Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

ThinkingOfLinking

Well, I am not entirely sure what you mean Lisa, sorry I am knackered BUT they say you can save up to £200 towards a new phone; you get £1 put into your phone fund from every £10 you topup. I had a small amount in my account and just checked on Envirofone to see which of the phones I could afford with my phone fund would give me the most money back when I sold it to them. It also says "+£10 top up" but you do NOT have to top up and it goes through fine; I have had enough of Orange and am leaving them...HAVE left them.

morocha

ohh wow i think i can never ever can bring myself to pay that much for a mobile.... for my £100 is already too much ...

CompletelyLost

Woah, I had to rescue this thread from page 3!
How are you all doing? Seems quiet here tonight.

Today was another NSD for me. I'm almost getting fed up of typing that, haha. I've been doing plenty surveys/clicking recently so hopefully will have some excess monies to spend frivalously next month

NGlady

This thread going to page three :O Ladies!!
I am absoloutly knackered tonight. Had a fantastic day in Manchester - then got off train in sheffield and went to nandos and arcade with a mate.
I have spent roughly £30 - now that included a couple of necessary buys in Manchester, a day out and a evening out, come on! That aint bad
Shall reply in more detail tomorrow and include todays spends Tomorrow shall be a MSD and sunday a NSD Monday shall be a £10 day, I have a JOB INTERVIEW and itll cost a fiver to get there, plus come on I deserve a treat after a job interview.
I am very pleased with my spends this week, to say how much ive actually DONE compaired to two weeks ago I am very low So im learning huh!

clarab_3

debtfreeforever wrote: »

Hi everyone,

This is my first post...I've browsed the forums for almost a year, learning so much but this thread finally compelled me to register and post!

I've come a long way towards complete recovery from my shopping addiction but I still have a little debt left and still fall off the wagon during times of stress or feeling low. This thread will be really useful for me over the coming months - this is my last final push towards being debt free forever (I'm aiming for Oct 2010).

Here's what I've learnt from my experience (you've probably heard it all before but I'll list it anyway in case it helps even one person!):

1. Keep a spreadsheet & enter everything you spend - this REALLY helps control your urges. Highlight NSDs & aim for as many as possible.
   
2. After 2-3 months of this you'll be able to spot trends (triggers to spending and problem areas) - now you can set realistic budgets and give yourself an allowance. I give myself a cash allowance for food (a real problem area for me) and when I'm debt free I will do the same for clothes but currently I am not spending ANY money on clothes until the autumn/winter season.
   
3. Make a list of what you NEED and try so hard to stay focused at the supermarket - magazines and junk food are my weakness and these indulgences really add up.
   
4. It's helpful to keep a list like this so that when you do have a strong urge to spend then at least you can spend it on things you need rather than random crap.
   
5. Get organised - declutter your house completely so you can SEE what you actually already own. I've fallen into the trap many times of thinking I need a gold bangle from Primark when I already have 4! Now that I'm organised those types of urges have lessened.
6. I talk to myself before every purchase. It helps me to question 'will anyone else care or even notice if I wear this brand new clutch tonight and will their opinion of me be any different than if I just use one of those I already have?' Every single time the answer is NO. I have shopped, like many women, believing I will be more attractive to other people and gain approval. The truth is most people don't notice/care that much! So long as you have a reasonable wardrobe, it's far more important to keep your hair in good condition, have good skincare and keep your body healthy & fit so the clothes you have sit well - none of this costs much it just takes a bit of time and effort.
   
7. Unsubsribe from all website's mailing lists. When you want to buy something (i.e. you NEED it) you will find a code here or at hotukdeals.com so put it out your head that you will 'miss out'. These emails are a major temptation to spend!
   
8. It sounds simple, but just don't look - stay away from the shops as much as possible and find other fun things to look at online. Buying magazines is guaranteed to tempt you to shop so avoid them.
9. Find things to satisfy your desires for free - when I stopped splurging on clothes I transferred my spending to books & DVDs (much cheaper but still an unhealthy spending habit). Now I use my local library (I'm lucky to live near a city and have a very well stocked library) and get to take home new stuff whenever I like for FREE! Try it.
   
10. We shop (and binge eat) often (not always - some people just like stuff!) to fill a void in our lives - you need to think about what that void is and work on it. Until you do you'll forever have this problem. My voids/triggers are - sometimes loneliness (I'm single), boredom, media pressure, disatisfaction with my body (even though I'm a size 8, go figure?!) - to address the boredom & loneliness I go to the gym 3-4 times weekly (this has also helped tremendously with my body image), and have a cinema pass to go unlimited times with friends for only £13.50 per month. I don't buy magazines (and refuse to watch TV adverts) to avoid the media pressure. Remember, when we shop addictively and binge eat we only hurt ourselves.

