Ground rules for student living at home

Savvy_Sue

Had a quick search but didn't immediately find anything similar so would welcome comments from anyone who's been there, either as a student or a parent!

DS3 has applied for deferred entry to Uni, so would go in 2011 under his present plans. He intends to get a job (!) and save some money (!!) in his gap year, so we do have plenty of time to sort this out, but ...

We (me, DH, DS3) always assumed he'd go 'away' to Uni, but he's decided his 'favourite' course is at our local - and I know it's a good one. He hadn't realised that he'd get less loan if he was living that close to home and is therefore thinking about spending his first year at home, with a view to moving out with whatever friends he's made in his second year.

Which isn't as daft as it sounds, given that we live less than a mile further away from the Uni than the main Halls, so at least his academic and social life wouldn't be unreasonably curtailed by the need to get home.

And we're tolerant, and happy for him to be more of a 'lodger' rather than our son, ie cooking for himself and no questions asked about what time he'll be in. And we have experience (long experience!) of lodgers, and even space for him to keep his food separate!

But what ground rules / expectations have people found useful in this situation?

Of course it means we'll still be living with a 100W amp next to our bedroom / the computer on the landing, but I dare say we'll cope!

MrsManda

Why would he get less loans living close to the university?

Lokolo

He doesn't get less loan if he lives close to home, he only gets less loan if he lives at home.

Making it easier on yourselves why don't you just charge him rent which will inc. food and bills? When I had a job working late nights my mum would make me dinner and I would eat it when I came home and she had gone to bed. Suited me!

Oldernotwiser

I think it's important to get the financial side sorted out from the start, so that he knows what he's paying for his keep and what it covers.

Savvy_Sue

MrsManda wrote: »

Why would he get less loans living close to the university?

Ah, I thought you got less if you lived close. But evidently ...

Lokolo wrote: »

He doesn't get less loan if he lives close to home, he only gets less loan if he lives at home.

Which will make him very happy. He'll be into halls like a shot, and when he wants his LARGE amp he'll ring and see if we can deliver it for him. His words not mine ...

Lokolo wrote: »

Making it easier on yourselves why don't you just charge him rent which will inc. food and bills? When I had a job working late nights my mum would make me dinner and I would eat it when I came home and she had gone to bed. Suited me!

But what I want to do is encourage him to be more independent: I mean, they've all learned not just HOW to do their own laundry but also WHEN to do it, but getting food organised isn't something they've had to do before leaving home. And it's a useful life skill, I was listening to some students discussing recipes on the bus the other day, and obviously some of them had more of an idea than others! :rotfl:

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I think it's important to get the financial side sorted out from the start, so that he knows what he's paying for his keep and what it covers.

Indeed. He seems to think that if he has a job next year, he won't need to pay rent because he'll be saving. I have other ideas! :rotfl:

Anyway, if anyone does have more comments from a 'been there, done that' angle it would be good to know what NOT to do! From both sides ...

Oldernotwiser

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Ah, I thought you got less if you lived close. But evidently ...
..

That used to be the case.

Lokolo

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

But what I want to do is encourage him to be more independent: I mean, they've all learned not just HOW to do their own laundry but also WHEN to do it, but getting food organised isn't something they've had to do before leaving home. And it's a useful life skill, I was listening to some students discussing recipes on the bus the other day, and obviously some of them had more of an idea than others! :rotfl:

I am in my third year and still bring my washing home (obviously I can do it and have to when I don't go home for a month!) hehe.

However you do learn to cook sometimes, I bake chocolate cakes om nom nom nom.

But I would agree that it is best to go into halls and move out, just more expensive that way.

I loved my hall but my friend's hall were all utter ****s and made things hard on him. We both got a house the following year with a couple of others from my hall and it was fine.

triggerhappy_2

To be honest, if you do live that close and are willing to treat him like a lodger, I'd definitely stay at home for the first year and save a bit of money. Halls can be hit and miss, and you don't necessarily miss out on the social aspect just by not living in halls.

Oldernotwiser

Personally,given the choice,I'd be in halls for the first year for the contacts and experience and return home for the third year when you really have to put your nose to the grindstone.

triggerhappy_2

That would be sensible, but it's incredibly difficult to bring yourself to return home once you've left...

Oldernotwiser

triggerhappy wrote: »

That would be sensible, but it's incredibly difficult to bring yourself to return home once you've left...

For some people that's true,but the majority of students do return home after graduation.