Help! Oh childs mum continually breaking contact order + emotional abuse

kazza1000

paddy's_mum wrote: »

So ... give me a minute, let me work this out ... he regularly assaults his son but she is willing to let the boy go today so long as 'something-or-other'? And she must have found this out only today - or otherwise all the other contacts would not have been acceptable to her. If, on the other hand, she knew of this before, why hasn't she called in the Police or other protective services? Does she realise what ammunition she has just handed you with these accusations? I can just hear the witness responses ...

Magistrate; How long had you known of these assaults?

Mother; For several months.

Magistrate; So naturally you stopped all unsupervised contact?

Mother; No - I let my boy go to his father's home quite often.

Magistrate; Weren't you worried about the welfare and safety of your son, as well as that of the other children in the father's home?

Mother; Well, I was a bit but I didn't want to waste my membership of the local nightclub ...




Kazza - you're dealing with a semi-nutter I fear. Perhaps you should consider what I said earlier about hiring a hitman

Poor little boy - whatever did he do to deserve punishment like this?

Thank you padys mum -- that really made me laugh. Isn't it just mad?!
but wait, there's more!!!!!.......

her solicitors letter says that while she "will permit" contact today and although it is obvious to her that the child is frightened of his father and does want to have contact with him she wants immediate written confirmation that " her son will no longer receice any physical punishment while in the care of his father or she will immediately stop all future contact"

I think maybe her solicitor is just as much a head case for even agreeing to write this garbage.

Is there a listing for "hitmen" in the Yellow Pages.

Anyway, we've both been having a bit of a laugh about the whole thing and will trry not to take it too seriously! Also my OH is looking much less strained now that the child is safely here without any further drama while he was being picked up and we can now get on with our weekend. My noisy boys will be in from school soon and the weekend mayhem can begin!!!

neneromanova

So what happens if you refuse to give the child back tonight?

kazza1000

neneromanova wrote: »

So what happens if you refuse to give the child back tonight?

He isn't due to go back until 6pm on Sunday. My OH contaact is for 3 eekends out of four from 2.15 on Fri til 6pm on Sunday.

We wouldn't consider going down the oute of not retunrning him tho as it would probably only cause more trouble for my OH in the lon run.

kazza1000

Also. a big big thank you to everyone for their support and advice today. (and especialy Paddy's Mum for making me laugh at the ridiculousness of it all :rotfl:).

It has really been helpful to be able to write this all down and so get it off my chest. No doubt there's loads more to come and will keep you all updated.

RAS

kazza1000 wrote: »

I think maybe her solicitor is just as much a head case for even agreeing to write this garbage.

Maybe her solicitor secretly agrees with you and is quite happy to give her enough rope to hang herself?

neneromanova

kazza1000 wrote: »

He isn't due to go back until 6pm on Sunday. My OH contaact is for 3 eekends out of four from 2.15 on Fri til 6pm on Sunday.

We wouldn't consider going down the oute of not retunrning him tho as it would probably only cause more trouble for my OH in the lon run.

But what could she do? He has as much right to him staying at his as she has her son at hers. You could say that as SS are not looking into the matter and she is doing drugs, falsely claiming IS which is fradulent and never looks after him when she does have him then you are keeping him in your care. If SS have a problem with it, get thie @rses into gear and get it sorted as you are worried whe will end up dead or on drugs or something like that

kazza1000

neneromanova wrote: »

But what could she do? He has as much right to him staying at his as she has her son at hers. You could say that as SS are not looking into the matter and she is doing drugs, falsely claiming IS which is fradulent and never looks after him when she does have him then you are keeping him in your care. If SS have a problem with it, get thie @rses into gear and get it sorted as you are worried whe will end up dead or on drugs or something like that

Hi. I so understand what you're saying but unfortunately it wouldn't work like that - because the mum has the residence order she can report the child as having been kidnapped by my OH if he is not returned at the correct time and have the police come to resue him!! Any concerns my OH have about his welfare would be irrelevant unless there is an immediate and obvious threat to him, which there isn't. SS do not view either breaking a contact order or the emotional abuse as a priority or a sufficient reason for my OH to decide not to return the child to his mother.

With regard to the benefit fraud neither the social workers nor the court will factor this into any decisions made as it is not a factor relating to the childs welfare. She can evn admit to benefit fraud to these peolpe and it will not be relevant.

We have had SS investigate the drug issues before but they could not find any evidence and we really didn't expect that they would. However, us reporting it to SS in the 1st place has had a good effect in that she now significanly curtails these activities and seems to have caught herself on a bit with regard to this from what we can tell (or else she has just got much better at hiding it). In any case we do not want to start throwing about false allegations as she does as it will not help in the long run.

Maybe she will just do this often enough that SS will eventually catch on. They probably have already but are unable to do much about it - in fact 2 different social workers and a mediator have all sugeested to OH that in the interests of peace and quiet it might be an idea for him simply to see his son as and when the mother says he can and on her terms ie spending 5 hours in the leisure centre with him or something equally as ridiculous!!

paddy's_mum

I've said it before on here but I'm happy to repeat it.

The mother has only a few short years in which she can so utterly dictate what happens to, for, and with her son's life. He is already six years old and has good memories of his father even if (heaven forbid) his mother should snatch him and run to the other end of the country, denying all contact.

One day, he's going to be 13 or 14 and will rebel. At that age, he may well be big enough and smart enough to find out where his father is, and get on a train in order to turn up on your doorstep.

On the day her son defies her and insists that he won't come home, that he wants to live with his father, and is demanding to be taken before the Judge to tell him so, what's she gonna do?

Grit your teeth, play fair, abide by the law and just wait. I promise you, your day will come.

RAS

Too true. Actually he may well end up "divorcing" this woman before he is a teenager.

paddy's_mum

I just adore RAS's idea of the child divorcing his mother.

Unfortunately, I'm a confirmed technophobe, but is there a kind soul on here willing to tell me, or direct me to instructions, how to do quotes please?

The concept is just too delicious not to be used again elsewhere.

OP - hope that all of you have a peaceful, enjoyable and utterly normal weekend.