Sorry so long! I hope it wasn't a pointless ramble!

I think this is a wonderful support thread and I'm looking forward to dropping in regularly. If I think of anything else I'll be sure to post.

that is such a brilliant post! It can help to think of it in the same way as people with weight issues think about comfort eating I think as well. Comfort Shopping!

Actually, Im being serious here, try googling "emotional spending" I'm not saying this is everyones problem in any way, but its taken me a long time to realise its mine.

A woman writes of her own experience here and it hits the spot for me...

http://www.wisebread.com/knowing-your-triggers-can-prevent-stupid-spending

Anglea

CompletelyLost wrote: »

Woah, I had to rescue this thread from page 3!
How are you all doing? Seems quiet here tonight.

Today was another NSD for me. I'm almost getting fed up of typing that, haha. I've been doing plenty surveys/clicking recently so hopefully will have some excess monies to spend frivalously next month

Hi all

I don't understand the reference to page 3. We're on page 79 Or did you mean page 3 of the DFW forum? Actually that's confused me because I always thought we were in the Money Savers Arms until I looked at the top of the forum just now.

NGlady gossip please

NGlady

Oh another thing I have had suggested - you know if you happen to be somewhat of say a makeup buyer, and you sometimes fall into the trap of forgetting what you've got and end up buying again or very similar. Get a small little notelet book, and wite down all the shades uve got and put research time into the colours u need/want and only buy from that list as that list is your list you've been able to justify a need for

Angela, I think CL means nobody had posted on the thread for a few hours so it went to the 3rd page of the DFW forum :O

Well, met up with him at about 1130 - went to the trafford for some dinner, was lovely. Had a wonder round the shops and did a couple of returns (he calls it un-shopping) and tried a few other things on. Then we went into the city centre as it was HOT in there, and just generally had a wonder round the shops a nice coffee and a chat, what a gent I brought the drinks and I had a cold one didnt like it and he SWAPPED his coffee with mine :O even though Mango irritates his insides :O bless him!!!! I felt so bad when he told me after it irritates him lol. We shared our first kissy lol. Then I got on the train, went to sheffield and met up with a mate My only puchases yestersay was.
Starbucks - £4
Arcade in the PM - £2-£4 unsure so count as £4
Nandos in the PM - £12
I brought a second magazine of the week £0.99
Superdrug £2.29 - this brought me some wet wipes which I needed to freshen up for the night, also a can of dove deoderant. I brought loads of the vaseline deo last year when it was dead cheap in Superdrug and tbh after ten cans im starting to dislike the smell, so having a break from it keeping it tho! lol.
Next £4 - this brought a cotton t-shirt to go under my dress as I was hot and bothered and wanted to freshen up for PM £2 towards bus. so therefore spent £29.28, which has taken me over my £70 target but in comparison to some weeks maybe not that bad.

So this weeks result is as follows (lol) £85.94

I have managed to loose a week or so in my spend dairy somewhere - but heres the results for the last few weeks, which shows im doing OK.
March 20-26th £86.97
March 28th April 2nd £138.60 :O :O
April 3-9th £88.08
April 10-16th £85.94

I am doing so much better than in the past A lot of my spending are unneccssary but its getting better I am really going to aim for my £70 limit this week again, not going to manc until next sat so there is a chance.

CompletelyLost

Anglea wrote: »

Hi all

I don't understand the reference to page 3. We're on page 79 Or did you mean page 3 of the DFW forum? Actually that's confused me because I always thought we were in the Money Savers Arms until I looked at the top of the forum just now.

NGlady gossip please

Pg3 of the DFW forum

NGlady - he sounds like the perfect gent! Where can I find me one of those? Glad he let you buy the drinks this time too.

NGlady

I had a blonde moment and pressed enter too soon

NGlady

We walked into starbucks I came out and said "What are you having - you go sit down" may have said it a little too forceful but I wanted to try and treat him in a small way, I don't think hes the type of guy to ASK for something to be brought for him, he doesnt need it but I think hes the type of guy even if somethings not expensive he appreciates a gesture. Does that make any sence? I wanted to buy us doughnuts but he wasnt hungry, we're going for a picnic next weekend shall offer to bring that up/go to the shop and me buy it when there or something

Plenty of Fish Miss Completelylost

I have a dilema. Im going to debenhams, going to use my voucher. Does this count as a spend or not :S what do you girlies think?