Miscarriage support

claire16c

I hope your DH is at home with you you sound understandably exhausted x

sweaty_betty

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Thank you all, I just feel so useless. Just climbed the stairs to the bathroom which felt like Mt Everest, lost another bloodclot while up there (sorry TMI), and had to come down the stairs on my bottom as I felt so weak. Crying again now. Haven't washed my hair since Sunday and I normally do it every day. Feel disgusting but don't have the energy to do anything about it.

I remember this feeling. It's all so hard, dealing with the emotions about the loss of babies, the physical side (I know I felt like I'd been hit by a bus) and the feeling like you need a good wash but don't have the energy to do anything.

Give yourself time - don't rush into anything - and try to do something that (under usual circumstances) makes you feel better - be it eating chocolate, watching trashy films/TV, sleeping. I found that (while I had horrible oily hair) if I tied it back and put a face mask on or something I felt slightly better. None of these things will make feelings go away, but might distract you from real life for a while, which was certainly what I felt I needed.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Thanks all. My DH is looking after me which is extra special because I'm usually his carer (he had a head injury 2 years ago and has memory problems and epilepsy because of it). My next door neighbour offered to have my boys to play this afternoon and believe it or not they are still there. She has fed them and apparently they are playing on the wii with her girls. My youngest is normally in bed at 7.30pm!! Bless her she is trying to tire them out for me so they sleep in tomorrow.

Toooldforthis

Ok can anyone help ..... since miscarriage had AF at 25 (normal length) days then next early at 21 days ... and now am on day 31 and no show :-( test showing negative. ??? Also had headache all week :-( .... any advice x

BadlyWrittenPoem

Toooldforthis wrote: »

Ok can anyone help ..... since miscarriage had AF at 25 (normal length) days then next early at 21 days ... and now am on day 31 and no show :-( test showing negative. ??? Also had headache all week :-( .... any advice x

I haven't always had proper cycles between pregnancies but the times I have my cycle has been different from previously regardless of the pregnancy length.

sweaty_betty

Toooldforthis wrote: »

Ok can anyone help ..... since miscarriage had AF at 25 (normal length) days then next early at 21 days ... and now am on day 31 and no show :-( test showing negative. ??? Also had headache all week :-( .... any advice x

Not much advice, except that it can take our bodies a while to get back to normal (although sometimes they can change completely). After my first miscarriage my periods were as before, although I felt pregnant for the two weeks between ovulation and period despite blatantly not being. I went for acupuncture and was told that it sounded like my hormones were still out of balance, a couple of treatments later I was pregnant again.

Maybe worth having a chat with your GP if it goes on much longer, or try alternative means such as acupuncture/reflexology if you buy into that?

samtoby

Really struggling over these last few days. It might sound so silly but I think as I am sitting here waiting for AF that I have really actually lost my baby. I still look at the threads and the people who were around my length in pregnancy have left the 12+ week thread now and here I am back at square one. I still can not quite believe that I am not pregnanct even though I know in my mind!

Book of all faces just makes me worse. Scan pictures, constant status' about pregnancy. It is a like a knife through my heart.

All the rings in my head is when I was sat waiting for my scan in the waiting room; a lady said to me - 'I can not beleive I am here, we didn't plan this and I don't know quite how to feel and be its just such a shock when you don't plan something and it happens'. That ladies scan I bet that was fine; but mine; planned, wanted, saved for and waited until the time was right (i.e home bought, jobs secure ish as they can be) and no it wasn't my time.

Whyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for ranting.

please-let-me-be-lucky

I totally get that Sam, and if it helps, I feel exactly the same.

I had the less than 12 weeks thread in my subscriptions and couldn't help but check how everyone was doing. When I saw each 'scan was fine' post I was genuinely thrilled for them, however totally sorry for myself. I accidently clicked 'unsubscribe' yesterday and I've forced myself not to re-subscribe as it isn't doing me any good to keep reading. When I'm stronger I will check in and see how everyone is doing, but for now I need some selfpreservation.

I'm still absolutely floored and exhausted and can't really get out of bed as I have no energy. The Dr says it will take a couple of weeks to feel better but a couple of months to feel 'normal' as I lost so much blood. Can't help but wonder how long it will take me to feel 'normal' mentally though?!

Toooldforthis, I'm sorry but my cycles were always normal after mc too. Perhaps if still no AF and still BFN after a few more days you should check with GP? Xx

Lara44

I feel the same SamToby. As time goes on I am feeling more upset, not less. I think it is coming to terms with the future that has so abruptly ended. That happens after the coping phase of the mc itself, I guess? All emotions feel really big at the moment, and hard to handle.

Like you, there are a few ironies that have happened recently that have hurt my feelings a lot. You find out who your friends are, and sometimes it is not those people you expect that are supportive. I am just trying to imagine a future where it all works out. Maybe next time it will be easy for us and everything will be smooth. That there are still great joys to come after so much sadness.

Lara44

Cross posted with you PLMBL. Huge hugs to you. I hope you are really resting up and taking the time to heal physically.

I subscribed from the thread too. You are absolutely right to put self preservation first.