Advice on Child Maintenance please!

shell_542

DUTR wrote: »

In the long run it will be better for you all, as there will be less 'arguing'

You forgot the "in my opinion" off the end of that. Of course there's less arguing when the PWC and NRP have no contact at all . . . Using the CSA is by no means a sure fire way to end the arguing.

Good luck OP. Hope things go well for you.

13Kent

If he is already in dispute with you before you have set up the agreement I think it is the shape of things to come, so I would say go with the CSA then you both know where you stand.

missmontana

Well I made the phone call today, took 10 mins, very quick and easy.

The lady was very nice, she even laughed when I told her who his employer was! But he won't be hard to find, so will make their job alot easier.

We just have to wait now, patience isn't one of my virtues..... but hopefully in a couple of months my child will have an even better standard of life!

missmontana

Right, haven't heard alot from him since the call to the csa, but before that he'd agreed to put some money in the bank... 4 weeks worth at 20 quid a week, so £80. Said he was getting paid at end of last week, so I checked bank... nothing. Sent a text, with a bit of said he was not paid till Monday, then transferred money over, so this is all OK.
Now he wants to bring paper work round to sign for DNA test.... Do I have to do this??? I'm just wondering why now after all this time he suddenly wants one.

daska

He wants to know that he's paying for his own flesh and blood. If he's the dad then having this done and getting a positive result will give him less wriggle room. Assuming there is no chance your child could have a different father then you don't have anything to lose, do you?

Blonde_Bint

daska wrote: »

He wants to know that he's paying for his own flesh and blood. If he's the dad then having this done and getting a positive result will give him less wriggle room. Assuming there is no chance your child could have a different father then you don't have anything to lose, do you?

to be honest thats what I was thinking.

he's stalling and messing around and this dna thing if its not sorted once and for all can keep cropping up anytime he likes. If it were me I would do the dna test then thats it once and for all.:) Do it then its taking away at least one of the sticks he can use to beat you with iyswim:D i'd be effin fumin though but i'd be so smug afterwards.

DUTR

missmontana wrote: »

Right, haven't heard alot from him since the call to the csa, but before that he'd agreed to put some money in the bank... 4 weeks worth at 20 quid a week, so £80. Said he was getting paid at end of last week, so I checked bank... nothing. Sent a text, with a bit of said he was not paid till Monday, then transferred money over, so this is all OK.
Now he wants to bring paper work round to sign for DNA test.... Do I have to do this??? I'm just wondering why now after all this time he suddenly wants one.

No you don't have to sing his paperwork, but if you are/were not married to him at the time of birth and his name does not appear on the birth certificate, then the CSA cannot assume paternity, so if he ticks the box on the MEF then you will have to go through a DNA test .
It's not that he is trying to wriggle or delay out of anything, I would and have done the same.
Sometimes people are not content if they are not calling all the shots:o

missmontana

DUTR wrote: »

Sometimes people are not content if they are not calling all the shots:o

You hit the nail on the head there...

Shall I give you the quote of the day?

"I'm 100% sure I'm 99% sure I'm his dad, but I have 1% of doubt"

Does that make sense to you??!!!:rotfl:

missmontana

Blonde_Bint wrote: »

to be honest thats what I was thinking.

he's stalling and messing around and this dna thing if its not sorted once and for all can keep cropping up anytime he likes. If it were me I would do the dna test then thats it once and for all.:) Do it then its taking away at least one of the sticks he can use to beat you with iyswim:D i'd be effin fumin though but i'd be so smug afterwards.

Its not a stick, its a truncheon, or do they call it a baton these days?? I'm sure that would be classed as police brutality!!!
:rotfl:

bdt1

My ex hubs also wanted a DNA test when CSA got involved in our case, very strange, as after all we had/were married, there was no mention of adultery on my part in divorce documentation, he was named on irth certificates and had even signed solicitor documents during divorce stating he was father of ds(1) and ds(2). When he found out he had to pay for the DNA test, he never bothered, and nearly 18 yrs on, hasn't mentioned it since - what a plonker just trying to string things along, as your ex it seems! What a pratt!!!