut back but you do need your wifes backing

tabby_cats_mum

Budgets for clothes, gym, beauty treatments, holiday all need to be a big fat zero! Grocery costs are extremely high.
You really need to get your wife on board, you really can't do this alone.

debtdesperado

I think you should tell your wife too - but I can't see why she'd hit the roof as it sounds as if (I mean this in the nicest possible way!) you're both as much at fault as each other .. she spent it without keeping track of her spending or considering that the money coming in was less, but you haven't told her about the debts that were mounting up so giving her a chance to stop spending so much.... Rinse and repeat! Break the cycle by telling her what has happened. Neither of you are to blame - she thought the money was there and that you liked the holidays etc, you have done well to keep going as long as you have and have shouldered all the worry.

There is nothing you can't sort out - all the advice above is good. Also, I think there are a couple of silver linings to consider:

1. It's easier to rein in reckless overspending - you could be in a situation where you were already living frugally and couldn't make the bills. THAT is really serious. If you post your SOA you will be deluged with suggestions from the helpful bods on here to cut the bills, and then you and your wife can decide what cuts to make (everyone has cuts which are painful to them, but would be non-painless to anyone else!)

2. At least your daughter is 4 and will soon be going to school - so your wife can get a job, even part time and even if it's just long enough to get on top of your debts. That will help a lot.

3. Negative equity is only a worry if you need to sell your place. If you're staying put, it doesn't matter. As long as you can meet the mortgage, you can stay put and wait for the house value to rise.

Hope this is useful

rupe34

Hi enabler

Well done for posting your SOA - I think that took some courage to do.

I just want to echo the other posters - you need to have 'the talk' with your wife. There are so many places that you can cut back on your SOA, but its not going to happen unless you are both aware of the situation and make some plans together.

RAS

is this based on your previous few months bank/card statements or a good guess.

Whatever, i am going to be ruthless.

enabler wrote: »

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2460
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0 - the most efficient way of increasing your family income is for OH to earn up to the tax threshold
Benefits................................ 135
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2595
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 1255 - this is very very high for your income. have you checked if you can get and taxc credits?
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 148
Electricity............................. 85 - this is high
Gas..................................... 60 - and a bit too
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 45
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 85 - you need to get this down to £15-20 PAYG for you both
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 85 - this has to go ASAP.
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 500 - this is massive. £200 would be generous and people here manage for three on less.
Clothing................................ 150 - forget it. Shoes and knickers - cheap ones. Otherwise, e-bay, and www.freegle.co.uk
Petrol/diesel........................... 200 - can you reduce this?
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 35 - check and use cashback
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 30
Car parking............................. 20
Other travel............................ 25 - what is this?
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 100 - what is this?
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 20
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 18 - see if you can combine and reduce this via cashback sites.
Contents insurance...................... 18
Life assurance ......................... 45 - high - reduced term insurance for the mortgage is mosre like £15. Then you need a top-up
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 100 - £20
Haircuts................................ 60 - £20
Entertainment........................... 60 - £20
Holiday................................. 150 - unless it is booked, forget it
Emergency fund.......................... 0
(Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
(Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
gym memebership......................... 45 - when can you cancel this?
beauty treatments....................... 50 - this goes imeediately
Total monthly expenses.................. 3401

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 225000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 5000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 230000

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 260000...(1255).....5.79
Total secured & HP debts...... 260000....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Sainsburys Loan................18000.....251.......0
Egg credit card................3800......110.......0
Capital One CC.................1800......60........0
Sainsburys cc..................4500......219.......0
Total unsecured debts..........28100.....640.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,595
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 3,401
Available for debt repayments........... -806
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 640
Amount short for making debt repayments. -1,446
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 230,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -260,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -28,100
Net Assets.............................. -58,100

You can certainly save £800 from this budget.

Then you need to start tackling the debt.

What are the APRs and limits on the cards?

DVardysShadow

enabler wrote: »

feel sick - I hadno idea that we were overspending like this

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
....

Ouch! :eek:

This is going to be painful. Do discuss with your wife, because you need her fully on board. You are going to have to cut back by about £800/month just to start living within your means. And then find another £650/month to keep on top of the debt. And then save a further £4000 to slay the first debt and cut yourself some slack for paying the other debts down.

This really is going to be get rid of satellite, mobiles, TV, entertainment, everything. It is not going to be 'what can I cut back on?', more 'what is the minimum I have to pay to keep body and soul together?'. Plus a spending diary so you know where every penny is going. And then you will need to get your wife to go back to work and take on other jobs yourself.

It will take a few weeks to get your budget under control. Once you do, and you can start paying off debt, it would be good to know the APR's on your cards to establish a strategy for clearing them.

Early days yet

enabler

My wife will not got back to work - she has always been adament that she shoud stay home with our daughter. This is something she strongly believes in.

She has also always been one who likes makeup and getting her nails done etc

internet and landline incl with sky - its all together in a package

I also get commission on top of salarly but that is so variable ranging from 0-500

RAS

enabler wrote: »

My wife will not got back to work - she has always been adament that she shoud stay home with our daughter. This is something she strongly believes in.

In that case she has to give up the beauty treatement and the clothes and the holidays and the up to date mobile phone and and and as you cannot afford them unless she works.

And you can barely afford to pay off you debts if she does not work, commission or not.

enabler

I know.............

she spends most days shopping, at the gym or taking our daughter to one of her classes -not sure what she will do with her time if this is entirely cut.

Cleosmum

enabler wrote: »

18mths ago we bought a house. Its bigger than we need....

Can you get a lodger?