Advice on Child Maintenance please!

shell_542

Are you on Income Support?

If you are then you will only be allowed to keep £20 a week regardless of what he offers anyway. The remainder will be taken off of your income support until April. Then the rules change and you will be able to keep all maintenance and income support.

It can be as simple as you state (after April), if the figure he offers, you agree on. It may be lower than what the CSA would demand, but you have to decide whether the amount is sufficient enough to help to contribute along side yourself, to your child's upbringing. The involvement of the CSA will not necessarily go smoothly. It can break down relations between parents. They can try and demand figures that a person cannot afford and can make such silly mistakes that it ends up causing so many problems.

Ultimately, the final decision is down to you, but personally if I thought that the amount he was offering wasn't too bad ... then I would do what I could not to involve the CSA. If he started messing about, then I would have no other option.

I appreciate you are protective of your child, but she is his as well. Gaining PR will not suddenly give him all of these rights over her that take any away from you. It just means (as it should) that a father has a say in their child's upbringing as much as the mother. Like keeping an eye on how they are doing at school etc etc. Without PR, the school will not involve her Dad.

I don't think the calculations take into account a reduction for student loan payments. Maybe someone can clarify.

daska

Whilst it's all well and good to be on the side of the angels, if the other side isn't approaching it the same way and there's no comeback then that's a recipe for turning yourself into a doormat. So make sure you know and understand exactly what your child's and your child's father's rights and responsibilities are...

Is his name on the birth certificate? If the birth was registered before Dec '03 then one way to approach this is to re-register the birth with his name and that will automatically grant him PR. (This won't work if he is already named.)

Here's the info you need on making a Parental Responsibility Agreement.

And here's the CSA calculator.

How much does he want the PR? Or is he demanding it in order to delay paying you?

How about "OK, we've obviously got quite a lot of paperwork to do, how about you and I sit down together in front of the CSA calculator with all the relevant paperwork and we'll get it all sorted out there and then. Then we can take the PR agreement to the clerk to have it witnessed and registered so it's all legal. [x] date/time are good for me, can you make that?" Make a list of all the paperwork that you will need: birth certificate, maintenance agreement, PR application form, student loan agreement, payslips, P60 etc etc, send it to him with a letter outlining the above and see what happens.

In other words you agreeing to everything he wants, making it as difficult as possible for him to complain about anything but strongly encouraging him to play fair. And as soon as he arrives you say, ok, shall we check we've got everything we need before we start and the first thing you check is that he's packed his current pay slips, his last P60 and his student loan agreement. Give him the chance to do the decent thing and if he won't then go to the CSA

daska

shell_542 wrote: »

Without PR, the school will not involve her Dad.

Even with PR the school won't necessarily provide any info. Am currently battling with DS1's school to even acknowledge my e-mails.

shell_542

daska wrote: »

Even with PR the school won't necessarily provide any info. Am currently battling with DS1's school to even acknowledge my e-mails.

Perhaps I should have written "the school SHOULD involve Dad".

Many do though. Shame yours is being a pain in the butt.

dimbo61

In the words of a well known supermarket chain " every little helps"
Its expensive bring up a child and even from the little info your EX has given you he should be paying at least £45 a week £190 a month !
Now when you do get back to work that extra money will help pay for childcare costs and school uniform ETC.
If after April you do get to keep all maintence paid via the CSA that is an option but if your EX is paying £50/60/70 a week to the CSA and you are only getting £20 of that it will cause a lot of friction between you both.
Tell him to look on the CSA website( 15% of his net pay) and ask him to pay you say £200 a month by private agreement . GOOD LUCK

daska

shell_542 wrote: »

Perhaps I should have written "the school SHOULD involve Dad".

Many do though. Shame yours is being a pain in the butt.

Yep, but your comment has reminded me to write to them again thank you. This time I've played dim and asked whether there's a formal application I have to make to the governors or the LEA to register as his parent so that I can be sent the information... Hopefully that will flag me as knowing that I can complain without my having to do so

tsstss7

If it was me I'd go through the csa if you can unless you believe you can rely on him to pay regularly and without you having to chase him up constantly.

With regards putting him on the birth cert. is that even possible after a certain time?

shell_542

tsstss7 wrote: »

If it was me I'd go through the csa if you can unless you believe you can rely on him to pay regularly and without you having to chase him up constantly.

With regards putting him on the birth cert. is that even possible after a certain time?

How will she know without at least giving him a chance first?

daska

tsstss7 wrote: »

With regards putting him on the birth cert. is that even possible after a certain time?

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Registeringlifeevents/Birthandadoptionrecords/Registeringorchangingabirthrecord/DG_175620

RedSky

tsstss7 wrote: »

If it was me I'd go through the csa if you can unless you believe you can rely on him to pay regularly and without you having to chase him up constantly.

An approach that sounds similar to the CSA's school of thought. You are regarded as guilty and do not have the option to prove otherwise.