Miscarriage support

claire16c

BadlyWrittenPoem wrote: »

Thanks for thinking of me. I am actually incredibly lucky to be pregnant for the second time since my last loss (which was at 21 weeks). I'm finding it absolutely terrifiying (for various reasons more so than the first) and I still want my other babies back so things aren't easy at the moment but I'm trying to be as positive as I can and tell myself that there's no reason for everything not to be okay. I've also just started counselling which in reality I knew over two years ago I needed and had just been putting it off/been in denial that I needed it so I am hoping that that will help me to deal with things better than I feel I have done so far.

I hope everything goes ok for you this time!

I sometimes think I should get some. I was in tears yesterday at my midwife appt telling her not to listen to the heart beat incase it wasn't there. She reassured me and I changed my mind & let her do it & she found it, but I am so annoyed it's scarred me like this and I can't enjoy this pregnancy it's just all worry & anxiety. I don't think there's been a day gone by since the mc that I haven't thought about it.

So Sam I know how you feel.

Plmbl hope you feel better soon & glad the dr listened x

s0237276

Hi,
Bit of background....came off the pill at the end of August and fell pregnant on my first cycle. Tuesday I had a mc at about 6 weeks. All feels like a lot to take in at the moment...had only just got over the idea of ttc then getting pregnant then this.... Did you all try again straight away or did you wait a bit? The midwife said that often after a mc ppl are more fertile.
Any advice on how to stay positive?

sweaty_betty

s0237276 wrote: »

Hi,
Bit of background....came off the pill at the end of August and fell pregnant on my first cycle. Tuesday I had a mc at about 6 weeks. All feels like a lot to take in at the moment...had only just got over the idea of ttc then getting pregnant then this.... Did you all try again straight away or did you wait a bit? The midwife said that often after a mc ppl are more fertile.
Any advice on how to stay positive?

Welcome (if that's the right word) and so sorry.

I believe after a first trimester miscarriage it's generally OK to try again straight away (that's what I've been told anyway). I know a few people who've become pregnant again on their first cycle, although my hormones were all over the place and I didn't become pregnant until about 3-4 months afterwards.

It's really up to you and how you feel about trying again and when. When I miscarriage at 5-6 weeks I'd got my head around being pregnant and wanted to "put things right" by getting pregnant again. Other people need time to deal with it before they try again.

In terms of feeling positive, it's very individual. I set myself deadlines, planned plenty of activities, if I'd not become pregnant within 6 months I would go and see my GP, etc.

Sorry you find yourself here.

rosie_78

Had an awkward few days. Sorry for not being on long enough to manage a message.

Bf saw my messages on Sunday night. I took my sleeping tablets to knock myself out so he had a fair amount of time.

I'd been messaging Samaritans. Talking about my bag of clothes and passport etc that I hid in my car. Talking about some rather embarrassing things that I don't know if I'm allowed to put on here. He saw it all.

He read them telling me that he's dangerous.

Well... On Monday.. He cried. It was surreal

Also still no AF
Miscarriage end of Aug, operation on 4th sept. I know that's still early but it's getting to me

Had blood tests on Tuesday that was negative

I'll come back tomorrow to read properly
Sorry xx

Hope you're all ok cx

msb5262

Rosie - thanks for coming back, we were worried about you. I am a bit confused about what's happening with you and your BF though; does he realise that his behaviour has been very controlling?

claire16c

Rosie if you're saying your boyfriend cried when he found out you were planning on a possible escape that's normal for abusive men to do stuff like that. It's like a nasty then nice cycle they create.

Please be careful about whathe can see - was he checking your phone?! Can you put a number pass code on it?

BadlyWrittenPoem

s0237276 wrote: »

Hi,
Bit of background....came off the pill at the end of August and fell pregnant on my first cycle. Tuesday I had a mc at about 6 weeks. All feels like a lot to take in at the moment...had only just got over the idea of ttc then getting pregnant then this.... Did you all try again straight away or did you wait a bit? The midwife said that often after a mc ppl are more fertile.
Any advice on how to stay positive?

We tried again straight away after my first two (both early miscarriages). For me it felt like if we waited then they would have a bigger effect because it would add to the delay on having our next child caused by miscarrying and increase the age gap between our first and second (which was already longer than we wanted for another reason). I've known some people say that they preferred to wait until after their due date so that the next pregnancy didn't overlap with the one they lost - I think it's down to the individual and what is best varies depending on you andyour circumstances.

The first time, I viewed it as a one off event that didn't "mean" anything in terms of something being wrong and statistically having had one miscarriage makes very little difference to the likelyhood of the next pregnancy being successful so those things helped me to stay positive.

tea_lover

After our m/c I was desperate to try again, desperate. I wanted to be pg again so badly. It's more complicated for us in that we'd had IVF (after 4+ yrs of trying without success) so it was extremely unlikely that I would get pg again anyway. But if I'd been able to I'd have been trying as soon as I possibly could.

It's 6 months today since we got our positive result The chances of it ever happening again feel very remote right now.

sweaty_betty

Hello there - feeling a bit low today. Found out some friends of ours are expecting twins, really happy for them and they phoned us directly to let us know, given us losing ours fairly recently, which was very good of them. Then after the conversation OH said "that's great, they can have our double pram" which upset me as I'm really not ready to make that kind of decision (I suppose in the back of my ins I'm thinking that there's always the chance we'll have twins again, although obviously it's remote). Then I've just had to tell someone else about losing the boys as we've not been in touch for a while and she didnt know. So everything is feeling a bit raw.

Thank goodness we're going away for the weekend!

msb5262

Hey Betty, I'm not surprised you're feeling raw. Some days things just keep piling up...hope you have a good weekend.
MsB xx