MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Spencer trade in the engagement ring?

dandy-candy

I would ask her and if she still choose the more expensive one rather than saving the extra cash to put towards our future I would probably not get engaged to her - sounds like she will be a dreadful wasteful wife anyway :P

silver.squirrell

Jewelers don't want you to know this!

A frind of mine spent £3,000 on an engagement ring. They split up 3 months later. He took the ring back to the shop, to see how much he would get for it. They offered him £350! as they said that was all it was worth. When he told them he bought it from their shop and showed the receipt, they didn't know what to say!

Instead of buying a ring at a shop, go to an auction its much cheaper and you will be able to buy a good ring with genuine stones at a fraction of the shop price!!

brewski_2

:heartpuls:kisses::kisses:If she really loves him then the amount of money he spends on a ring is insignificant. she should stop being selfish and realise that starting married life is expensive enough without a top of the range ring to worry about. I would settle for a curtain ring if i new he was 'the one'.

oldschool

If girlfriend is that shallow he needs to carefully consider ditching her! he could be setting himself up for a life time of throwing money into an empty vessel. It's not what you've got, it's who you are that counts.

Ashagill

That's a tricky one. From a savers point of view, i'd say fool her, but from a woman's point of view, i'd say buy her the bling, if it's what she wants.

However I agree with the idea of talking it through with her first. If she's anything like me, she'd agree it's not important for an ultra glam one now, if it's not in budget, and maybe in the future if they save enough, and they're better off he can get her one later. :T

ejbg2001

I have been engaged 3 times (never got married tho).

The first ring I bought with my money (he didn't have any), I got to choose it and enjoyed it (even after we split). It wasnt expensive but what I wanted.

The second ring I was very unhappy about. My partner of the time had been planning the engagement party with me for about 3 months (free pub room thru a friend's parent, own catering) and on the week before the party announced he hadn't saved for a ring and didn't have any money for one, so he would talk to his mum. I had dropped hints about the sort of ring I liked (sapphires) and while I was a bit sad he hadn't saved even a little I thought he would listen and come up with something nice.

Instead his mum gave him one of hers she no longer needed (and both of them told me this each separately...). She said I could have her 5-diamond ring when she no longer wanted it. I felt completely worthless. The ring was amethyst, which was nice, but not quite what I'd wanted , but it was the sense that I was really an afterthought, that he couldn't be bothered spending effort on me. The relationship dragged on another 3 years till he left...

My third ring was just right in goldilocks parlance. We had gone to a few shops, I had pointed out a couple I liked and he told me he would get it in about 6 months (he was on the dole at the time). I thought that was wonderful, not knowing quite which one, but of the sort I would be happy wearing. 3 months later (Xmas not his birthday) he presented it to me... It was the one I had liked best and he had paid for it in installments. It was wonderful. I treasured it for many years till I lost it and was totally gutted.

So I would say, don't start off on a lie, but with communication and listening to what your partner likes, you can choose something you would both be very very happy with the item for the rest of your lives.

awehla

Nope they shouldn't start their marriage off with a lie. He should get her what ring he wants to get her and she should be bloody grateful.

awehla

becky_rtw wrote: »

God there are a lot of cheapskates on here! £100 for something you are going to wear your whole life! :eek:

I personally dont want a 7k ring, but I do have the 'one' dream ring - most women do (about 1.2k since you're no doubt wondering).

Now if someone proposed to me without the dream ring and I loved them and wanted to marry then I would still say yes...but that doesnt mean a girl cant dream about a particular ring - its not about the cost its about the sacrifice to save up for it!

She is not shallow if she has a dream 7k ring - it doesnt say she is demanding it...

He should buy whichever he thinks is best in terms of what he can afford and what she will like, but he shouldnt pretend the ring is something its not - trust me if its her dream ring she will know!

I think it depends on if you like rings. I don't as having something on my finger all the time annoys me so buying me a fancy ring would be a complete waste of money.

MrsGWoman

Firstly, oh how I wish I had a boyf who could afford to buy me ANY type of ring, let alone a bobby dazzler worth £4k. He should tell her the truth - if she snubs it, she's a cow and he would be better off without her than marrying a materialistic wench like that. Simples.

smartarse

He must be a banker...the rest of us are now paying for his idiocy. Time to change things? ps i'm no socialist!