The problem with teenage girls...

Peakma

I felt I had to post.Just to say,it doesn't have to be the end of the world.I'm sure it is not the life plan she had in mind but,although being pregnant so young is a very difficult thing to go through,there is a lot of love and good can come from it.
When I was at school one of my best mates got pregnant,she was 14.She didn't tell any one she was pregnant,in hind sight,I did have inclinations that she could be,she had put on weight ( but so had her elder sister at that age) she was smoking and drinking less( I know at 14 we shouldn't of been any way...)but when she was 7 months pregant,her mum found all her sanitry protection,she'd been stashing away.
I remember so clearly walking around to her house to see her,when she had told me,and all of a sudden she looked really pregnat,like she had been holding it in,and could finaly let it out! She hadn't told anyone because she knew she didn't want an abortion,and her Dad would probably push her into it.he was very strict.
Any how her dad pretty much disowned her,wouldn't look at her or speak to her, he could not cope with the fact,his baby,had had sex and was going to be a mother.
She still didn't know whether she wanted to keep the baby,or put it up for adoption,she just knew she wanted to give it a chance at life.
her mum was devastated,but supportive. She had the baby just before her 15th birthday,spent a few days in hospital with her,then she went to a foster carer,where she would visit her every couple of days,or whenever she wanted,she could take her out for walks,and got on with the foster carers,she had the time to decide whether it would be best for her baby to keep her,or give her up for adoption,to an otherwise childless couple(as it happens,the father of the baby was adopted,and his adoptive parents are great,they needed to be parents.-the father never had the chance to be a father to this baby,as it happens,by the time he found out about the pregnancy,he was going out with my sister!!but thats another story!).I remember clearly going to see her at around a week old.
She was very lucky,as her sister was a couple of years older and they managed to get a flat together,sh e decided to keep her baby,she got her full time when she was about 6months,her sister and mum helped with child care and she stayed on at school.
And by that point that was her life,it was fine,not as planned,but she loved her baby girl and managed all the chang of lifestyle really well.
It took her dad a long time to acknowldge that this was all really happening,he got very depressed and Angry,and her parents very narly split over it,but when he finaly agreed to see his Daughter and Grandaughter, he imediately bonded,and welcomed the new addition (edition?) to the family,and from then on in was also helpful and suportive.
Now my friends baby was 17 recently,she is a model child,she's having driving lessons( hee she'll be borrowing her mums car soon!)
This human being was meant to be, she has added so much extra love and joy to my friends life, because they are so close in age,they get on great.my friend has a good job and owns her own home.
So although,it seemed like such a massive major f**k up at the time of OMG I'm 14 and pregnant,it really didn't turn out that bad!
On the other hand,I know several people,who have been in thi situation,and thought an abortion would solve there problem,it has haunted them their whole lives, they have the due date,and surgery date etched on their minds,and have carried a shadow of guilt ,particularly after they do have a baby later on in life.
I really empathise with this girl,it cannot be an easy situation to be in,but it really doesn't have to be the end of her life,especially if there are people around to be supportive.

Chakani

OP, I think you have handled a very difficult situation with tact, sensitivity and good sense, as has your daughter. You both should be proud of yourselves.

red_devil

I hope they prosecute the father. Highly illegal.

savingmummy

Your daughter is a star and i bet you are so proud of her.
It is bad enough being secretly pregnant and scared at a young age but to be the support on the other side at that age is hard enough - i hope the girls mother appreciated how your DD helped her daighter throughout!

I am glad her mother now knows and hopefully all goes well for them in the future.

euronorris

Thanks for the update OP.

Sorry it wasn't the result you were all hoping for, but at least it's now out in the open and they can start considering how best to move forward.

I also wish them well for the future.

Oh, and you should be really, really proud of your daughter. You have a real gem there

Peakma

Was just thinking about this thread.I hope the girl and all concerned are coming to terms with the situation, and it all turns out the best way it possibly can.x