Cant afford my wife anymore

paybacktime2008

Your wife sounds like a lovely person and she obviously feels very strongly about the welfare and upbringing of your child, but the biggest factor effecting your child (certainly once she is at school) will be the fact that she has a roof over her head, food on the table and two healthy loving parents, and until your wife takes (some more realistic and practical) responsibility for the situation all three may be at risk, because I think your mental health will definitely be effected by this situation.

quoted above from Sally Mander.

Hi Enabler,

I agree with the above wholeheartedly. Last year I saw dear friends lose their house, thier mental health and their mariage because of debt. It was an incredibly similar situation to yours. He earned good money. She stayed at home and looked after children. Different to your situation was that they both stuck their heads in the sand. Still had the salon treatments, the days out etc etc.

I can totally sympathise with your wifes wshes to be a SAHM. BUT BUT BUT. If things don't change there will be no home to stay and be a mum in.

In hindsight my friends realise that the plasma, the outfits, the gadgets meant diddly squat in the remnants of their life.

All the very best......I really think you should signpost your wife to read this thread. A huge fall out now will prahaps avoid a permanant fall out in the future!

paybacktime2008

basmic wrote: »

I apologise to all I have offended - as usual I have tried to make a point, and offended everybody in the process.

My ultimate point was, I feel there are perhaps too many women only too willing to have kids and either split with the father and claim CSA, or live at home spending the wages. This what I mean when I said the article reminded me of the OP's wife.

Once again, my apologies. I can take onboard your wife's principles of being there for her kids. If the truth be known, she is probably a caring lady hence wanting to be with her children.

But she does really need to stop spending your money, unless she is prepared to work for it. Fine, she might feel she deserves it for looking after the kids at home - but this is her decision, and she is driving the household's finances into the ground!

I don't see myself as a womaniser. Perhaps narrow and single minded and a person who too easily generalises is the better way of putting things. This is my own fault, and this thread alone has taught me a precious lesson - don't discriminate people at face value.

Finally - my apologies to all offended. I shall now decist in any more posts in this thread - at least until I think about what I post.

Over and out.

Just to even it out.

I think there are too many men only too willing to let a woman have their child, !!!!!! off into the sunset, and pay no maintenance.;)

gratefulforhelp_2

paybacktime2008 wrote: »

Just to even it out.

I think there are too many men only too willing to let a woman have their child, !!!!!! off into the sunset, and pay no maintenance.;)

with apologies to enabler for getting off-topic, hear hear!

taxi73

Are you ok enabler?..You haven't posted for ages.

donny-gal

Enabler
I have quickly read your posts, and not the answers on the thread, and as a Mum wanted to add my pennyworth, what is gone is gone, and I do not wish to comment on how and why, but how to go forward.

Please do not stand on your pride regarding help from your in-laws, if they are financially secure, and your wife is their only child, then she will be the beneficiary of their wealth at some point in the future, they may prefer to see her financially OK now (if not an only one then a partial share). Doing this on a basis that from here forward you live to your means, and if they wish to treat her and/or your child(ren) in the future that is their prerogative. Include your wife, even asking her to look after the finances, she will then see what you or have not got. Forcing yourselves into unnecessary DMP is not productive.

Hoping you are now on a better footing.
DG

dorisday

This thread still going? but nothing from the OP!!! seems a waste of time

Nargleblast

Here here Doris! Suggest we let the thread slip down and disappear. Enabler will be able to start a new thread when he is ready, one that he won't be afraid to show his wife! Good luck Enabler, hope to hear from you soon.

pebbles88

dorisday wrote: »

This thread still going? but nothing from the OP!!! seems a waste of time

maybe..maybe not...

we dont now how things went after last weekend, sometimes the LBM can throw everything into disarray.

i just hope the OP can come back soon if he still needs help, and doesnt feel as though he daren't

slummymummyof3

I have also pm'd Enabler and had no response although he was online at the time.

bluebag

slummymummyof3 wrote: »

I have also pm'd Enabler and had no response although he was online at the time.

It was really nice of you to try, but maybe enabler isn't ready yet. It isn't easy any of this stuff is it? I found admitting to my problem was pretty hard to take. I hope he feels he can return to the forum when he is ready. We each have our own path to tread.
bb