Quick poll

trickster

Unfortunately my mistake was telling them how I felt over dinner. Ended up sleeping in the car!

Butterfly_Brain

We were opposite our in-laws , DH Grandparents lived next door but one, DH's Aunt and Uncle over the road and his sister also over the road and my mother on the same road but 20 houses up! for 5 years before we bought a bigger house.
It was nice to have everyone around us when we were struggling buying our first house and also when I was seriously ill with septicaemia after having DS and was in hospital for 3 months and couldn't have DS with me because I was too poorly - Everyone helped DH look after a 4 year old and a new baby, he had no worries about housework, washing or cooking even the company he worked for paid him for 12 weeks emergency leave - not many companies would do that nowadays would they!

kindofagilr

pusscat wrote: »

My MIL lives a few doors away - so no it is not unusual for me!

She is elderly and widowed and needs people on hand to help her out -for us it works well. It is far easier than having to travel every weekend to sort out the things she needs.

You have to have rules and boundaries - I have keys to her house but would never let myself in unless I thought she was in difficulty. She comes for dinner on some evenings - but only by invitation.

We have found it works quite well - but it depends on your circumstances I suppose.

Puss
xx

Yeah exactly, we have keys too all the houses and MIL and FIL and keys to ours but we dont just let ourselves in

angelicmary85

Crab wrote: »

but to have them on hand for babysitting would be great.

I don't want to start an arguement but why would you assume that they'd be happy to babysit for you at the drop of a hat?

Do you not think it's fair to assume that they'll want to look after your child whenever you want some 'me time' or have to go to a doc's appointment or whatever?

daniel_owen_uk

MIL lives about 5 minutes walk away, it's great, it's just far enough so that she calls before dropping in, but close enough for her to help out (or us to help her).

Over the road would be too close imo.

*Louise*

I refused to buy a house in the same town as OH' parents when we bought our first place. It all depends on they type of MIL you have, a lot wouldn't bother, but I knew with having a new grandson we would never get rid of his mum!!

And she would be offering to do his ironing and cooking and stuff. twelve years later she still doesn't believe I can cook/bake.

So I guess it's not 'odd'...but it just wouldn't be suitable for some people.

And I certainly wouldn't be giving them the spare key!!

sparrer

50/50 here. Spent a couple of years living in a house converted into 2 flats so lived 'with' first mil, a rather demanding, bossy but 'poor little girl me' type when she couldn't get what she wanted. Second mil was amazing but she lived 200 miles away. Would have loved her as a neighbour.
My own mum and I get on in small doses, she's 80 miles away, close enough thank you! I'd hate to live on my children's doorsteps, one 9 miles which is ideal for all of us, one 250 miles...sadly just too far for me to enjoy the g/children or to be of any use.

whiteguineapig

ifonlyitwaseasier wrote: »

have you not seen "everybody loves raymond" ???????????????

this was my immediate thought as well!!

lostinrates

We moved in with my parents for various reasons, and now they want to move on with us, either into an annexe, or a nearby house, or one in each....

luckily DH and they get on really, really well...but its not so odd really, up until relatively recent history it was fairly normal to remain with or near extended family. we have close friends in Sicily who live in apartment block, their mother on the first floor, her children and their families in flats above...and the family business on the ground floor....it means the children are surrounded by people their parents can trust and baby sitting etc is easy, there is help for Nonna when she is ill/tired....

Crab

angelicmary85 wrote: »

I don't want to start an arguement but why would you assume that they'd be happy to babysit for you at the drop of a hat?

Do you not think it's fair to assume that they'll want to look after your child whenever you want some 'me time' or have to go to a doc's appointment or whatever?

What made you assume I'd assumed anything!? They've made it very clear they'd be over the moon when my husband and I had a baby, and would definitely want lots of involvement - as much as we'd let them/other responsibilites permit. They already have grandchildren, and utterly dote on them, and would have them as much as the parents allowed! It's usually the parents that say to granny: can we have our children back, please!!! MIL is the kind of lady that would get as much out of having her grandchildren around as we would having the break, probably more.
Same goes for my mum, though this will be her first grandchild, but she has been saying for YEARS that she wants to be a hands-on granny!

And I never said it would be at the drop of a hat - it would be by prior arrangement, and only at the drop of a hat in an absolute emergency. Hubby and I are homebodies though, and don't tend to go out partying much anymore, so I think the babysitting option would mostly apply when we need a few extra hours sleep or something!

Likewise, having them closer would be easier for when we need to help them out too. Works both ways.