Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

NGlady2

Good evening ladies - how are you all?

Sorry I havnt been writing on here - just really felt like I havnt got much to say right now. Just toddling along - doing pretty well at work this month, doing the normal things.

I have been trying really hard with my money this month. And I thought I was skintos!

Ive just found an extra £100 in my bank account, which accounts for a lot - I split my money into weeks and because I dont normally have an overdraft, did it last month to protect me if I ran out cos things was thin on the ground - i saw £xxx - and thought I only had £xx cos the third x was the overdraft - but its not.

Really need to learn how to accommodate for the overdraft if its going to be kept on my account! When I got paid 28th August, I heard my balance and thought id been paid extra - turns out it as overdraft. that was disappointng lol.

So really pleased about that.

Downside, i've done all my budgeting to take into account of having to balance out my other account.

I think I need at some point to sit down - and work it all out once and for all, whats going where, whats going for what, and keep to it. urgh

Also I thought id lost my bus ticket earlier in the month - was gutted, as I pay £20 for 13 trips so thought id lost about a tenners worth - found it last night.

So again - got to re-adjust my balances to take all this into account.

Been to the next sale today - found the winter version of a summer dress ive worn loads - so very happy about that... looking forward to it wearing.

See- I have nothing to say, just boring money stuff as per!

and an exciting thing.....

IM GOING TO SEE LEGALLY BLONDE NEXT MONTH IN THE WEST END WOOHOO

CompletelyLost

Hi ladies,

Nice to see a post from you, NG. I like hearing about your budgeting, so post away!! Glad to see you're doing better this month - if only I could find £100, it would solve a few problems. I was looking at the next sale and there's a top I want, but it's not worth ordering online as P&P is £3.99, and the top's only £4!

I've never been to see anything in the West End, but would love to **is jealous** Hope you have a lovely time! Are you going with the bf?

Sorry to hear about your TMJ pain, Anglea. Do painkillers not shift it?
I forgot to ask you last time about those men hassling you, but what are they doing? The usual leering or something more sinister?

I've been charity shopping today, although only came back with one blouse which I'm probably going to sell (they didn't have a changing room so I bought it without trying it on). Really trying to keep my spends at a decent level this month... it's so hard resisting all of the pretty things

ziggles50

hi guys
1. What's a TMJ?
2. Why do i always get a spending head on when i have literally no money to spare? Got Mobo's and 2 days in glasgow next week and NO money to add to my pitiful holiday budget (and a similar trip planned to Edinburgh first weekend of November!)
3. Why is everyone having a hard time- everyone i come across is struggling with work, love, family, stress, ill health. Is it the seasons or stars or planets shifting or what?
4. Advice peeps- Let's say you have a problem with someone and don't really like them at all but you never ever mention it or bring it up but 'go along to get along'. How do you extricate yourself from the relationship without hurting the person or bringing up their 'many' faults etc.
5. CL have you seen the inside of charity shop changing rooms- yukky! :-*
6. Anglea- Hope you're feeling a bit better. Are those pub guys really harassing you. Maybe get your son to have a 'firm' word. i'd hate to not be able to go somewhere because of other people.
Also- i feel for both you and your son on the moving out issue.
7. NG- i do not envy your accounting process. But if you find £100 then it must be worth it!
8. Thank you for being here. you're all such lovely peeps

Anglea

Hi girls, just caught up on the posts, really tired and want to go to bed early for a change.

Will be writing properly tomorrow.


xxxxxx to all of you

CompletelyLost

Hi all,

Today feels like it's been the longest day everrrrrr. But wow, the weather has been amazing for late september! went out for drinkies this eve - two ciders and i felt sloshed, then i ate a KFC and now i feel sick. I'm a pathetic lightweight!!

ziggles- about the person you dislike... me personally, i'd just avoid them until they got the message :S but then i'm pretty tactless, and if it's someone that you work with or can't avoid, then errrr, that probably won't work! hmm, i'm sure one of the other ladies will have a more sensible approach to your dilemma!!

tmj is the place where your two jaws join, and it causes pain... i think sometimes it flares up with stress, but apart from that i don't know much about it.

