Miscarriage support

rosie_78

ttc39 wrote: »

Rosie I've felt bad while at work today, I really had no right to ask you that question

you've got nothing to apologise for. xx xx I've been so busy with work 12hr days and accessing this on phone is really hard.i can manage to log on but that's about it lol !! I do want to be with him. I know you all probably think that's stupid but I do love him

he's not like my ex was (cause of a miscarriage due to him kicking me) and he can be really nice. he's a lazy git though too at times unless I flip like I did last night.

He's asked me to see doc next week when ive got time off to get something else checkd out (got a lump on boob) and he said he wants to come to psych appointment with me ... not sure on how keen I am on that as there is a lot I cant say in front of him. but we will see

I hope everyone is ok?

BadlyWrittenPoem

Air_Cooled_75 wrote: »

Thanks bwp, good ideas there. It's been 3 months since I had the mc (at 21 weeks) so I've been a little 'angry' lately about the lack of contact from the hospital.

I don't want to make them formal, the back story is my waters broke at 18 weeks and it took 3 visits to the hospital (gastroenteritis apparently, then thrush, they didn't even take the bleeding seriously the third time I went in at first). I don't actually feel as though I want to get pregnant again as I can't go through that again.

My big concern is that they didn't even test the placenta, I know it could be that they wouldn't find anything but I'm wondering 'why the big delay' and waste our time.

I can understand you being angry and not wanting to go through that again. If it helps, I lost a baby at 21 weeks (no obvious cause although it turned out that she had been small for dates/development at a very early scan so I presume that there was something wrong from the beginning) and when I was pregnant again I was seen on the foetal monitoring list by a consultant. I've also had consultant care previously and it was completely different and felt much more personal and caring. At my postnatal follow up appointment (mine was also at three months after I chased it up instead of the 6-8 weeks I was told!) the consultant ran through the kinds of things I would be offered in a future pregnancy and both then and when I was seen when I was actually pregnant I was told that if I wanted I could go in for weekly monitoring. If there are any potential preventative measures they can take then they should also run through them with you and if not then they should run through what they would do if your waters did break very early again. Not sure whether any of that is helpful but thought I'd share in case it is.

sweaty_betty

air cooled - would it help to write down everything you're feeling, everything that's happened and why you're so disappointed/frustrated with their care? You could then take it in with you and it would prompt you to ask the questions if you felt it was right.

Our situation was different, but I went into the meeting with a list of questions but didn't need most of them in the end as the consultant answered them before I'd even asked. A few times he said that (for example) they hadn't felt the need to scan my cervix for weakening as there had been no indication there was a problem, however in any subsequent pregnancies they would not only scan me but also put a stitch in for my peace of mind.

I think you're well within your rights to ask these questions, both for you and to let them know that they may need to change their processes/attitudes towards the concerns of pregnant women. At my sands group yesterday there were a number of people who were upset over their care or the attitude of the staff towards them and I think it's always worth feeding this back to the hospital, for their own future pregnancies and for other people who might be in a similar situation.

Really hope you get some answers or some form of closure.

samtoby

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Rosie - hope the bleeding has stopped.

PLMBL- Hope you have either AF or a BFP!

tt39- hope you are getting on ok, are you trying again now?

Sweaty betty - You have such a way with words I could not have said the above post any better.

BWP and aircooled - I do hope you get some answers. Whether it be about your loss or indeed the future.

AFM - I am feeling very frightened. I have tried everything to get an early scan but I have just been told to wait basically. So that is kind of what I am doing except I am having a scan at 9+ weeks privately - my partner is going to pay for it as he knows how distressed I am. I am trying not to be distressed in case it causes anything bad but I can't help it.

xx

claire16c

rosie_78 wrote: »

you've got nothing to apologise for. xx xx I've been so busy with work 12hr days and accessing this on phone is really hard.i can manage to log on but that's about it lol !! I do want to be with him. I know you all probably think that's stupid but I do love him

he's not like my ex was (cause of a miscarriage due to him kicking me) and he can be really nice. he's a lazy git though too at times unless I flip like I did last night.

He's asked me to see doc next week when ive got time off to get something else checkd out (got a lump on boob) and he said he wants to come to psych appointment with me ... not sure on how keen I am on that as there is a lot I cant say in front of him. but we will see

I hope everyone is ok?

Somebody not hitting you & sometimes being nice doesn't necessarily make them a worthwhile person to be with.

If you don't want him to come with you then just say so? If he reacts badly then you know there's a problem.

Definitely see the dr about the lump hopefully it's just post pregnancy hormones. X

claire16c

Sam the same thing happened to me they said I could have an early scan but in reality it didn't happen so we paid for a private one at 9 weeks.

BadlyWrittenPoem

samtoby wrote: »

BWP and aircooled - I do hope you get some answers. Whether it be about your loss or indeed the future.

Thank you - tests didn't show any obvious reason for our loss (apparently this is the case about half the time) but I've since gone on to have a healthy baby.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Hi all,

Aircooled I hope your appointment goes as well as it can. It must have been very traumatic for you and BWP has some experienced words of wisdom. I hope they help.

Rosie I hope the lump is nothing serious. I think you should go to your appointments alone though after what happened at the hospital.

Samtoby I'm pleased you are getting a scan, but such a shame that you have to go private.

AFM, still no AF!!!! Haven't tested again since Monday Xx

samtoby

BWP - Its good to hear you went on to have a healthy baby. Still doesn't take away the hurt though of the baby you lost I imagine.

PLMBL- when will you test again?

Rosie - never stops for you does it hope lump is nothing to be concerned about.

Thanks Claire - wondered if it is just something they said to make me feel better at the time because now all I worry about is this time going to be ok ....... then I say to myself It WILL be ok. Positive thinking.

xx

ttc39

Hi all,

Yes hubbie and I are trying again.. Just hope it doesn't take too long as age is against me :-(

PLMBL , oh my god , you must test again? Do you have another test?

Samtoby, sounds completely natural how you are feeling Hun, just keep positive - we all I'm sure have fingers crossed for you xx

Lara - how are you doing?

Rosie - really hope lump nothing to worry about and you are keeping ok xxx

Afm, well glad the weekend is here, had a customer visit this morning so had to be in work for 8am , which is unheard of for me! So now at home, on here but really need to strip 3 beds lol

Feeling optimistic, Sam got lucky again and it may be that PLMBL has too so maybe I might soon.... Xx