Ground rules for student living at home

Savvy_Sue

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Personally,given the choice,I'd be in halls for the first year for the contacts and experience and return home for the third year when you really have to put your nose to the grindstone.

:rotfl: at the idea that ANY of my sons will ever really put their noses to the grindstone!

It's not that they DON'T work - they do, when the mood takes them. But it seems that WHEN they work, they enjoy it, and if they're not enjoying it, they don't work!

triggerhappy wrote: »

That would be sensible, but it's incredibly difficult to bring yourself to return home once you've left...

Been there, done that, got the scars (never mind the t-shirt ...)

(We had DS1 at home for 6 months post-graduation, and we all survived that. When I told my siblings he was about to move out into his own flat, one said "And have you stopped talking to him yet?" Several years after I went home post-graduation and moved out a few months later, my mum said she'd never forgiven me for that. I never did work out WHY!)

triggerhappy_2

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

For some people that's true,but the majority of students do return home after graduation.

Surely more common with people who have moved away for uni who don't have a flat in their home town? I lived in a flat 5 miles away from my mother's house when I was at uni, you couldn't have paid me to move home once I'd graduated! Even at my poorest there was always a way to pay the rent and avoid moving home

Oldernotwiser

triggerhappy wrote: »

Surely more common with people who have moved away for uni who don't have a flat in their home town? I lived in a flat 5 miles away from my mother's house when I was at uni, you couldn't have paid me to move home once I'd graduated! Even at my poorest there was always a way to pay the rent and avoid moving home

But most people do move away for university,even these days.

I wouldn't have fancied moving back either but many people do,even well into their twenties and thirties; it's an acknowledged social phenomenon these days.

Lokolo

triggerhappy wrote: »

Surely more common with people who have moved away for uni who don't have a flat in their home town? I lived in a flat 5 miles away from my mother's house when I was at uni, you couldn't have paid me to move home once I'd graduated! Even at my poorest there was always a way to pay the rent and avoid moving home

I am currently in Southampton. Uni is Stafford. Home is in Bucks.

Theres no way I am going back home after uni.

triggerhappy_2

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

But most people do move away for university,even these days.

I wouldn't have fancied moving back either but many people do,even well into their twenties and thirties; it's an acknowledged social phenomenon these days.

I realise that - I meant that people who remain in their home town wouldn't want to move back home with their parents after uni, and would be unlikely to need to, rather than those who move to a different city.

Errata

I guess son will be a strange hybrid of son, lodger, student sharer. The best advice I can offer is buy him a student cookbook, tell him the year at home is his chance to practice and getting used to sharing as an adult with adults. And have a house meeting once a week which will last for 2 mins if everything is ok and somewhat longer if not !

Mini_Bear

I would second making sure son lives in halls in the first yr for the uni "experience". My sister went ot the local uni and insisted on moving out. Friends who took the cheaper option living at home, often didnt settle on their courses and didnt socialise as much.
If it all gets too stressful he can always live at home in the final year. Renting at university gives you brilliant experience and responsibility and makes you appreciate your parents so much more!!!
Good on him takin a gap year to save, if he can work several jobs and save hard he could really come out of uni with minimal debt and stress!!! Particularly if he can keep one job going during his degree!

Savvy_Sue

Mini_Bear wrote: »

Good on him takin a gap year to save, if he can work several jobs and save hard he could really come out of uni with minimal debt and stress!!! Particularly if he can keep one job going during his degree!

I'm not holding my breath for him finding work at all: maybe he'll surprise me (he often does!), but he has been told about the Year In Industry scheme and hasn't done anything about that, he's had a local company suggested to him who might do gap year placements and he hasn't done anything about that, he turns his nose up at working in a shop, bar or cafe (because "I'd have to be nice to people!"), he doesn't fancy working in an office (because "it would be boring!") and although he's bright he doesn't have any obvious skills that an employer could make instant use of.

He does Saturdays at the local cinema, and when he wanted a day off they asked if he wanted to do a Sunday instead. He might have done it, until he realised they were suggesting working the following Sunday, ie TWO DAYS IN A ROW! :rotfl:

We'll have to see. He's a lovely lad in many ways (even if I am biased), and his teachers say he's matured since GCSE days (which turned a few of them grey!) so there's definitely hope for him yet.

Lokolo

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I'm not holding my breath for him finding work at all: maybe he'll surprise me (he often does!), but he has been told about the Year In Industry scheme and hasn't done anything about that, he's had a local company suggested to him who might do gap year placements and he hasn't done anything about that, he turns his nose up at working in a shop, bar or cafe (because "I'd have to be nice to people!"), he doesn't fancy working in an office (because "it would be boring!") and although he's bright he doesn't have any obvious skills that an employer could make instant use of.

He does Saturdays at the local cinema, and when he wanted a day off they asked if he wanted to do a Sunday instead. He might have done it, until he realised they were suggesting working the following Sunday, ie TWO DAYS IN A ROW! :rotfl:

We'll have to see. He's a lovely lad in many ways (even if I am biased), and his teachers say he's matured since GCSE days (which turned a few of them grey!) so there's definitely hope for him yet.

What career is he thinking of going into?

Business or Computing?

http://www-05.ibm.com/employment/uk/futures/index.html

Savvy_Sue

Neither of those, but I'll pass those details on to him, thanks. It's the other two who are computer minded, this one uses but does not interfere with computers.

Other problem is that he doesn't want to move out for his Gap Year - he looked at the YINI website for example, and decided that as there weren't any placements he liked the look of in our city, there wasn't anything for him!