NGlady2

Zigs - this might sound a bit pathetic, but... have you tried playing a bit of a psychology game on her. You make her, dislike you. So, in the past where you grit your teeth and go 'yeah I agree' just for peice, you go 'actually no...' as many times as possible. Also, is this cruel? id make arrangements for things 'and oh im sorry i could only get x amount (less her ticket) ... '

Would soon give her the hint, but it may back fire too

Best of luck xx

Anglea

Hi girls

NGlady glad I'm not doing your budget LOL sounds complicated with you losing and finding things.

CL -are you feeling ok after your night out?

TMJ - I'm fed up with it at the moment as it won't go although I no longer have the neck and shoulder pains as well. Just now I heard a horrible click when I opened my mouth. Pills don't have any effect.

I'm going to the pub for lunch today but I'm going to act differently in case those men are there. Going there to discuss a joint project with DS and not taking any nonsense from anyone else.

Ziggles, before you completely walk away from that relationship - was it a friend or family member? you could try an experiment. Imagine a mystery person offered you 1000 pounds a month to be really friendly towards the person you dislike. When you see them pretend to yourself that there is a reward for being with them.

You could find that your relationship with them could really change. Often the more times you remind yourself that you dislike them, have a problem with them, the more you will see it. Often all it takes is an immediate change of reference to make everything different.

example that happened to me. When DS1 was born I took him to a baby club for mums. A couple of ladies really scared me, every time I saw them I was on edge. I really disliked them. If anyone would have asked me about them, I would have said 'steer well clear'.

A few years later I was getting some help with DS2, a woman that was going to look after him for a few hours a week, arranged by an agency. She was coming round to meet me. Shock of life when I opened the door to see it was one of the women I disliked.

Because I was needing to look at her from a different perspective to before, I soon discovered she was really nice, so was her friend, the other woman I had a problem with.

ziggles50

Oh thanks guys- but it's someone i reside with...difficult and in my opinion at this point- not worth the lolly to make an effort. I have a high tolerance for pain but think i'm practically at my limit. Always easier if you're not paying for the displeasure. Think Single white female type situ!
I just find it difficult to say stuff and make these decisions- i told stepmum last night what was happening- and why and i was so hot i thought i might self combust (just as well you cannae see me blush!)- that's how difficult it is for me to be open! And that's not even to the person involved!!!
I will take your advice for using on other people though as i am rubbish at all this.

Anglea

Hi all

You've answered your own question Ziggles, if the imaginary money isn't going to make it any better for you, then you might have to move out unless you have a heart to heart with her? Although from what you've said that would be really difficult. Could anyone else do it - or you write a letter?

I once had a flatmate from hell, got me into loads of trouble, eventually I threw her out - literally!

I went to the pub, only one of them around and he was looking looking strangely at me, think he's got the message.

Bought yet another book

NGlady2

Evening ladies --

Gosh what we done for this beaut weather?!

Its strange though, the end of September to be so hot, aparinatly its from the Gulf. Hope this isnt a taster of whats to become - my wardrobe isnt equiped for it lol.

I can't believe iv been so stupid girls.

I've wasted SO much money over the past year or so. SO SO MUCH.

Im wearing the same few pairs of leggings over and over again - and buying a stupid amount of clothes that I really don't need - does anybody else do that.. buy clothes they dont need but consider themselves unable to afford the essential bits you actually do need?

For example - I brought two tubes of toothpaste and a toothbrush so i dont have to take my electric on hol - cost a fiver in total. I ummed and arrred much more about that than a pair of sandals after?!?!?!

This has been brought on by the fact I am emptying one of my wardrobes to make way for new bedroom furniture - and im actually seeing how much is stuffed in my wardrobe. this is one alone, the other two to come.

I actually feel quite sick - i think ive wasted thousands maybe not on the actual clothes, but the transport to get them/transport to take them back when there found on offer etc.

On what?! Loads of sale stuff that arent even that great.

If I had of curbed my spends - and not spent so much on going out/eating out - as a size 18 as if i need that. I would be able to have brought a very basic brand new car by now.

sickening.

Theres a couple of bits I genuinely need for my jols - other thn that - no more clothes for me this month. Hopefully not this year. This includes the gorgeous lace blazer that I saw in next - even tho im returning a dress i brought online and a bag, that money will have to go into the bank!!

Dont get me wrong thoguh i havnt spent ALL my wages over the last year and a half - ive saved/going on my third hol but ive wasted - big style.

Cant moan about the past though, can only improve my future.