no wiser than the fool i was before-lyns' debt diary!

LookingAhead

Wow very productive!

You've just reminded me I have something I need to stitch before it gets worse...........

lynsayjane

well good news and bad news depending on how you look at it. the party's off. I#m totally broken hearted, I'd planned everything in my head right down to the tears in mum's eyes when she walks in the door. my aunt phoned my sis to see why she was so against it and when my aunt called me she wasn't so sure it was a good idea. The only thing I could do was speak to my stepdad who said he'd rather I didn't. when i told mum she said it was a great thought and she really appreciated it but doesn't want me to do it now, she says she's not happy with me spending that money on a party where most folk won't turn up, food gets wasted etc.

I'm so angry at my sister I told mum to find someone else to go to 50 cent cause I cant bear to be near her right now. I've been crying for the past hour now. I was so looking forward to making such a fuss of her. oh and now i'm stuck going to dundee on saturday to go shopping which I'd rather not do, I don't like going there. brilliant.

ok silve lining....I guess I'm saving money....

anyway i'm going to go to sleep before I sound any more suicidal, I'm not, I'm homicidal!!! hopefully tomorrow will bring better things. sleep tight x

lynsayjane

well no major changes today, 'cept I look like a panda...:rolleyes:

Am now thinking about booking them a hotel somewhere for the weekend...we'll see but it's now put ideas in my head about xmas cause I'm not going home now. Last year it was me mum n sis and I was sat in front of the tv most of the day (when I wasn't sat in the kitchen reading my new gary barlow book!), sis was in her usual mood and mum just wanted everyone to have fun, I'm not doing that again, especially with how much I disliek my sis right now. She's of the persuasion that you have a fight and next day it's forgotten (or rather when she wants something from you) but this time i'm not giving in. I'm the one thats been hurt this time and damned if i'm just gonna forget about it!

anyway, told mum to find someone else for 50 cent as I don't want to be around my sis so I'm going to have a productive evening of washing, ironing and reading all about my benefits package at work so I can have a list of questions for my meeting tomorrow with the consultants who organise it all.

lynsayjane

well guys, xmas just got a HUGE amount of more fun....

I'm spending it in the most romantic and beautiful city in the world (clue, thats NOT Aberdeen!!!) and all by myself. No family squabbles, no sitting in front of the tv, no pretending to like bad presents....I'll be walking along the Seine, visiting the palave of Verseilles, Eurodisney, Notre Dame.... I'M GOING TO PARIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok enough showing off, sorry guys. For some reason the thought of getting away from here struck me and while looking in to it I realised that I could afford a week someplace special. It's costing £480 flying with Ryanair...the problem is the single person supplement which is £217 totaly shocking if you ask me. But I just got my cheque for £400 form London and country to make up for the solicitors fees I paid a the start of the year which covers it so I only need spends. I managed in Crete with £400 so I'm planning the same again.

I know a lot of people will think I'm crazy enough going on holiday by myself never mind at christmas but christmas isn't the same anymore. When I was a kid we'd be off visitin family, having a big dinner, going to Dad's for a second pressie load, but last year my sis didn't get out of her jammies and only left her room for pressies and dinner. I spent most of the day infront of the tv or sitting in the kitchen reading while cooking dinner. Thats not how I want to spend my day. Sure I'll miss my mum, but I gave her the chance to come with me, but she can't afford it and won't leave my sis or stepdad...tho she's not bothered if I go off galavanting. I just want to have a good time and if I'm being kicked out of work for a week I'm not sitting in the house for it!

I'll try and be as mse as I can while I'm there, but I can't bloody wait!!!!!

LookingAhead

WOW! LJ that's brilliant!

I don't blame you at all and you are not crazy.

Now, let's weigh this up.........Christmas at home with all the predictable stuff, arguments, bored relatives......or Christmas in Paris (paid for/afforded) doing what you like when you like and getting glammed up to the eyeballs (just cos you can) and sauntering around the French capital.

Fantastic.

And....for what it is worth now.....I am really sorry I wasn't around (again...sigh...) when the news broke about your Mum's party. I'm so very sorry as I know exactly how excited you were about it and planning it - with some very good ideas. Big hug to you honey.....but now you can throw yourself into planning your festive Parisian trip.

:xmastree:

lynsayjane

thanks LA darling, but once again my unpredictable life has blown up. due to various family politics I'm now plannin on my parisian adventure for April adn taking my mum. It was mentioned on the phone about her coming, she loved Paris when she went before I was born and would love to see it again. Seriously I was on the phone half an hour with her listing the places I HAVE to go! I want so bad to be able to take her with me but my stepdad wouldn't be happy with her going away for xmas and I dread to think what my sis would say. So I've decided to cope with christmas at home though I've ordered mum to make this a good one! She really didn't want me to wait as I was so looking forward to it but during a tearful conversation tonight I told her that there was only one person I could share that trip with and that if I did go now by myself I'd feel really bad that she couldn't be there with me. So April it is. I can't deny that I'm not a little sad but at the same time it gives me more chance to book and plan and find a good hotel and flights and more time to save up to really show mum a good time. She tried so hard to give us everything we could want while raising two kids, putting herself through uni and working part time and all by herself. Now I have the money adn I can't think of anything better than giving her something back.
Did tell her though that I'm never doing any more selfless things for her. Thats two that have been spoiled by other people in a week!

hypno06

Paris in springtime..........beautiful.

LookingAhead

Hi LJ. Sorry this site is just doing my head in at the moment so this might be my last post for a while.

I love this site so much but I have got better things to do than wait 5 minutes for pages to load so I can read & post.

(I can't even find my own diary the search facility says it doesn't exist yet I can see it on a list of my own previous posts? So what's that all about?)

ANYWAY before I take a break to cool down I just wanted to say fair play about putting off your trip till April - I guess at least it will be cheaper too? But you are right to say you will not be so selfless in the future due to other people's demands and pressures.

We only get one shot babe and while I understand we can't go breezing through life knocking other people and their feelings aside - we can't do everything others want either.

So stick to your guns honey.

You've got my email address I think so stay in touch if I am off her for a while and you fancy a 'natter'.

Sorry to sound down & boring & drama Queen-ish...I'm just a bit :mad: at the moment so best I bog off for a while.

Take care hon.

LA xx