1st baby on the way and MIL's smoking

codwidow

I have two small kids and I wouldnt want anyone touching them after they had a fag when they were babes, this included my husband as well, its well known know that even about 20 minutes after you still have revolting stench and toxins on your clothes/breath whatever.

Years ago people didnt know this, fair enough my mum used to sit me on her lap with a fag constantly hanging out of her mouth, 30 years ago, times have moved on and people know fags or smoke and small kids dont mix, theres no excuse, its just selfish.

I dont think your being unreasonable. I would say exactly the same to anyone if I had another baby tomorrow.

Newborns are precious things, they shouldnt have to put up with other peoples rank habits.

I used to smoke like a chimney myself and I support anyones right to smoke but not before handling small kids or around kids in general, they deserve better, stick to your guns. If she cant refrain for the amount of time she spends with her grandchild then there is something wrong really, surely thats more important than a fag

*Louise*

codwidow wrote: »

Years ago people didnt know this, fair enough my mum used to sit me on her lap with a fag constantly hanging out of her mouth, 30 years ago, times have moved on and people know fags or smoke and small kids dont mix, theres no excuse, its just selfish.

That's exactly it, it's a generation thing. MIL's are a little older and because it wasn't a major issue when they had their children, they now tend to think DIL's are over reacting.

MY MIL never saw why I had a problem...... she would put her (tobacco stained!) fingers in my DS's mouth to soothe him, or suck his dummy if it fell (I don't even do that and I've never smoked).......and she wondered why I had a problem!!!:mad:

She never got to babysit the little ones unattended...gawd knows what other habits she would have inflicted....:o

Thing is, if she had accepted I had a problem and said she understood my concerns, then we would never have had a problem, because I would have trusted her to accept that I was bringing up my children differently. But when you get 'oh I smoked and my kids are fine' 'you molly-coddle him too much' 'he's immune to family germs(re. the dummy!)' etc etc the trust just goes.

jemw

Hi Everyone

Well, I can safely say that this is my most responded to post, EVER :rotfl:

Having read through all of the replies, I would like to say thanks for responding. I know I seem to have caused a bit of a debate, and some of you think we are being OTT and ridiculous, but to be honest, I don't care

At the end of the day, I know that we cannot prevent every single little thing that could or would potentially harm the little one. However, I feel it's only right that we do something about things that we can?! If you don't understand that, then, so be it!

I stand by our opinion that we don't want people to smoke a cigarette and then immediately handle the baby. I'm not saying that they should shower, disinfect themselves and change their clothes, but simple hand washing and waiting a few moments surely won't hurt them.

I also now feel (after an OP's suggestion) that we will wait until baby is here and deal with it on an ad hoc basis, rather than discuss this up front and make a big deal out of it. Whilst I am sure MIL hasn't given this a second thought, we will give her the benefit of the doubt!

Thanks again
Jemw

*Louise*

jemw wrote: »

I also now feel (after an OP's suggestion) that we will wait until baby is here and deal with it on an ad hoc basis, rather than discuss this up front and make a big deal out of it. Whilst I am sure MIL hasn't given this a second thought, we will give her the benefit of the doubt!

That sounds like a sensible decision to make.:T