New year, New me (finally)

thrifty_fifty

On a plus note, shiny new freezer has arrived and is being primed for lots of delicious icecream.

:j

thrifty_fifty

Heavy snow forecast for wednesday!! I'm confused!!

thrifty_fifty

Well definitely got the guilt bug. Just purchased season 3 supernatural at a very bargainacious £11.99. We have been promising ourselves this for months, so we could have some quality time together. I have been putting off buying it for a couple of months now. Just finally took the plunge and purchased it.

Couldn't believe that when I was doing it, and that little processing bar was going across the screen, I got sweaty hands everything.

Just to explain... I don't know if you have experienced this, but this kind of reaction used to occur when I was purchasing highly expensive shoes or items of clothing. Basically because I knew it was bad, knew I didn't have the money (real money), and that I would spend the rest of the month being broke.

The difference here is that the dvd was an £11.99 box set with 5 dvds in it that will give us a good months viewing. Normally we can't sit and watch tv together as we don't get a very good signal on our digital box, so the tv is unwatchable.

Anyway after that I had to check both bank accounts, just to be sure, even though I know I have the money to cover it, and started to think about what I could flog on ebay to keep the spare pot of cash topped up. I'm even trying to make my tights last until may is out, so that I don't have to buy new ones until the winter (well I'll buy them in an outlet store over the summer when they are bound to be reduced.

Sitting here with butterflys now. It's such a pain in the behind thinking about money all the time. Well I'm sure that once I'm clear and I've got some savings down for the house, then I will learn to switch off.

xx

thrifty_fifty

Sorry. Various rantings this evening, I'm clearly having one of my crazy blips again. Shut up thrifty and stop expecting instant results. Ride the tide, keep lumbing away. It will go, and everything will be fine

thrifty_fifty

Ok,

Last pep talk. Clearly getting to grips with this problem and paying some money off this lot, has reminded me of better times, and how I want to turn my life around. Because there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel, this is probably what is throwing my head all out of sorts. Impatient to see an end to it, but still some character traits of the past to let go of.

Does anyone else have this. Having ups, having downs? The irrational side of me wants to sell everything, but I know that if I do that, I'll be left with nothing, when this is finally all paid off, and what a shame.

I know that this thing with the bracelet is what has thrown me off kilter. I think just give ebay a breather for a week, and let the dust settle. Trying to do things too quickly i think.

This is all a lesson in self discipline-the overspending, over eating. I have poured myself a very miniscule glass of red tonight. OH and I are not going to finish the bottle like normal. Firstly because when I'm in this kind of mood, alcohol will only make me miserable. Secondly, I don't want to have my evening dictated by the lure of some red liquid. So a glass of water it is.

Shoe_Gal

I have always firmly believed that everybody deserves a few treats along the way of their DFW journey - life has to be lived

Stop beating yourself up, you are doing brilliantly and should be proud of what you have achieved so far :A

thrifty_fifty

Morning!

Well I'm going to stop being a misery now, many apologies for yesterdays rantings. I'm going to have a pamper myself day today. So apart from washing, that needs to be done, I'm not touching housework, the allotment or anything else that involves planning, making lists, hard graft.

I'm going to eat some chocolate, watch some tv-probably one of my planet earth dvds. Read a book and generally chill out.

thrifty_fifty

Another point to note on all the above, the very fact that we are all on here and writing these diaries is testament to the fact that we have faced up to the problem.

Shoe_Gal

Sounds like a lovely day - enjoy

thrifty_fifty

I said to myself today that I would take a break from the laptop, and not check my online auctions. I couldn't help it, and now I'm secretly hoping no one will bid so I don't have to start packaging items, waiting anxiously for positive feedback and no problems etc etc. Clearly this has taken too much of a hold of me, and I need to take a break from it for a while. Haven't listed anything today so nothing to do next week. Think I've burnt myself out with it. Its gotten to the stage where I can imagine all these people waiting for their items. I feel like they are vultures preying over my items when they're watching them. I know that sounds crazy, maybe I am just burnt out and need a rest.

Have done lots of reading today, and onions, garlic and shallots planted in allotment with OH. Sleepy now. ZZZZ.