Advice on Child Maintenance please!

missmontana

daska wrote: »

Even with PR the school won't necessarily provide any info. Am currently battling with DS1's school to even acknowledge my e-mails.

I'd quite happily give him copies of school reports, but he's never even asked! I think the school just take your word for who has PR.

missmontana

So if we get the birth re registered, then he automatically gets PR?? that would save one lot of forms...!

He started off with an offer of £100 pm, then looked at the website did his sums and offered me £160, 20 less than what it should be as he reckons he can't afford it, but then said he would pay for extras like school trips etc. But if he cant afford any extra then how is he going to pay for such things? His logic just doesn't add up... I'd rather just have a set amount so i don't have to keep pestering him.


Right, I have text him to say just to give me £20 pw till the law changes, as a few of you have said, every little helps and there's no point him paying more if my child is not going to see it! then we'll see if the poor love can cope with that for a while, half term is coming up so I am sure I can think of a few payments in kind that might come up!
Then the fun will begin on us trying to settle on an amount! I think I am being quite reasonable, what do you reckon?

I will ask him to bring copies of all paperwork on Monday when we meet... could be interesting!!

shell_542

In my opinion £160 a month doesn't sound too bad, for one child, on his income. Yes it's £20 less but then he might spend that £20 when she spends time with him. I wouldn't go through all the hassle of the CSA for £20 a month (personally). If he can agree to that I would say yes. If he continues to mess about, puts off setting up the payment etc etc I would refer to the CSA.

You wont see all of that £160 or £180 a month anyway at the moment, whether through the CSA or privately, because of your benefits. (Sorry I keep harping on about it, but you've not commented when I've mentioned it before) You will only get to keep £20. They will then reduce your benefits by £140 or £160 (until April).

shell_542

Perhaps you could also remind him that there are not 4 weeks in a month and based on the CSA calculator, he should be paying £45 a week.

If you times 45 by 52 to give you the figure for the year and then divide by 12 months, he would actually have to pay £195 a month, so £160 is a bit more of a drop. Perhaps he might bump it up a bit knowing that.

missmontana

shell_542 wrote: »

Perhaps you could also remind him that there are not 4 weeks in a month and based on the CSA calculator, he should be paying £45 a week.

If you times 45 by 52 to give you the figure for the year and then divide by 12 months, he would actually have to pay £195 a month, so £160 is a bit more of a drop. Perhaps he might bump it up a bit knowing that.

oh yes, great minds think alike Shell, I already thought of that!! cos I know he didn't...


and yes, i did know about the 20 quid thing! sorry, I am thinking ahead. the £160 is only based on what he has told me is his income, I suspect he is on alot more, he has been in job for the past 5 years now and shall we just say he wears a uniform? I have looked at their pay scales on the net.

daska

missmontana wrote: »

So if we get the birth re registered, then he automatically gets PR?? that would save one lot of forms...!

You'd like to think so but I doubt it, you'll probably need to attend together, provide ID, fill in a form with the registrar etc

daska

missmontana wrote: »

Right, I have text him to say just to give me £20 pw till the law changes, as a few of you have said, every little helps and there's no point him paying more if my child is not going to see it!

That's a shame, personally I would have suggested that he give you the £20 and take responsibility for some specifically child related costs such as school uniform as that would be regarded as being a good parent rather than as paying maintenance.

speedster

daska wrote: »

Even with PR the school won't necessarily provide any info. Am currently battling with DS1's school to even acknowledge my e-mails.

ah. been there, got that t-shirt!

i sent a recorded letter to the headmaster demanding reciept of the letter and informed them that as i had PR and they continued to ignore my requests i would be in touch with the governors and LEA.

surprise, surprise, i got a grovelling letter of reciept and the issue i had was suddenly adressed and resolved.

amazing what standing up and hollering a bit will do. :T

missmontana

daska wrote: »

That's a shame, personally I would have suggested that he give you the £20 and take responsibility for some specifically child related costs such as school uniform as that would be regarded as being a good parent rather than as paying maintenance.

As I said, I plan to do that as in the half term my child wants to go to playscheme! any other suggestions for child related costs??

daska wrote: »

You'd like to think so but I doubt it, you'll probably need to attend together, provide ID, fill in a form with the registrar etc

How can unmarried fathers obtain parental responsibility?
An unmarried father can obtain parental responsibility by:
 marrying the mother;
 having his name registered or re-registered on the birth certificate if
his name is not already registered;
 making a parental responsibility agreement with the mother;
 obtaining a parental responsibility order from the court;
 obtaining a residence order from the court; or
 becoming the child's guardian on the mother’s death.

so yes we'll have to go and do it, but we won't have to do the order form court aswell...:)

missmontana

daska wrote: »

How much does he want the PR? Or is he demanding it in order to delay paying you?

How about "OK, we've obviously got quite a lot of paperwork to do, how about you and I sit down together in front of the CSA calculator with all the relevant paperwork and we'll get it all sorted out there and then. Then we can take the PR agreement to the clerk to have it witnessed and registered so it's all legal. [x] date/time are good for me, can you make that?" Make a list of all the paperwork that you will need: birth certificate, maintenance agreement, PR application form, student loan agreement, payslips, P60 etc etc, send it to him with a letter outlining the above and see what happens.

In other words you agreeing to everything he wants, making it as difficult as possible for him to complain about anything but strongly encouraging him to play fair. And as soon as he arrives you say, ok, shall we check we've got everything we need before we start and the first thing you check is that he's packed his current pay slips, his last P60 and his student loan agreement. Give him the chance to do the decent thing and if he won't then go to the CSA

I am just about to text him with this request, so I will let you know how that goes...:rotfl: