Cant afford my wife anymore

redstararnie76

Hi,
Just wanted to add the obvious - a marriage is a partnership; ie you do it together, whether it's children, finances or moral support.
You are not being fair to your wife, if you don't discuss the finances with her and have a budget, she won't know how bad things are, and can't make sensible, balanced decisions.
My husband and I buried our heads in the sand, and only relatively recently dealt with our situation. We are now firmly united in saving money whereever possible.
I was worried how much money we were frittering away, so I started the process, like you, with a SOA. I then showed it to my husband and it showed in black and white why I was worried, there was no way he could question it becuase it clearly showed how much we were spending above our income. I got him to think of ways that we could cut back and between us we have become fairly obsessed with sorting our finances out.
You can't do it on your own, your wife has to be on board too. Once she is, there are loads of ways of coping and substituting cheaper treater treats - I love my local college's beauty department! But you're not helping by anticipating how she'll react - give her a chance.

BILLIE

Bit worried that Enabler has not been on since last night!! Anyone heard from him? Billie xx

debtdesperado

NB you don't even need to go as drastic as cut everything out or do your hair at home... even leaving an extra month between highlights, having a half-head instead of a full head, or having nails done every 5 weeks instead of 4 and not having extras will start to reduce the bills.

I used to go to a salon where they openly admitted that most of their business came from being the nearest salon to the local hairdressing college so they did loads of colour/cut corrections. In fact, that was how I found them :-) so now, professional hairdressing is a necessity, although am currently sitting here with two inch dark roots which are driving me mad...

OrkneyStar

enabler wrote: »

feel sick - I hadno idea that we were overspending like this

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2460
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 135
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2595
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 1255
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 148
Electricity............................. 85
Gas..................................... 60
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 45
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 85 Far too much!
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 85 Cut to basic package or ideally not at all!
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 500 Half this amount would be more than enough for a family you size- WHAT are you buying with this ?
Clothing................................ 150 Reduce this to £50 max, buy only for child just now, and replace only if needed!
Petrol/diesel........................... 200 Is this a commute ?
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 35
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 30
Car parking............................. 20
Other travel............................ 25
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 100 Like what ?
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 20
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 18
Contents insurance...................... 18
Life assurance ......................... 45
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 100 Half this!
Haircuts................................ 60 Are you serious ? Who is this for ?
Entertainment........................... 60 Reduce to £50, especially with the child expenses at £150 as well ? (unless they are child care ?)
Holiday................................. 150
Emergency fund.......................... 0
(Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
(Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
gym memebership......................... 45
beauty treatments....................... 50 For heavens sake- who is this for ?
Total monthly expenses.................. 3401

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 225000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 5000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 230000

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 260000...(1255).....5.79
Total secured & HP debts...... 260000....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Sainsburys Loan................18000.....251.......0
Egg credit card................3800......110.......0
Capital One CC.................1800......60........0
Sainsburys cc..................4500......219.......0
Total unsecured debts..........28100.....640.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,595
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 3,401
Available for debt repayments........... -806
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 640
Amount short for making debt repayments. -1,446
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 230,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -260,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -28,100
Net Assets.............................. -58,100

Comments added, it looks like you are over-spending in a lot of areas? Who is doing this spending ?

tyllwyd

I was pretty shocked at your mortgage payment - we've got a mortgage of a similar amount, my OH earns a similar amount to you, and if I didn't work as well we'd be in big trouble. As it is, things are tight enough.

Unless you are able to get a second income, I think the house is the main thing to sort out - saving £60 on a haircut is not going to make much of a dent in your debts. Have you actully looked at the possibility of selling and had a recent valuation? If you aren't in negative equity, downsizing would be an obvious option. Or how about renting out the house you are in, and you renting somewhere smaller - it may not be viable, but it might be worth looking at.

Swampmonster

BILLIE wrote: »

Bit worried that Enabler has not been on since last night!! Anyone heard from him? Billie xx

Bumped. Hoping you're OK X

Sam1984

Hope all is ok?!

vaporate

Other posters have given great advice here.

My post will mirror othere here where, cruel to be kind, come clean, stop spending, and once the cards are paid off, cut them up and stick within the daily budget.

I would forget holiday and gym money by the way, if not already said.

Poosmate

Maybe he's having the conversation right now as we type? I hope so because it sounds like it's long overdue!

Good luck Enabler and come back soon

Poo

ladybez

Enabler, hope everything is ok. Have you managed to speak to your wife yet?