Miscarriage support

fran-o

Best wishes to everyone. I just read this article and it really struck a chord with me so I thought I'd share: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/aidan-donnelley-rowley/miscarriage_b_1967351.html
Hugs x

MoneySavingMamma

fran-o wrote: »

Best wishes to everyone. I just read this article and it really struck a chord with me so I thought I'd share: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/aidan-donnelley-rowley/miscarriage_b_1967351.html
Hugs x

Thanks Fran-O, just read the article. The pain can never be forgotten, but we can hide it well. X

MoneySavingMamma

Not that we have to, I hope it didn't come across as it's something to hide!
I mean we do an amazing job of hiding our pain from others, and coping with life leaving it behind with many unaware.

I have only shared my experiences in detail when I've become aware of someone having a mc, then I've tried to use my stories to help them.

samtoby

So glad AF is back PLMBL xx :j

Supersel

Hi All,

I had a miscarriage in May at 8weeks. It was my first and only pregnancy at 30. we had only been TTC a couple of months and I was shocked it was so quick having been on one form of contraception or another since I was 15 due to irregular painful periods.

I bled alot and was given a scan that showed nothing there. I think for me this was the toughest blow they called it a chemical pregnancy. So in my head I'm constantly beating myself up for ever believing something so magical was real. I've felt pretty numb ever since despite moving into our first house (we brought in July), getting engaged last month and booking our wedding for 1st march 2014.

My OH is incredible and does his best but I feel empty alot. I resent my friends sometimes. I work very hard and always have so does my H2B. My best friend since childhood has 6 children in a tiny house (four boys in one room) she doesn't work nor does her partner. all six pregnancies were easy, she gave birth days after I lost mine and she even had an abortion. it hurts like hell even going round their still makes me feel crap.

I feel like a failure. my cycle is slowly getting back to normal but I'm run down and health problems get in the way (boils after my period)

I'm still pretty angry at the world and wonder if the rest of you have any experience with chemical pregnancies??

This was made worse last week by the local heath visitor calling me and writing to me (at an address I've only lived in since I miscarried) to invite me to a new mum's to be group.........:mad:

reading your stories has already made me feel less alone. A big part of me wonders if I've left it to late I will be 31 in two weeks.

Sel

BadlyWrittenPoem

Supersel wrote: »

Hi All,

I had a miscarriage in May at 8weeks. It was my first and only pregnancy at 30. we had only been TTC a couple of months and I was shocked it was so quick having been on one form of contraception or another since I was 15 due to irregular painful periods.

I bled alot and was given a scan that showed nothing there. I think for me this was the toughest blow they called it a chemical pregnancy. So in my head I'm constantly beating myself up for ever believing something so magical was real. I've felt pretty numb ever since despite moving into our first house (we brought in July), getting engaged last month and booking our wedding for 1st march 2014.

My OH is incredible and does his best but I feel empty alot. I resent my friends sometimes. I work very hard and always have so does my H2B. My best friend since childhood has 6 children in a tiny house (four boys in one room) she doesn't work nor does her partner. all six pregnancies were easy, she gave birth days after I lost mine and she even had an abortion. it hurts like hell even going round their still makes me feel crap.

I feel like a failure. my cycle is slowly getting back to normal but I'm run down and health problems get in the way (boils after my period)

I'm still pretty angry at the world and wonder if the rest of you have any experience with chemical pregnancies??

This was made worse last week by the local heath visitor calling me and writing to me (at an address I've only lived in since I miscarried) to invite me to a new mum's to be group.........:mad:

reading your stories has already made me feel less alone. A big part of me wonders if I've left it to late I will be 31 in two weeks.

Sel

A chemical pregnancy is still a real and valid pregnancy - it just means that it didn't get far enough to be detectable by a scan (which would make it a "clinical" pregnancy) so was only detectable by a pregnancy test i.e. chemically. I had one pregnancy which ended very early and I actually found it harder in some ways than my slightly later miscarriage.

I don't think this means you've left it too late - I three pregnancies which ended at different stages when I was 30/31 but went on to have a baby after that and am currently five months pregnant with everything seeming to be fine so far.

Lara44

Hi Sel

So sorry to hear about your loss. I too miscarried my first pregnancy at 7 weeks in July. Although I knew it was a possibility I felt so shocked and devastated that it had happened to us. I beat myself up about everything including feeling such despair and anger. All I can say is honestly, this is a really big deal and you should really cut yourself a lot of slack. You were not wrong to get excited and hopeful, and you were not responsible. You are a good person, even if you sometimes feel jealous and upset. That is completely normal.

I'm also 31 and had the same worries about age. We tried again and I managed to fall pregnant in September. I'm 8 weeks now and so glad to see the back of the 7 week milestone. There are no guarantees in life, but please don't think you won't get another chance. If you fell pregnant quickly naturally the chances are very good for you to do so again. Also 31 is not too young, you have years and years before worrying yet.

I also got loads of bugs after the mc and it really does bring you down. You're still feeling under a raincloud but that will gradually ease. Take it easy on yourself and recognise you're not yet up to par. It's okay to wrap up in cotton wool sometimes. I really hope you feel better soon. It sounds like you have lots to look forward to and I hope that those things feel more exciting soon. Huge congratulations on your engagement and I can guarantee wedding planning will be a very joyful distraction!

Supersel

Thanks for your kind replies I feel I bit brighter today. The kind words help. I hope things are going well with your pregnancy Lara44.

Sel x

faithhope

Fran - re your article link, it's so true how common mc is and it doesn't get talked about much.

Supersel - yes, don't leave it too late! You've only got about another 10 years ( I'm 41 and 25 weeks pregnant )

Being pregnant doesn't wave a wand and take away the pain of mc but it does give a lot of joy and happiness and it's lovely to see how many on this thread are pg again. ( I know not everyone and some have a more difficult journey than others so huge hugs)

I've had 4 mcs, one was chemical and the mw taking my history this time said, So if you hadn't done a test you wouldn't even have known you were pg? as tho it was nothing and this was after I had to explain to her what a chemical pg was!! :cool:

BadlyWrittenPoem

faithhope wrote: »

I've had 4 mcs, one was chemical and the mw taking my history this time said, So if you hadn't done a test you wouldn't even have known you were pg? as tho it was nothing and this was after I had to explain to her what a chemical pg was!! :cool:

I don't understand why that was a relevant question for her to ask as whether you would have known without a test has no bearing on the validity of the pregnancy.

(Also, you may be happy with her aside from that but if you aren't, you can change MW if you want to and you don't have to give a reason. I did in my last pregnancy for a number of reasons including having to explain expectant management of a late MMC to her.)