Were looing to offer a house share for a single mother and her daughter

Errata

The saddest thing about all this for me is that the godmother wants some hard cash for helping out her god daughter who will become homeless with the mother.

viktory

Being brutally honest, the whole idea stinks to me and gives me the creeps.

GEORGYPORGY

Some of you guys would do well to look at the programe currently being shown on more-4 called "kimberly young mum", some of the attitudes being proudly displayed on this forum are specifically the reason why people like her turn out like they do! And as for mr vader123, i bet your mummy would be proud of you, were you the prefect at school that nobody liked, i could think of some much stronger language i would like to use but this is supposed to be a help site with a certain decorum so i wont, but you can report who you like for whatever you like , however, this is all hypothetical your just wasting peoples time, your not an m.p. Are you?

missmontana

thistledome wrote: »

At last someone who can disagree with OP's idea without rudeness and nasty (and uncalled for) insinuations.

Some of the spiteful people on this thread should be ashamed of themselves.

thanks for that, you may all have your own opinions on what is right and wrong but unless you have been in that situation it really is hard to offer advice.

Golden_Anemone wrote: »

How will you and your wife feel OP when the 21 year old wants to bring boyfriends home? Where will her daughter sleep when they are having sex?

Surely they'd be better off in the privacy of their own 2 bedroom home so they can lead normal lives.

that was another point I was going to make! It would almost be like living at home.... and as for that, where are this young womans parents/family whilst all this is going on? And the baby's father?

Oldernotwiser

GEORGYPORGY wrote: »

Some of you guys would do well to look at the programe currently being shown on more-4 called "kimberly young mum", some of the attitudes being proudly displayed on this forum are specifically the reason why people like her turn out like they do!

I can't see what anyone could object to in enabling a young mother to make a secure home for herself and her baby as opposed to luring her into some quasi legal situation where she's in the power of non family with somewhat dubious motives.

GEORGYPORGY

missmontana wrote: »

thanks for that, you may all have your own opinions on what is right and wrong but unless you have been in that situation it really is hard to offer advice.



that was another point I was going to make! It would almost be like living at home.... and as for that, where are this young womans parents/family whilst all this is going on? And the baby's father?

The girls father isn't able to provide a home for himself let alone his daughter, unfortunately that's not an option, the mother is what is commonly known as a chocolate fireguard, if there was any chance of the natural parents being able to offer accommodation then we wouldn't be having this conversation.
please note that we are indeed offering the girl and her daughter a temporary solution and some stability were not suggesting that she live with us forever, moreover, we are not suggesting she live like a saint whilst under our roof, were not so old that we don't get where she's coming from or that she needs companionship etc, again i will reiterate for the people who dont get it, we have the situation of a young girl who has a small daughter, she is about to leave her current lodgings as her current landlord is not going to renew her agreement, we have been aproached by her and have suggested to her that we make the offer of our spare room that we currently use to give accommadation to forgein students, all children and all under the age of 18, whilst the youg lady gets back on her feet we would like to offer her our accommadtion as my Mrs is the young childs god mother, can we do this for free, not it is not possible can we offer a place for her so that she is able to work longer, learn harder and save, the young lady currently works as a classroom assistant and has a very low salary, so i will again ask, what should we be doing as far as the local housing authority is concerned, is there anything specific that we need to report to them as she will be receiving some meals whilst she stays with us, she will also need to make a contribution to the services she uses, will the local benefits agency approve of this, will we need any specific agreements, yada yada yada.
i don't see where the dilemma is coming from or why some of you guys are attempting to suggest there is another motive at work.

missmontana

I've never suggested your motives are dubious, Its very kind what you are offering to do for her but in the long run, she really needs to see out the situation and get herself sorted in her own place.
The best thing you can do, is first thing in the morning, ring the housing office and speak to someone.
Forget what everyone has said on here, state the facts and ask what her options are.

Oldernotwiser

missmontana wrote: »

The best thing you can do, is first thing in the morning, ring the housing office and speak to someone.
Forget what everyone has said on here, state the facts and ask what her options are.

I'd agree with this if he was facilitating the young woman herself doing it. As the OP himself has said, she's not !!!!!!(!) so there's no earthly reason why someone (not even a relative) should be doing this for a 21 year old adult.

blue_monkey_2

Georgy, you might be trying to help her short term but really you will not be. If she cannot find accomodation now because of money how will she ever be able to? Having looked for property myself I can tell you that it is very hard to find somewhere to rent - and I had a husband who was working full time. He had to be bringing home 3 times the rent before they would even let us view! This is why we got this place, working hubby but did not earn nowhere near enough to rent. Many LL state they will not have benefit claimants too. The LL cannot get the proper insurances if the tenant is on benefits (this is what I was told).

And what if this happens again and again, what if the little girl is forced to move time and time again - how do you think this will affect her long term? because it does.

Have you actually asked this girl if she would go to the council our housing association? Have you told her that she has this option? Because she has. Only she has to act now as time is running out and once you have given her somewhere to live she will not be in need and they will not help her as much as they will now.

Short term options are all very well and good but you have to look further than this because there is a child involved. I too spent my 20's bumming rooms in houses but I'd certainly not do this with my children. It is not fair on them. Children need to feel safe and secure and need to have routines.

And unfortunately, this lady does not have the money to 'pick and choose' just where she wants to live, her options are very limited. And while it is generous of you to help her you really will be hindering her.

Only the fact that you keep on yelling at us that she is not interested in having secure accomodation, for life, for her and her child for a variety of reasons that do not add up at all, makes us all think that there are other motives involved here.

You say you want the best for her yet here you are taking away her only chance of getting a secure HOME for them (and there is a difference between accomodation and a HOME when kids are involved) - because of what? Your arguments do not stack up at all I am afraid. You say that she does not want to live on a council house on a council estate yet a) you must be on a council estate already - albeit everyone has bought their houses - it is still and (ex) council estate so it does not make you better than anyone else, and that b) that she does not want be a scrounger and a 'drain' but, er, here you are asking what benefits she is entitled to and that she is already claiming as she only works 8 hours a week. The LHA would be putting her up at a cost of £600 a month yet she could have HA housing for half this amount. So her being in private renting accomodation is actually MORE of the drain you are saying you do not want her to be.

So until you can come up with better arguments than you have done already then of course everyone here has to see if there is some other motives involved. Surely if you want to help her then you'll ensure that the right thing is done by her.

And if it is just 'temporary' why on earth are you charging this girl, who your wife has known since she was born, rent at all and why not just help her out for the short amount of time you say it is going to be???

bestpud

I know people have already said this but I find it extraordinary how you are saving her from a life on benefits and yet asking for help filling in a housing benefit form!

That's as glaring a contradiction as any I've seen on here!

And that is before we start on the council house contradiction!

This thread is just bizarre and I wish it was a wind up tbh.