Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

verynewmoneysaver

Hi all. Still struggling a bit with the clothes spending, especially with the sales lately. Haven't really spent as much though to be honest this year. Am really going to try to cut back for the Autumn as there's nothing I really need (but I have got £22 in M&S clothing tokens which I have to use by November).

salesaddict

pinkarsenalprincess wrote: »

Am glad I have found this thread.
I am a shopaholic. I use shopping to make myself feel better and to cope with my grief. Having suffered 2 recent sudden bereavements I can see myself getting worse again. I got in the car, went to the shops and spent £300 in less than an hour. I feel physically sick when I walk away from something I want to buy, I get the shakes and I think about it non stop until I go back and buy it. I have 3 floor length wardrobes stuffed full and 2 chest of drawers yet I always have nothing to wear that I feel good in.

Am hoping to get help and ideas on here, or just to post every time I get the urge!
Am in two overdrafts to the tune of £4000 and something needs to be done before it gets worse.

Hello PinkAP

I am so sorry for your bereavements. I really hope you will be able to find some comfort and help on this website, perhaps from this thread? Sadly I am not in a position to give you much advice as I have not dealt well with my own compulsive shopping habits. The strange thing with me is that I will not buy anything full price, so I can easily walk away from the most desirable dress for instance. However I am compulsive with the M and S sale and in the recent sale I spent £400 from the first reductions to the final clearance on the Autograph and Limited ranges.
I think Morocha asked if I could return anything but one of my things is wearing what I have bought the very next day. When I think about it most of my problems stem from this compulsion. I put my purchases on my credit card then move the balance to an interest free card. I am forever tidying and reorganising my wardrobes which is time-consuming and boring and stops me spending the time with my family. Although myh problem seems very shallow from the outside looking in, the reasons actually run very deep and are difficult for me to admit and face upto. Forgive the naval gazing. Hope all you ladies are well. I think Nglady mentioned something about hijacking the thread? I certainly don't think any of you have done that. XXXX

kerri_gt

@ziggles50 - Oh I love TK Maxx, though have to be in the right mood and frankly in one store near me the sales staff can be so rude I wonder why I bother (particually at the fitting rooms where they now treat every customer like a potential crimminal about to steal stuff).

@salesaddict - I can understand where your sales thing comes from, its fun buying something and can feel even more exciting thinking you have a bargain. I have a friend who is forever buying things (not just clothes) and her mantra is 'oh it was only £15/£20/£30' etc etc but then you add them up and she spends hundreds. Prob on a lot of things that only ever get worn once (if at all). I like a sale as much as the next person but try to ask myself 'do I love it, do i need it and would I pay full price for it?' If I answer no to any of them, esp the last one, I generally know it should be put back. One thing I find is to take time to try something on in the shop (not quite so easy with internet shopping) - then you really have to look yourself in the face (in the mirror) and decide if it really is worth the purchase. Generally, if I don't immediatly like it on myself, the good feeling of being about to buy something goes right out and I know to put it back. x

pinkarsenalprincess

Salesaddict, thanks for you post.
I'm working really hard on trying to beat my demons when it comes to emotional shopping.
We have a full military funeral this week so am finding it particularly difficult to resist the urge to comfort shop.

Reading these forums is a really helpful distraction.

alexandrajf

---

ziggles50

Hi alexandra!
Good luck with your plan to get on the straight and narrow. It can be so hard to say no to people who just don't get it. i have a friend who just wants to travel but i can't even abide the thought of a holiday (even just down to London) when i have debt to come home to even more debt and nothng to show for it besides some pics and a few souvenirs:p Even if i do wnt to travel the world eventually.
@pinkprincess- i am in full agreement as to the distracting power of these forums- and anything else that keeps you away from spending (or eating in my case:o)

alexandrajf

ziggles50 wrote: »

Hi alexandra!
Good luck with your plan to get on the straight and narrow. It can be so hard to say no to people who just don't get it. i have a friend who just wants to travel but i can't even abide the thought of a holiday (even just down to London) when i have debt to come home to even more debt and nothng to show for it besides some pics and a few souvenirs:p Even if i do wnt to travel the world eventually.
@pinkprincess- i am in full agreement as to the distracting power of these forums- and anything else that keeps you away from spending (or eating in my case:o)

Ziggles, I am on a weight loss project as well! Let me know if you need a weight loss 'buddy'

Anglea

Hi everyone

Pinkarsenal Princess - I'm very sorry for your losses and hugs for the funeral this week.

Salesaddict, I have to say that since I joined this thread, everytime I see anything with Autograph on it, I immediately think of you and wonder how you are doing.

For all you new ladies joining this thread, if you ever look back through the pages and notice that I talk about anything EXCEPT for shopping that's because this thread has been a lifesaver and helped me to STOP SHOPPING.

So thanks very much Sales addict for starting it.

Hi FE and VNMS, thanks for posting your updates been wondering how you've been.

I do urge everyone who has joined to keep reading and posting whether you've had a massive relapse (please don't feel embarassed) or if you're like me and have managed to stop because it's very easy to become complacent and believe that everything is ok.

ps there are a number of us that are into excercise and fitness and often talk on here about what we are doing - having a wardrobe of misfit clothes can be unpleasant.

pinkarsenalprincess

Having a blah day.
Weather is rubbish and spoiling my school holiday mood. Only two weeks left and I know I shouldn't moan but I feel like I have just sat around doing nothing. A bit of sunshine wouldn't go amiss right now.

I want to shop but am resisting the urge. I might even go and rearrange the wardrobe again and try some stuff on that I 'discover' so that I can pretend it is like shopping!

Have created a thorough budget on excel. Really annoyed that petrol is costing me so much but there is no other way to get to work :mad:
Just hoping I can stick to the budget....or even better, beat it and spend less than I have allowed myself!

NGlady

Hey all - rushing around like a headless chicken this morning getting ready for work, I woke up and my hair was bad enough to make a small child cry. However I always have time to check my MSE forum. I know, thats quite compulsive, isnt it?

I have to say this thread of people are honestly some of the nicest people i "Know" - its quite odd as I consider a lot of people on here to be a friend of mine!

I went through a phase when I was going through a badish time earlier this year of doing a daily rant on here - remember them girlies? and I would talk about everything bothering me, it was namely men and lack of job. I don't really get as much time or have as much to say on here anymore now I am with a new guy and have my job. However, as I said before, this thread has whilst it hasn't stopped me spending at all has impregnated my mind with a new thought channel "Yeah its only £2 - but its still £2!" and the amount of times when I am out i've still shopped - but I have honestly thought about the sale rail and do I need it, also the amount of times in places like starbucks ive thought no im not spending £3 on a coffee ill go buy a 30p bottle of water from the shop over there!!

I am very much the same - I go straight to the sale rail and really it is quite the wrong thing to do as these clothes are lets face it what nobody else wanted in the first place. But now I am into sales and swishing - havnt brought anything off ebay for a while - I find the prices for non-sale things rediculous even though I can afford the stuff.

huge hugs to pink - it can't be nice at all. Bless ya hon xx

Right more later, im off to continue making my hair look like it wont make young children cry - seeing my lovely man later DELADY