1st baby on the way and MIL's smoking

Liquorice_Twirls

Have you seen this article about 3rd hand smoke:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1249591/Even-hand-smoke-dangerous--especially-children.html

savingmummy

I dont allow anyone to smoke near my 2 and they are 2 and 4!!
I will be the same when they are 12 and 14 lol!

I told people my views before baby no1 arrived and it has stuck. My dad is the only `close family member` who is a smoker and he waits until we go, he never smokes when we are there but he dont smoke indoors as mum is asthmatic.

My youngest was born with a lung infection and i was told by scbu team that it is very common in the first few weeks of birth due to visitors smoking or bringing fumes in (obviously not in our case) This certainly made me think more about smokers especially after seeing my newborn gasping for breathe and being whisked away in a incubator x

*Louise*

I had this problem with my MIL. She would never understand why she shouldn't smoke around my children. It came to a head when she babysat our boys (while we moved house) and OH went back early and found she had been smoking in the house with them. Needless to say we never trusted her after that and the kids didn't stay.

Thankfully she gave up 3 months ago, which is great, we are just hoping she can keep it up and we are giving lots of encouragement. It's lovely to be able to visit and not have to rush home and bath and change everyone because of the stench - we visit more frequently now

OP I think a mother has every right to state how she wants her children raised, and you shouldn't feel as though you have to apologise for it. I would advise that you are upfront and honest about your feelings from the start. Maybe have a leaflet to habd in case she doesn't believe the facts.

*Louise*

Incidentally I knew of a child who sufered from chronic asthma and the parents smoked like chimneys in the house. The child died from a massive asthma attack.

Another sibling suffers from the same and the parents still smoke in the house.

Go figure.


Much better to be over-protective than under protective imo.

seven-day-weekend

i thought initially that people were being over the top with the teeth-cleaning and smoking coat thing, but have since revised my thoughts.

A friend of mine smokes like a chimney. She stinks of smoke and so does her house (and you can see the smoke in the air). There is no way I would take any grandchild I might have into her house. The atmosphere in there makes me cough and my eyes water, so what will it be like with a tiny baby? Also I come back reeking after visiting her.

But would her holding the child in my house matter? I'm not sure, although on occasions when she has been in my house, the stink of smoke has been left behind (although she does not smoke in our house). I suppose this smell must be containing all the pollutants and chemicals that cause the smell. So who knows? Maybe the teeth cleaning and smokng coat are a good idea.

However, I think things must be very tactfully done with grandma. It's a wonderful thing to have grandparents and it would be a shame to cut her out altogether.

(Agree with Gingham Ribbon about her 'nasty remarks'. A distressed and unhappy woman.)

viktory

Molly41 wrote: »

Its ok for you to choose to smoke but never for your baby

What makes you think I smoke?

Teenie_D

I'm with the OP on this one-not necessarily from the health point of you-I don't know enough about third hand smoke- but personally I wouldn't want someone having just had a cigarette to come in and breath all over my face and kiss me! We have a friend who smokes and although he doesn't smoke around his children, I will never forget the time he had just been out for a fag came in and picked up his DD, who was just a few weeks old, and started speaking to her-you could see her recoiling, obviously from the smell.

warehouse

geri1965 wrote: »

I don't smoke myself, but I think you are being completely over the top. I assume she smoked when your OH was a baby and he is OK?

I think it's reasonable not to smoke when children are around but if people want to smoke in their own houses and in between courses in a restaurant, that is up to them.

Having said that it's our baby and if you don't want her looking after it, that is up to you. Be prepared for upset if you tell her this though.

This above post is spot on. You're totally over-reacting. Smoking by the baby is a massive no-no, but this is simply the smell of smoke, absolutely no worse for the baby than the smell of burnt toast.

Putting a baby in the car is 1000 times more dangerous than someone who smokes outside then comes in handling the baby, yet you'll have no problem doing that. Relax about it rather than cause a family rift over absolutely nothing.

bellrooster

I was concerned about the same thing op when I was pregnant, my mum smoked something like 40 - 60 a day :eek:. I've got athsma and although there is no proof, breathing in that much second hand smoke whilst growing up more than likely has something to do with it.

Anyhow, I didn't want my daughter exposed to any smoke, first second or third hand and I was very vocal about it during my pregnancy and my mum decided to quit.

She still smokes now, but only a couple a day and she'll have them outside (even though I don't live with her, we only visit) and if she has one before my daughter and I are due to visit she will change clothes and have a shower.

It's not OTT to feel this way, as a mother you can't help but do anything you can to protect your child, and if you don't want to expose them to smoke, then don't!

McKneff

Errata wrote: »

Unfortunately things aren't as simple as asking a smoker to wash their hands, face, suck a mint before they get close to a new born baby. If a smoker breathes into a clean white handkerchief an hour after they've had a cigarette a brown deposit will be left on it. That's what they will constantly be breathing out when they are near a baby.

what an absolute load of total rubbish this post is.
Whoever told you that must have been laughing behind their hand
thinking that you were so naive to believe such tosh.