Coping with peoples scorn

carefullycautious

How do people cope with others who do not 'get' money saving, frugality etc.

I have lived with many comments ranging from;

You cant take 'it' with you
Cant stand tight people
Bizarre for living the way I do
etc etc etc

It seems an uphill battle to explain to others why I would rather live within my means and be financially comfortable than do all the keeping up with the jones.

I feel that I am blessed with all that I need, can take holidays in this country when I like, run a car which is paid for, go to the theatre etc

I just dont understand what other people think I am missing out on

I think My problem is that I dont know what answer to give when people question my lifestyle and anyway why should I have to explain myself.

How do all you peeps get on

Fire_Fox

Maybe you could simply say "that isn't a very nice thing to say" or simply smile sweetly and say nothing? Some of what I do is to keep me out of debt some is to be more considerate of the environment; if someone questions in a pleasant manner I do tailor my response to whichever angle I think they will understand. However I don't feel the need to justify myself to all comers, the people that matter support me and hopefully it is the same for you.

conradmum

carefullycautious wrote: »

How do people cope with others who do not 'get' money saving, frugality etc.

I have lived with many comments ranging from;

You cant take 'it' with you
Cant stand tight people
Bizarre for living the way I do
etc etc etc

It seems an uphill battle to explain to others why I would rather live within my means and be financially comfortable than do all the keeping up with the jones.

I feel that I am blessed with all that I need, can take holidays in this country when I like, run a car which is paid for, go to the theatre etc

I just dont understand what other people think I am missing out on

I think My problem is that I dont know what answer to give when people question my lifestyle and anyway why should I have to explain myself.

How do all you peeps get on

Maybe you should tell them something along these lines?

Pitlanepiglet

I don't feel the need to justify myself either but TBH I don't get comments like that, certainly not to my face!

BUT I don't regard being Old Style or Thrifty as an excuse for being tight. I have a friend who is famously the first out the taxi and the last to the bar and I find that really irritating! I have other friends where we swap skills and produce and everyone is happy.

So if you are just thrifty and OS then continue what you are doing and be proud of it...if you think that on honest reflection it might be more than that then it's perhaps time for a rethink.

Caterina

I think that you will find that most of us here have had to face similar comments at one time or another. I suppose after a while you get used to it, your acquaintances get used to your frugal ways and things settle.

I don't always talk about my OS practice because I am fed up of just that sort of ignorant comments. You might find that as time goes you will surround yourself more with people who think on your lines and also with people who, even if differing in opinions, are respectful of your lifestyle, thoughts and feelings.

The others drop off as you go along in life, or occasionally you might have to cull the persistent offenders (not LITERALLY, I mean, just drop them off forcibly if they follow you around cricitising you and telling you how to live your life). Nobody needs toxic friends!

Good luck in your frugal lifestyle, ignore the stupids, it is their loss if they don't "get" OS!

diluvsdiscounts

You sound to be in very similar circumstances to me. Although thankfully I have no debt now that hasn't always been the case but now I keep up my frugal ways so to speak to keep myself debt free. If others disagree with my ways I don't care because as fire fox said the people who matter support and understand me and who cares about others opinions.
My opinion of them is that they are probably a tiny bit jelous of our debt free lifestyle but can't "be bothered" to put the effort in to have a go themselves.
I was self employed for 10 years and I would be lying if I said there are never times I missed the money but I now work part time for someone else and the life I have now money can't buy(stress free with no worries) but as you said carefullycautious we have two cars that are paid for, we have holidays every year and people do pass comments on they don't know how we do it well I have told each and every one of them about this site so if they don't have a go themselves more fool them.
In answer to your question carefullycautious I don't think I would give them an explanation!!

Nargleblast

Why do you need to explain anything? Are you tight and mean when it comes to paying your share on a night out, or buying Christmas or birthday presents? Probably not, as you say you go to the theatre and take holidays in this country (which can be as expensive as going abroad sometimes). If the questioner narks you enough you can always say "at least I'm not living on the never-never, up to my eyeballs in debt, and what I have is my own, paid for outright." Otherwise just smile and let it be like water off a duck's back. Let others frantically bash the plastic trying to keep up with the Jones's whilst you enjoy your comfortable life. I wish I had been as sensible as you and not got myself in a horrendous amount of debt, but hopefully it will all be paid off one day and I can start to enjoy life again!

Penelope_Penguin

Why is it anyone else's business what you spend (or save) your money on? I don;t question why people have just bought a brand new car, or foreign holiday, or private education, so don't see why they should ask me why I live within my means and save

Just don't discuss it with people.

My friends happen to think that I'm quaintly eccentric, and like me for it, so I cultivate that I'm truly not bothered what aquaintances or strangers think, and neither should you.

Souk08

[QUOTE quaintly eccentric,.[/QUOTE]

What a lovely phrase Penelope! I have two mates who go food shoping every day and spend an ABSOLUTE FORTUNE on carrpy food. When I told them about how I meal plan one of them said 'But that's boring'. I told him what was boring was eating pizza, chips or kebab every day! They continue to spend loads on food and I don't and it's that simple. I'm not tight with mates tho and always pay my share. I'm only OS so that I have cash to spare for the fun stuff and it's worked for me. Told them yesterday that I was going to do a £40 food budget next month and they ignored the comment. I DREAD TO THINK what they spend in a month.

Chipps

Really, there is no reason for you to have to explain yourself. Frankly it's none of their business.

It might be different if you were constantly scrounging off of them, not paying your way but expecting them to subsidise you, or continually telling them you can't afford such-and-such. Maybe then they would have reason to query.

But as I am assuming that this is not the case, and you are just wanting to enjoy living within your means, why shouldn't you be able to do that in peace?

If people are talking about things they do that I can't afford (or perhaps choose not to spend any money on) I listen & say that's nice or whatever is appropriate, but don't say that I can't afford it. Sometimes I think people feel the need to justify their own extravagance & when they feel defensive are likely to react by attacking instead.

So carry on & enjoy life. And don't waste the OS hints & tips on those who won't appreciate them - put them on here!!! Finding the MSE OS board was a real encouragement for me - I finally found out that there are other people as [STRIKE]daft[/STRIKE]frugal as me in the world!

ejbg2001

You could always try "So you don't believe in saving the planet/money/time (delete where appropriate)?"

That way you put THEM on the spot and make them explain the way they live, as opposed to expecting you to defend your lifestyle choices. It either opens up an interesting debate, or people get huffy as they can't/won't defend themselves and leave you alone.

ofc this is only if they aren't asking politely and just want to be beatchy lol