Miscarriage support

claire16c

I'm 16 weeks, I've got a midwife apt on weds and they listen to the heart beat and I'm in two minds about telling her not to try because I'm already petrified of them not finding it.

Are you tracking ov? My AF I think took 7 weeks after the erpc. But I knew when I'd ov so I knew when it was coming. I was surprised really I'd had longer cycles than that before! 9 weeks does seem rather long though maybe they can give you the tablets to bring it on?

BadlyWrittenPoem

rosie_78 wrote: »

I told him that bf has forced himself on me a few times now but I wasn't too expressive about it. I don't want to/ cant say it out loud easy so write a lot of things down.

Rosie, it really is not okay that he has done that. Some of the things you have said before have been concerning but while not great were within the bounds of what could be understandable. This is not - he should never ever be doing that to you and it is entirely wrong for him to do so. I'm sorry to express myself so strongly but there is never any excuse for him to do that. If you intend to stay with him (and I really hope for your sake you don't), he needs to be clear that that kind of behaviour is totally unacceptable and should never happen again.

BadlyWrittenPoem

rosie_78 wrote: »

I know it's not right. but I cant cope with more change now. I need to get stable on the new medication.

I know I shouldn't moan about it because i'm effectively letting it happen by not moving out / away. but I just can't now.

sorry xx

Even if you are "choosing" to stay, you are doing so because you feel it is the only option available so you are not letting it happen - it is never your fault and you are right to talk about it.

BadlyWrittenPoem

Has anybody here chosen medical management for a first trimester MMC? I have a friend who has and it's happening next week and as I haven't experienced that I was wondering what might be good ways of being supportive?

please-let-me-be-lucky

BadlyWrittenPoem wrote: »

Has anybody here chosen medical management for a first trimester MMC? I have a friend who has and it's happening next week and as I haven't experienced that I was wondering what might be good ways of being supportive?

Hi BWP, I've experienced it twice.

The first time, with my 2nd mc, I opted for it because I didn't want an ERPC. Truth be told I was scared of being put to sleep . I had tried to miscarry naturally for a few weeks but it hadn't happened so I opted for medical management. I had to go in first thing and take some tablets to soften the cervix and make my womb contract. It was then a lot of waiting around/walks to the cafe etc and it didn't particularly hurt, just usual period type cramps. Without being too graphic, every time I went to the loo a nurse checked what was passed but by the end of the day I had only passed blood clots not 'product' so I ended up with an ERPC a few weeks later.

Last time, when I lost the twins I was all set in my mind for an ERPC as the medical management 'didn't work', but because of complications with the ERPC last time they wanted to avoid it and recommended medical management again. What I didn't know the first time was that they only give you a low dose medication if it was an earlier pregnancy (my 2nd loss was at 8 weeks but baby stopped growing at 6weeks). This time I had lost twins at 12 weeks and they gave me a big dose of medication. I'm not gonna lie it hurt a lot more, I lost a lot of blood, fainted and ended up admitted to hospital on a drip for 3 days!!! On balance though this was still better than the ERPC I had and would opt for medical management again in the same situation (though obviously I hope to never need another).

In terms of practical help and support you can give your friend I'd say books/magazines/chocolate for the day in hospital. She will need to take lots of changes of clothes just incase, make sure she knows that.

I'm sorry that she is going through it but she's lucky to have a friend like you Xx

please-let-me-be-lucky

claire16c wrote: »

I'm 16 weeks, I've got a midwife apt on weds and they listen to the heart beat and I'm in two minds about telling her not to try because I'm already petrified of them not finding it.

Are you tracking ov? My AF I think took 7 weeks after the erpc. But I knew when I'd ov so I knew when it was coming. I was surprised really I'd had longer cycles than that before! 9 weeks does seem rather long though maybe they can give you the tablets to bring it on?

Congratulations on 16 weeks!! Hopefully the midwife will take extra care to find the heartbeat. It's amazing to hear so I hope you get that experience. Sounds like a train if it's a boy and a horse galloping if it's a girl

I thought I had signs of ov a couple of weeks after mc but nothing since then. I have never tracked ov as it's normally very visual for me in terms of cm. I understand 9 weeks is hardly a lifetime but for someone who has always had 28-day-like-clockwork cycles, then 60 days seems a tad long Xx

claire16c

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Congratulations on 16 weeks!! Hopefully the midwife will take extra care to find the heartbeat. It's amazing to hear so I hope you get that experience. Sounds like a train if it's a boy and a horse galloping if it's a girl

I thought I had signs of ov a couple of weeks after mc but nothing since then. I have never tracked ov as it's normally very visual for me in terms of cm. I understand 9 weeks is hardly a lifetime but for someone who has always had 28-day-like-clockwork cycles, then 60 days seems a tad long Xx

I can imagine, I have wacky cycles so getting AF after 7 weeks was amazing to me as they said expect 6-8 & I thought hmm I bet for me it will be way longer!

It's funny you're the second person to say that & I'd never heard that until 2 weeks ago! We heard it at a private early scan and sounded just like galloping!

Badly written poem I had an erpc but lots of ladies on here have had the medical so as well as PLMBL post I'm sure other ladies will share their experience too.

My hospital didn't offer it for some reason it was do it at home or have an erpc.

Jox

I still read this thread because I had a mc last August and was given a lot of comfort and support here last year.
I'm sorry for what you are all going through.
I was lucky and fell pregnant 9 months later, but am still in fear that this pregnancy won't last, I guess negative, fearful thinking doesn't help anything either way...
Rosie, whenever I read what you've written about your OH the alarm bells ring, but what you just said sent chills down me....I'm so sorry you are in this situation....

rosie_78

feeling really low tonight. not sure why. nothing really to bring it on. just flat.

I was in a bit of a bd way earlier and started texting the Samaritans. It did help a little.

ive written a letter to him. I doubt i'll give it to him but it explains how this spiral of depression is caused by him and his actions. its not me.

I cant focus to read all the messages properly but i'll reply tomorrow xx

ttc39

Hi all
Back from my visit to mates in Romford , had such a good time. Out for curry last night, very garlicky now though lol

Rosie, how are you today? I know your oh was due back today I think?

I agree with the others that if u are being raped this is not acceptable but I wasn't sure if it was that you just didn't feel like it and he kept initiating it?

I don't think he sounds great for you in any account though but I do understand that at the moment you feel u have too much on to deal with it.

I was once in a abusive relationship and it took me a while to get out of it, and like you I tried to convince myself that he was not in the wrong.

But life was so much better without him! We are all here for u Hun xxx

PLMBL - what's your weekend been like?

Hope everyone else is ok too xx