Coping with peoples scorn

lilac_lady

I hate debt and can't understand why some people seem to think that purchasing on a credit card means that the goods are free. However, I'm not mean and have a low opinion of people who take advantage of other people financially because they don't want to pay their share.

I buy good food because I can afford it but am not a handbags and gladrags type at all so everything balances out the way I want to live my life.

I had a conversation with a workmate a few years ago and she said that "surely everybody has an overdraft". I don't think she believed me when I said that I'd never had one.

meanmarie

As a child the two things I remember wanting most was a 'shop' cake and 'bought' cardigan....I have improved and now want neither of those things!

People who lash money around and are up to their eyes in debt are to be pitied and I think that most of their snide comments are made because they have very little self confidence and have a need to be accepted....as Hester said way back at the beginning of this thread....those who matter don't care and those who care don't matter.

My response to people who remark on my refusal to waste money are treated to some kind of flippant remark agreeing with them....this gives them nowhere to go and is really telling them to mind their own business. IMHO it is very rude to comment on peoples spending habits...I can remember being horrified on my first visit to US when someone asked me how much I made in the year and I consider personal remarks to be just as bad.

Marie

esmf73

I'm currently living in a very afluent area - and despite the fact that we (on paper) have the "cash to flash" as it were, I shop in charity shops, OOpps sections of the supermarket and thrift shops. Reason I do this is because I don't think that we need new things, so much nicer to have something already broken in. Have got two brilliant bargains this year though - a lovely coat for £20 (wool and a very expensive brand) and then another lighter one for £22 (wool and Jaeger!) both from charity shops. Always look there first!! And proud of it x

Also it means that I can splash out when I need to - like when family turn up unannounced for the weekend - wish me luck!

MrsE_2

meanmarie wrote: »

People who lash money around and are up to their eyes in debt are to be pitied and I think that most of their snide comments are made because they have very little self confidence and have a need to be accepted....as Hester said way back at the beginning of this thread....those who matter don't care and those who care don't matter.

My response to people who remark on my refusal to waste money are treated to some kind of flippant remark agreeing with them....this gives them nowhere to go and is really telling them to mind their own business. IMHO it is very rude to comment on peoples spending habits...I can remember being horrified on my first visit to US when someone asked me how much I made in the year and I consider personal remarks to be just as bad.

Marie

Aren't you being judgemental & doesn't that make you as bad as them?

In my opinion peoples spending habits are their own business so long as they fund them & don't expect others too.

Its rude to think someone thrifty is a miser but its also rude too think a spender is in debt, to be pitied or lacking self confidence.

SailorSam

I think back to when money was more important to me than it is now, Now i describe myself as a reformed workaholic who has learnt the true value of money and the value of life, And i think i'm happier now i have less money but more life.

rosieben

Years ago I was earning a lot of money and I got sucked into the 'must have the latest this, that and the other' mentality. Thank goodness I grew up and out of that and found my way to living much more simply and happily.

OS is a state of mind

Primrose

I think that once we get the imminent Austerity Budget from the new government, most households in the country will find that they're having to nick and tuck their domestic budgets in some way or other as the inevitable measures bite. Those of us who have already adopted thrifty and frugal ways of living will be far better able to cope. Many of those who in the past didn't worry about their expenditure and laughed about Old Style ways will suddenly find themselves looking in charity shops, inspecting the "Whoopsie", supermarket shelves more closely, and cutting back on their regular nights out and takeaways. Just smile when you catch them at it and mutter loudly "Ah, I see you're having a Damascus moment".:rotfl:

The_Thrilla

We were careful with our money even when we bought our house. We moved into an area that is often hit hard with unemployment, so our house was good value for money, and the mortgage was redeemed very quickly. The result is that we do not live among people who look down on frugality, because these folk have had to face up to hard times themselves.

I only had one neighbour who thought it odd that I allow my front garden to be overgrown, and their curtains twitch in late summer, as I wander round my overgrown garden picking the blackberries. Sometimes I even - shock, horror - take one off the bush and put it in my mouth. Well, one day I saw them erecting one of those fake wishing wells in their front garden. I pointed at it and said: "Ah! There's nothing like freshly-drawn water." After that, their snide remarks ceased.

I think it is a class thing, because I have observed that with the upper-middle classes and upwards, frugality is very fashionable. I was buying a life assurance policy once off a guy who owned a castle in Cumberland. I couldn't help noticing the darns in his blue pinstripe suit. I have also received an upper class Christmas present, which was a cover for a paperback book, which I suspect was made out of an old pair of corduroy trousers. And look at the late Allen Clarke ribbing Michael Heseltine. ("Ha, ha, ha! He bought his furniture!")

I also have looked at the size of people's weekly shopping at the supermarket. I am under £10, but the people in front of me are in three figures. I cannot believe that it is I who is in the wrong here.

OK, so I buy some of my clothes in a charity shop. But by buying there, I AM SUPPORTING THAT CHARITY. And I know what to buy. All my suits are made of natural fibres. Some charity shops also sell their silk ties at the same price as the polyester ones. I have a library of first editions that were picked up in charity shops and at car boot sales. I have a house full of antique furniture, and I sleep in an 18th century mahogany bed. If someone in a suit made out of laminated cow dung, a polyester tie, who sleeps in a chipboard bed, wants to look down on me, let him. But who's looking down on whom?

anguk

I really couldn't care what people think about me, I do what I like and they can do what they like. Personally I'll cut back and spend little on some things so I can splash out on things I like. I'm not bothered about designer clothes, lcd tvs etc. but I do like nice food so will spend more on that.

I have noticed though that it seems to be those with the least that shout the loudest about what they've got and how much they've spent. I realise this is a generalisation but it's just what I've noticed and it reminds me of one of my late MIL's favourite sayings "all fur coat and no knickers"! :rotfl:

helzbelz_57

i havent read the whole thread but just wanted to agree with OP.

my mum and dad both worked extremely hard to build up what they have. they are now financially secure and have extra money for weekend breaks. they didn't have children for the first 10 years of their marriage whereas we have 2 small boys and are renting so trying very hard to save for a deposit.

my mother is constantly criticising me for being 'tight'. telling me i need to enjoy life and a house will come eventually.

i totally undertsand why she says this and she is right that we do need to have leisure time aswell as work and save. but i honestly dont know how to get her to see that if we did simply spend as she did, we would never have a house and financial security for our children.

one of her favourite things to say is "dont make money your God".

it really isn't, we are just making a very committed effort to raise our deposit. but she cant understand this because she can spend as and when she pleases.