Help! Oh childs mum continually breaking contact order + emotional abuse

dgbnlm

hi there been there wore the tshirt.if i can help in anyway.it doesn't stop my oh son is now 11.there now my hubby can just wait for him to leave the house and wait at front door he returns him in the same way.this went on from the age of 3.nitemare.i sympathize.hope you got the child this weekend.life resolves all arounf the mum including holidays we are still getting that,take care

churchrat

OP-don't have any constructive advice, but just wanted to say how much I admire you both for fighting so hard. If nothing else comes of this, (although I am sure that you will be fine) the little boy will know that he has been well loved.

good luck with it all

space_rider

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I've said it before on here but I'm happy to repeat it.

The mother has only a few short years in which she can so utterly dictate what happens to, for, and with her son's life. He is already six years old and has good memories of his father even if (heaven forbid) his mother should snatch him and run to the other end of the country, denying all contact.

One day, he's going to be 13 or 14 and will rebel. At that age, he may well be big enough and smart enough to find out where his father is, and get on a train in order to turn up on your doorstep.

On the day her son defies her and insists that he won't come home, that he wants to live with his father, and is demanding to be taken before the Judge to tell him so, what's she gonna do?

Grit your teeth, play fair, abide by the law and just wait. I promise you, your day will come.

My brother had problems until his child was 10. The mother contacted him because she couldn`t control him behaviour. Thankfully they were able to form an excellent father son relationship and he is a delightful young man. All he needed was to see his father.

DVardysShadow

RAS wrote: »

Maybe her solicitor secretly agrees with you and is quite happy to give her enough rope to hang herself?

And even happier to be under the tree from which his fee falls. Yes, solicitors do stitch up their clients. I've seen a defence barrister do it in court with a statement from the defendant's gf - having, I imagine, already fed the prosecutor a one line put down.

DVardysShadow

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Unfortunately, I'm a confirmed technophobe, but is there a kind soul on here willing to tell me, or direct me to instructions, how to do quotes please?

Off topic

First of all, you can see when you press the Quote button on a post, how the reply is already started with a quote

[Q[COLOR=Black]UOTE[/COLOR]=paddy's mum;29365917]
Unfortunately, I'm a confirmed
technophobe, but is there a kind soul
on here willing to tell me, or direct me
to instructions, how to do quotes please?[/Q[COLOR=Black]UOTE[/COLOR]]

There is a shorter form which does not include the link back to the original post - just by omitting the users name and the reference to their post. This produces a quote which does not contain a link to the original

[Q[COLOR=Black]UOTE[/COLOR]]
Unfortunately, I'm a confirmed
technophobe, but is there a kind soul
on here willing to tell me, or direct me
to instructions, how to do quotes please?[/Q[COLOR=Black]UOTE[/COLOR]]

It comes out like this

Unfortunately, I'm a confirmed
technophobe, but is there a kind soul
on here willing to tell me, or direct me
to instructions, how to do quotes please?

You can do this manually by just typing

and [/QUOTE] around some text. Or in the reply window, there is a yellow 'speech bubble' icon with some 'lines of text' in it. If you press that, it will insert

[QUOTE][/Q[COLOR=black]UOTE[/COLOR]]

tags as they are called into your text. You can then insert your text between the tags. If you highlight some text, it will put the quote tags around the text. Hope that helps.

loopy-loo73

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I've said it before on here but I'm happy to repeat it.

The mother has only a few short years in which she can so utterly dictate what happens to, for, and with her son's life. He is already six years old and has good memories of his father even if (heaven forbid) his mother should snatch him and run to the other end of the country, denying all contact.

One day, he's going to be 13 or 14 and will rebel. At that age, he may well be big enough and smart enough to find out where his father is, and get on a train in order to turn up on your doorstep.

On the day her son defies her and insists that he won't come home, that he wants to live with his father, and is demanding to be taken before the Judge to tell him so, what's she gonna do?

Grit your teeth, play fair, abide by the law and just wait. I promise you, your day will come.

I totally agree ... play fair, play by the rules & when he turns up on your doorstep refusing to go back to his mother welcome him with open arms.

I fought my ex for 7 years (different circumstances) and just before we were about to win a 'supervised only' contact order he changed his mind and said he didn't want to see my dd but she could contact him when she was older is she wanted to. My dd is now 13 and although she doesn't know the nitty gritty behind our divorce (she's not old enough I don't think) she's of the opinion that if he couldnt be bothered she doesn't want to. She's also got over lots of stuff she saw/heard that kids shouldn't.

Think what i'm trying to say is kids are resiliant & you just need to be there when he needs you, cos he will.

Glad you collected him ok, have a lovely weekend
Lou x

top_drawer_2

jackieglasgow wrote: »

I think it's against the law to record a conversation without advising the second person that you are doing so, and wouldn't be admissable. I'm sure someone with official legal knowledge will be able to put this in the correct terms. Which is a shame, as it's a good idea.

a solicitor once told me that although they couldnt refer to it as evidence, there was ways around it .... like mentioning it indirectly. Not 100% tho.

daska

Do you have good reason to believe she is using drugs? If you can provide any evidence then your solicitor should request that the court order a hair strand test. (Might even be cheaper in the long run to look into ways of getting the evidence to support applying for the order and going for residence.)

kazza1000

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I just adore RAS's idea of the child divorcing his mother.

Unfortunately, I'm a confirmed technophobe, but is there a kind soul on here willing to tell me, or direct me to instructions, how to do quotes please?

The concept is just too delicious not to be used again elsewhere.

OP - hope that all of you have a peaceful, enjoyable and utterly normal weekend.

thanks paddys mum. Yes, we rae having a normal hectic weekend now - boys have all been out to bb. My OH son loved this as usual. He's all tucked up i bed now as are the rest of them so we are just about to sit down and put our feet up.

Oldest has a 7am start in the morning for a rugby match (100 miles away!) so early night all round.

Again, thank you so much to everyone for all the support.

Will keep you udated. Kazza

chloe99_2

Hi there - just wondered if you have asked ss to add her latest madness (accusations of violence aginst child by your oh) to their records? If you dont do this then I would just have a small concern that they could mistakenly put HER claims to the top of the pile whilst putting yours to the bottom - which given the current status of child protection etc, could turn out really badly for your oh.