no wiser than the fool i was before-lyns' debt diary!

lynsayjane

just back from the doctors. told him about the circulation problems, the tiredness, the fact my eczema has exploded over my face and he was really nice about the whole thing. I've got an appointment next week for enough blood tests to drain a small elephant! though he thinks that the problems are related to my thyroid, that can cause circulatory problems, but he wants to check anyway. he's also checking my thyroid itself to make sure it's not playing silly !!!!!!s again. gads I'm 25 years old and feel like my body is falling apart!!!

well leaving for work shortly and going past boots for my THREE prescriptions :eek: and going to pick up a couple of other treat type things to cheer me up....and maybe a bottle of vodka to calm me down long enough to go to work! at least I'm on with my fav manager the next three shifts! :j

lynsayjane

well as promised, now my exam is finished I'm concentrating on the other sides of my life that have been ignored.

This week I have been in the gym three times :j only doing an hour of cardio at the moment as I feel my fitness level has dropped slightly but it's better than nothing. Next week I am aiming for three/four visits depending on time restrictions (ie I'm going home on friday so when I cna get picked up). My diet is slightly better (she says as she hides the plate from the bacon and egg sarnie :rolleyes: ) haven't had crisps since tuesday and only a half a finger of twirl from a collegue yesterday so the treats are being cut down.

Todya I am in the middle of decorating my kitchen. It was a year past January that my ex and I put in the new units and it's taken this long to get the rest of it done :rolleyes: My dad helped my paper the roof and walls a couple of weeks ago and I promised my first weekend off work after my exam would be spent painting it....which is why I am absolutely covered in white spots from the roof :eek: I am never ever ever painting a roof again! But am taking a break now to clean the rest of the flat and give the skirtings a chance to dry before I do the first coat on the walls. The second coat can go on tomorrow morning and a third coat (if needed) in the evening meaning on monday after work I can get my kitchen back to a working condition. Another room finished :T

Good news on Thursday on the work front. My manager has said that they are going to put a developement plan in place to train me towards being head receptionist over the next four months and if the girl who just had a baby doesn't come back (it seems very likely she wont and I'll miss her) then I'll take over the role. I'll be in charge of a fairly new team, one guy only been there a couple of weeks and hopefully a new full time and part time starting shortly. The only problem will be the current part time girl, she doesn't like me and I think she'll throw a strop as opposed to being professional about it but if thats how she'll be I really don't care.

Oh I also got a call on wednesday form my solicitor to say that c&g have FINALLY gotten their finger out and fixed the problems and she is now applying for the funds. about bleeding time!!!

well suppose I better get my finger out too and go clean the bathroom, no rest for the wicked and all that :wall:

lynsayjane

morning all

am feeling realy tired today. was in work till about 10.30 last night and where I'd normally allow myself a bit of a lie in had to get up the back of 8 for the nurse. You would not believe how many test tubes of blood she took :eek: thought there would be no end to them! Got an appt with the doc a week on monday to discuss the results. Still in two minds over whether I want to find a problem or not, if they do it means I'm ill again but it'll be fixable, if I'm 'healthy' that menas my body is just falling apart on me....no happy ending me thinks!

Financially, I'm having a better week than I did at the weekend. Monday I got my shopping in (slightly over budget but not worried) and I've not spent since. oops forgot I was at the pub on tuesday....maybe just ignore this paragraph then! Yesterday my solicitor was just waiting for confirmation from her finance dept that my funds were there FINALLY. sorry martin but I'm not dealing with london and county again, they have stuffed up twice which has seriously held up my remortgage by over a month to get it all sorted. :mad: but once that money clears I can pay off my remaining debt and woohoo start with the savings! or rather spendings as I'm being so tempted to treat myself just now. We'll see what happens.

hypno06

Make sure you recharge your batteries sometime - can you get an early night tonight, or a lay in tomorrow. Do you get bank holiday off to catch up with some much needed rest?

lynsayjane

hypno06 wrote: »

Make sure you recharge your batteries sometime - can you get an early night tonight, or a lay in tomorrow. Do you get bank holiday off to catch up with some much needed rest?

hiya hypno

no chance of an early night tonight, only been in from work about 20 mins, tomorrow i start at 6am... am off the weekend though and am going home to my mums for the night on sat so she's been told she has to look after me

lynsayjane

I feel like I have nothing constructive to add to these forums anymore. Was just about to reply to the what small thing thread then realised I'm doing nothing today to help with being an mse. Doubt it'll be a nsd as I'm off out. Not doing anything to increase income ebay/clicks/amazon etc....basically I'm just being a normal person and doing nothing of a dfw nature. Perhaps I should take a bit of a time out from posting on here, give myself a chance to run up some debts then come back??? hardly. I think the problem is that I'm just waiting for this cheque to clear in my bank to pay off my credit cards then I'll be debt free and can then look at ways of increasing my savings and staying that way. Feel like I'm in a financial limbo at the minute. Had been aiming to get the debts cleared by the end of the month but with the problems the mortgage broker caused it's draggin on.

