Got pregnant by a married bloke

RedSky

tabetha wrote: »

Yes, i would still have expected him to face up to his responsibility regardless of his personal, financial or other situation. I have often said to him it would actually mean more to me if he would be involved in his childs life and would not ask for a penny from him as it would mean a lot lot more for my son to have a realtionship with his father - but since he wont be bothered to be a part of his , life he can at least help financially in bringing up his son and make it easier for me to be mum and dad at the same time

You seem intent on making him responsible for a situation he was dead against. Obviously he should have actively prevented it if he felt that strongly about the consequences but saying "he wont be bothered" to be apart of your son's life makes out it was a casual decision yet this was not the impression from your original post. His lack of loyalty must have been a possibility given the basis of your relationship.

RedSky

daska wrote: »

OP, please ignore anyone who tries to imply that you're not morally entitled to support from the absent parent. Maintenance is for the benefit of the child not you and the behaviour that led to your child being conceived is irrelevant.

In 99% cases I would agree with your moral view of support but there are the exceptional cases where I would not. That is purely my opinion which, as always, is open to debate. The legal position is not debatable.

Loopy_Girl

Ddraig wrote: »

You dont even sound remorseful over the fact you could possibly be destroying another families life.

Err it's HIS family so is any remorse then it should be coming from him...he was the married one - not her

And as for calling her a tramp - you're bang out of order with that one lady:mad: and condoning that a pregnant woman gets 'the living daylights kicked out of her'.....you're a classy chick eh?

You don't know the circumstances - maybe she didn't even know he was married until she announced the pregnancy

Maybe if you 'married women' kept your men happy they wouldn't need to go looking elsewhere

dmg24

Ddraig, this is not the place to be discussing the rights and wrongs of the situation. The priority to the OP now is giving their child the best start in life possible.

If you wish to discuss the rights and wrongs of such a situation, you would be best to start your own thread in the Arms, and not detract from the OP's request for help.

DaveLy

The guy earns £2k a week, clearly hes smart enough to use a condom if he cheats. He didn't, he should face the consequences. It's a fathers responsibility to support his child.

Go to the CSA, let the crap hit the fan if need be... too much money? Explain to him that your putting £XX of the £240 a week of the CSA your getting into a bank account for your childs future, that'll pay for his college/university and deposit for his first home -- things his Dad probably wont help out with when the time comes given his behaviour now.

shell_542

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Maybe if you 'married women' kept your men happy they wouldn't need to go looking elsewhere

The poster you were quoting isn't the only one whose disgusting attitude is bang out of order.

dmg24

Could we stick to helping the OP please?

shell_542

And unless the OP is having a 2 yr long pregnancy, she's not pregnant anymore.

shell_542

dmg24 wrote: »

Could we stick to helping the OP please?

I've already posted in reply to the OP, but I wasn't letting a nasty comment like that go.

Loopy_Girl

To be honest I done it for effect. The post I was referring to was full of hatred for the OP as if she had seduced him with her womanly ways and he had nothing to do with it

There's only one person's fault how an affair happened and that is his...he should have had more respect for his family and used the tongue in his head to say 'I'm away home to my wife' rather than for other things

Men are not these feeble little beings that have no saying should a femme fatale come into the equation (or even a bog standard woman come to that)....he was married, she was single - but then that would be a thread for DT.

This is an emotive subject and everyone will have their own views but as long as the OP question has been answered (which is has) then that is the main thing.