Cant afford my wife anymore

Primrose

I've been reading this thread and congratulate you on the way you are trying to turn things around. It won't seem so at the moment, but in years to come when you look back, you will probably find that the difficulties you are suffering now will have been one of the most defining and strengthening part of your marriage. Keep going!

Happytogetdebtfree

all the best enabler im sure you will get there nowits all in the open the only way is debt down life up

RobertoMoir

basmic wrote: »

Welcome to 'Single mother Britain':- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1254164/Single-mother-Britain-Three-women-explain-babies-dont-need-father.html

Rather sums up the attitude of your wife, TBH.

How is that helpful? Or did you just want an excuse to publish a daily fail scare piece?

CostCutter

daviesalie wrote: »

I'm not sure if this would work for you, but its worth a look:-

http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx

My fear of you paying off the overdraft is the temptation to build it back up again when things are still very tight. Whereas, if you paid off a card(s) it would be done n dusted.

Good luck with the in-laws today

I agree, the temptation would be there to build it back up again. I would concentrate on getting one of your credit cards down to £0 and that might give yourself a bit of room to manoeuvre with an 0% / life of balance deal so you are not building up so much interest on the others.

Just as a thought for your wife, as she doesn't want to go out to work and wants to be at home with your child and you seem to have the space at home. Has she ever thought of becoming a child minder?

HTH CC:)

Pitlanepiglet

CostCutter wrote: »

Just as a thought for your wife, as she doesn't want to go out to work and wants to be at home with your child and you seem to have the space at home. Has she ever thought of becoming a child minder?

HTH CC:)

That's a good idea!

Horace

Good luck with the inlaws at lunchtime today Enabler.

Renting out a room would be good - you can offer space to a businessman who is likely to be there during the week and not at weekends. Another thing that your wife could do - is set up as self employed working from home perhaps doing what she did before whe gave up work.

With regards to her clothes shopping - if she buys something then she has to sell something of hers - she won't like it but it should encourage her to wear what she has rather than buying something new to hang in the wardrobe with the other unworn clothes.

It will take time but you will both overcome this..it has taken time to build up the debt and it will take time to reduce it.

taxi73

It'sprobably good that her parents know now.It will probably be strained at dinner but you never know they may have a good solution.
I think it's a good idea paying a card off with the mortgage holiday because at least they may give you another offer so that you can BT to it.
I hope lunch goes ok and 4 heads may be better than 1 .

amersall

wishing you luck for today, i hope her parents see sense and get their daughter to stand up and be counted. them helping you out is only a temporary measure,unless they are rolling in it and dont want daughter to suffer!!! just hope they dont gang up on you and take sides. i couldnt stand by and watch my hubby get in a state with trying to pay everything. when the solution would be me getting a job, i for one would gladly do it, fingers crossed for you xxx

basmic

RobertoMoir wrote: »

How is that helpful? Or did you just want an excuse to publish a daily fail scare piece?

Which part of my post suggested that it could be in anyway helpful? :rotfl:

My point was, which I've probably gone about the wrong of putting it, that I can't help but feel there are far too many woman who feel they should sit at home while the rest of the universe owes them a living.

I am not saying every mother is like this. But I can't help get that "I'll spread my legs, you will support me for the rest of my life" feeling from some women these days.

OP, I am not saying your missus is like this. But I certainly get the impression that she is a lady of leisure, using the kid/s as an excuse to stop at home. Funny how she wants another one... .

daviesalie_2

daviesalie wrote: »

I'm not sure if this would work for you, but its worth a look:-

http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx

My fear of you paying off the overdraft is the temptation to build it back up again when things are still very tight. Whereas, if you paid off a card(s) it would be done n dusted.

Good luck with the in-laws today

Unless of course your overdraft interest per month is more than you'd save by paying off a card. I'd then recommend that as soon as the od is paid off, you cancel the od facility immediately (don't do what I did which was pay off my OD with a loan then build it back up to over £3k again).

You haven't put any OD interest on your SOA - if its 0% then I'd definitely opt for paying off a card as the OD isn't costing you anything and you won't be increasing any available cash. Also as long as the card you pay off is destroyed there much less temptation too.