Coping with peoples scorn

SavvyStudent_2

This might sound the opposite but I find a lot of my fancy friends are actually *relieved* by my frugal ways. I love them to bits, we all work together doing the same job, so I know *exactly* how much they bring in. However, whereas OH and I are very sensible / frugal trying to make the best of what we have for as little as possible and put some money aside (not tight though!!), they all spend a *lot*(think designer sunglasses, bags etc) and throw away money like its burning a hole in their pockets, ending up at the bottom of the overdraft every month (one has just had hers removed with a months notice, but that's another story..!).

They'd all rather die than be seen in charity shops / savers etc with me, but I think the way I am takes a lot of the pressure off them to be seen to be always spending if that makes sense? I make it cute, kitsch and shabby chic to live within my means, not miserly, and have no problem whatsoever trailing myself round John Lewis etc with them providing a voice of reason lol. I'm proud and they know it!

Whatsmore, every single one of them enjoys a good night round at our ramshackle little flat (where *nothing* matches!) with 3 for £10 plonk and HM goodies by the fire though My friend B says its her favourite place! x

lostinrates

Well, I do really like some very expensive things. But I recognise unlike a chicken, money isn't ''rubber''. I'm very lucky that its my wants rather than my needs that had me seek areas to be frugal in, and luckier still that most of our friends, richer than us, poorer than us, have expressed very little comment about it.

The comment my ''voice of reason'' made me smile: I stumbled into MSE asking for house buying/mortgage advice. Having saved hard we wanted to maximise our borrowing and buy, buy, buy.

hree years later, including he last year where our spending has actually relaxed a bit, we are buying a house that's going to force us to remain somewhat old style...central heating, no but it does have a woodburner! The house we are buying is one we couldn't have dreamed about three years ago, even with the not inconsiderable savings we'd built up.

Frugality to me allows extravagance in other areas: which echoes DH's and my personalities. I don't expect everyone to want to live the way we live, but I don't really want to live like most other people either.

BitterAndTwisted

LIR you'd better get out scouring the countryside for twigs and logs for that woodburner.

lostinrates

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

LIR you'd better get out scouring the countryside for twigs and logs for that woodburner.

I've got a couple of collapsing out building s to go on the wodburner. The wood was left for us to repair them, but its totally rotten.

Something we have to hire or maybe buy, is a chain saw. There are a lot of unkempt trees that need to come down :( (I'm going to feel like a murderer) but then they can season for a few years and we'll be warm again in 2013 There will be lots of trees left, but there won't be anything to eat if we don't get some sun into the garden.

Owain_Moneysaver

carefullycautious wrote: »

I feel that I am blessed with all that I need, can take holidays in this country when I like, run a car which is paid for, go to the theatre etc

Exactly. The look on a former colleague's face when I said that if my job came to an end it wasn't the end of the world as I had 6 months rent in the savings account was priceless.

Although sometimes I wonder if taking a thermos from the work hot tap home with me to do the washing-up is taking frugality a bit too far.

ceridwen

Maybe I'm odd:cool: - but very few people I know bat an eyelid about me being "cautious" with money. In my case though - my parents and my friends have long since learnt not to bat an eyelid about the way I buy good quality food on the one hand - but spend very little on other things on the other hand.

So - I guess it depends on who you know actually...

- the others who might comment on how little I spend on non-food items soon "have their mouths stopped" with homemade goodies - at which point they seem to start changing their minds a bit:rotfl:

So - I've found that, after a while, people stop commenting on how little I spend on non-food items and just keep grabbing any food items I offer them very quickly....

...and I just dont worry myself either way.

Downsizing__for_sanity

Hear hear! I'm smiling as I read this, eating my lovely thin crust artichoke and parma ham pizza - home made of course! And drinking a spritzer of HM elderflower champagne (from last year - thought I'd better taste it before it exploded!) and soda. I have to say, seeing the first eggs laid by my 4 new hens this week beat the thrill of buying any shoes ever!

I agree that OS is fun creatively and I love that it allows me to have the nice things I like such as parma ham and fresh berries on my cereal, but I make most of our cakes, biscuits, pizzas etc from scratch saving a fortune. And my pizza tonight was gorgeous and free, made from bits I already had in the fridge and freezer, much nicer than a ? £4.99 T*sco Finest one!

Downsizing x

(PS - the clue is in the name - left a very well paid job down south in order to be a mum and live in the same house as my husband. Surprisingly we now seem to have MORE disposable income!)

charlies-aunt

I'm a old old-styler ....and in my youth, it was considered frighfully common to comment on other peoples clothes, possessions or lifestyle ...nowadays its just plain rude

The upper Upper Classes & Aristocrats all lead very frugal lifestyles because throwing your money about is still seen as very Noveau Riche and vulgar. Clothes, shoes, jewellery are handed down through the family.- buying anything new is a carefully considered investment - they will pay mega bucks but it has to last & last - they certainly get their moneys worth out of everything. The toffs aren't ashamed to wander round their vast mansions and country estates in grandfathers tweed suit and a threadbare coat

To pass comment on someone else's finances was a social faux pas but to openly brag about how much you spend on a car/dress/shoes was beyond the pale!

....if its good enough for them...its good enough for working class me... I would be inclined to respond to any snide comments about my frugal lifestyle with silence and a distainful look !!

katieclampet

This is an interesting thread. I love the idea of "living below my means". I am os in that I dont like waste, recycle wherever possible, live in a fairly frugal manner, love charity shops, carboot sales and ebay, and love a bargain or freebie!:) I am not mean, and enjoy being able to treat or help out my family. My savings allow me to travel which is my passion.

I am fortunate in that my friends and family are more or less the type of people that are admiring (rather than scornful) about a money saver/os life style. If someone I don't know well asks personal questions about my finances or shopping habits, I usually look vague and act a bit unsure.

Each to there own, and if you are happy with your life style choices, good for you. No need to explain your self!

katiex

MrsE_2

carefullycautious wrote: »

How do people cope with others who do not 'get' money saving, frugality etc.
How do all you peeps get on

My DD hardly drinks, rarely.

At her work they like to go out for team lunches & team early dinners. They order lots of wine & like to split the bill equally.

Her & a friend of hers are the two "junior" ones in the team, so don't earn as much as the others, BUT more importantly as they drink a diet coke each they refuse to pay towards umpteen bottles of wine.
So they pay for what they've had & incur the wrath of the others...

They think my daughter & her friend are tight not to chip in.........

I think they are free loaders expecting others to fund them;)

OP, I'm not great with money, I still have stuff to learn, but how you conduct your finances is your business so long as you fund your own lifestyle - which you do.