On a more personal note had another one of those ex's days again, though only two...and a crush! haha The fireman you may remember from october/november time turned up in the gym thinking of rejoining :rolleyes: Looks like a new job to avoid him may be on the cards. Not that he's that bad but it felt kinda akward yesterday when I was having to talk to him and can't bear that everyday! The second ex....well I'm maybe gonna be seeing him again I met him nearly two years ago when My last long term bf and I had split, then we got back together and I had to tell the new guy I couldn't see him again. Well turns out we have a friend in common who wasn't exactly subtle in getting us together last night. Am trying to play it by ear and not get caught up in it incase it falls apart again but am he says he's gonna call tomo and come over once I get back form my mums so I'm NOT going to stress over it.

The crush is a funny story, I give guys nicknames, this one was hot slains guy after the pub he worked in. Well one night I was a little inebriated...anyway he served me and when I gave him the money there was also a bit of paper with my phone number on it :eek: bumped into him last night and he knew my name which was random and for some reason he was under the impression that he'd used my number...er no! haha had a laugh about it last night tho which is good.

oh I have a confession for you all. Yesterday I went shopping after work, I was very very bad. £103 in new look (did get a fair bit for it tho) and ended up taking out a store card to get 15% discount, so only spent about £85 in the end. The cash is in the bank to pay for it, but thought the money off would be good. Am going to pay it off in full when the bill comes in, by all accounts I get a 20% voucher when I receive the card so I can't promise I wont use it again. But last night I felt like a superstar in my new clothes, very classy and sexy and not the old lyns at all! am I forgiven???

lynsayjane

'why does it always rain on me?'

hate to sound melencholy but today I feel like everything that COULD go wrong HAS gone wrong and I just do not understand it. I'm not a bad person, I don't deserve the amount of sh*t I'm having to deal with. Ok I know it's not as bad as some people have it, but I'm not feeling well and I'm alone and I just feel like dwelling on how bad I feel.

Ben never phoned, I feel used and stupid. I wish to god that one day I'll learn NOT to trust men, but I always see the best in people and I just cannot understand why other people can't be open and honest. Why say you want to be a part of my life if you don't? All I can hope is that one day I turn into an ice queen and my heart won't get broken anymore.

I realised today that I need to pay my credit card bill today, I've been waiting for this bl**dy remortgage to come through so I can clear it and in the process totally forgot about making the payment, I was expecting that money nearly three weeks ago. So I called up today and their systems are down, I've called back five times since and been on hold up to ten minutes each time and not gotten through to anyone. I tried to pay it online and shock horror 'your payment cannot be made at this time'. I clicked on the contact us button to get in touch with them about it and after typing in my message gets and error saying 'your message cannot be greater than null characters'...I don't think that even makes sense!!! so my payment is going to be late, I'll likely get charged and have to fight with them to keep my money. Thank god that my credit cards will be gone shortly (if this remortgage ever comes through, it's only taken six months :eek: ) and I'll have no further worries about it.

I'm having one of those days where I feel so terribly alone. All I could want right now is someone to hug me, someone to make me a cuppa tea and want me to feel better. Instead I'm sitting here sobbing my heart out and pouring it out to a bunch of random strangers who likely as not won't even reply.

There is something very very wrong when a 25 year olds life turns out like this.

slowlyfading

Lyns, I dont know what to say. -hug- you are a fantastic person and you are doing so well. We all have splurges sometimes. its okay, it doesn't make you a bad person. I'm always here if you want to talk.
sf x

lynsayjane

wish I could say I was feeling more positive today but...

was having trouble paying my cc bill as you know. Got it payed yesterday, fair enough. then today I went onto my internet banking like a good little dfw to find that the internet payment DID come off after all :mad: this means I have now overpaid them by nearly £150 and I was worried enough about having the money to pay it in full as it was! how angry am I? I know I'll get the money back once I phone them and shout at them but it's such a pain in the a$$! I tried to email again and am getting the same message as before.

am going into town shortly. have summit I need to return to primark and a couple of things to pick up. I know I should be here doing my essays but my brain is totally addled. Still not feeling 100% was in bed until 2 this avo, kept waking up coughin/choking every couple of hours last night.

wasn't online at all yesterday and to be honest I think I might take a little break from this site. not totally sure of the reasons in my head just now so can't explain but life feels so darned complicated at the mo and nothing is giving up. I was supposed to be debt free with my remortgage sorted by now not to mention shot of my english work but it just seems to be getting harder, not easier!

System

lynsayjane wrote: »

wish I could say I was feeling more positive today but...

was having trouble paying my cc bill as you know. Got it payed yesterday, fair enough. then today I went onto my internet banking like a good little dfw to find that the internet payment DID come off after all :mad: this means I have now overpaid them by nearly £150 and I was worried enough about having the money to pay it in full as it was! how angry am I? I know I'll get the money back once I phone them and shout at them but it's such a pain in the a$$! I tried to email again and am getting the same message as before.

am going into town shortly. have summit I need to return to primark and a couple of things to pick up. I know I should be here doing my essays but my brain is totally addled. Still not feeling 100% was in bed until 2 this avo, kept waking up coughin/choking every couple of hours last night.

wasn't online at all yesterday and to be honest I think I might take a little break from this site. not totally sure of the reasons in my head just now so can't explain but life feels so darned complicated at the mo and nothing is giving up. I was supposed to be debt free with my remortgage sorted by now not to mention shot of my english work but it just seems to be getting harder, not easier!

Oh Lyns, I know you're feeling down. I hope you don't go and if you do, don't go for too long. Lenny x