Miscarriage support

tinkwings

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

Tinks, how are you doing hon?

Stupid question I know..

Trying to keep busy & +.....easier said than done...........One day at a time.

This journey is such a rollercoaster.

Metranil_Vavin

tinkwings wrote: »

Trying to keep busy & +.....easier said than done...........One day at a time.

This journey is such a rollercoaster.

Amen to that

SusanC_2

tinkwings wrote: »

So Sadly I am here again for the 3rd time. :-(
On friday I misscarried our 9 week old baby it was my most traumatic miscarriage yet as I hemorrhagaged for over 9 hours & was rushed into the majors section of A & E and told that it was rare but not uncommom to mis carry in this way.
I am now home again & trying to come to terms with it all.
How do u even begin trying for another baby after that experience......................
I feel totally numb & so very alone .............

:grouphug: I'm so sorry for your loss. Although different from yours, I found my third loss was much harder than the previous ones. There were various reasons that I carried on but they can be summarised as 1. my desire for another child outweighed the desire to avoid the bad things I knew could happen if we tried again, 2. I don't like to change my mind once I have committed to doing something and to stop would have felt like allowing the miscarriages to "win" and 3. giving up would have increased the effect of the miscarriages on my life.

newcook wrote: »

Hello all, I lost my little bean last Thursday at the minute I seem to be in a daze and on autopilot. I also have moments when Ive been with friends and I almost forget what has happened because they are all sat laughing and joking and I’ll subconsciously put my hand on my belly - and then I remember. It’s the same when I wake up in the morning and for a brief moment Im happy, then reality hits me like a sledgehammer.

I'm so sorry for your loss newcook - it's sounds like it has been a big shock for you.

TeamLowe wrote: »

Tinks i don't know if it's possible but i honestly found it incredibly helpful to go away for a weekend after my loss was confirmed (mmc)
we went to a hotel in the middle of nowhere and didn't do much but it was so nice to have the headspace outside of everyday, as you say, get off the bus, so my thoughts could settle down. maybe you and DH could sneak a night away on Friday?
Thinking of you lots x x

I found this helpful too after my third loss. I wouldn't have done it but my husband wanted to and it was a good idea. My only proviso would be don't go somewhere you are likely to go again in the future - we did and it was a mistake as when we next went it reminded me of the previous time we had been there.

Kitten_Pie wrote: »

This friday will be the boys first birthday, it has gone so quickly. We will be going away with the cub and letting off some lanterns. It just really hurts at the moment and OH is also taking it badly. I keep seeing his red eyes where he has been thinking of them. Glad it isn't just me that is hurting but also don't want him to feel like this, wish I could take it all away.

Our friends and family seem to have forgotten them already and now cub is here it is as though everything is now better, it isn't and it never will be.

Sorry for the rant just a really hard week for us here.

It's okay to rant - that's part of what this thread is here for. I will be thinking of you on Friday. I can kind of understand people thinking everything is better now as I know I thought that I would feel better once I had my baby but whilst in some ways another baby has made it easier, in other ways it makes it harder.

newcook wrote: »

hi ladies, just thought I would see how you are all doing.

I keep wondering if Im coping too well - I still have a good cry a couple of times a day and its always there in my mind but Im beginning to get back to 'normal'.

I keep saying to my mom that people must think Im heartless (there are only a few people I will cry in front of) but she thinks its possibly because OH and I wern't trying for a baby and I had so few pregnancy symptoms that its just the way my body is shutting its emotions away (plus the codine the doctor gave seems to make me feel a bit numb). she is also keeping a close eye on me along with the rest who know just in case the emotions all break through at once.

big hugs to you all xx

I don't think people will think you are heartless just because you haven't cried in front of (or at least I hope they don't!) - everyone is different and we all cope and express our grief in different ways.

Courgette wrote: »

Unfortunately things are just getting harder and my mental health is really going downhill. More fertile after mc my arsch.

Have made another GP appointment for tomorrow. I will actually walk out if they even attempt the 'mc are a normal part of pg' line again

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling and that you have received such poor treatment from medical professionals.

Courgette wrote: »

If I were feeling stronger I'd be writing a letter of complaint. Both times straight after having my scans I was told about women who'd had it worse (implication: pull your socks up and stop crying). I wonder whether it's standard practise to tell cancer patients there was always a 1:3 chance of contracting the disease so they should count themselves lucky it's not worse. Sorry if anyone finds that comment offensive.

I've not been following this thread as closely as I used to recently but if you are able to point me to previous posts you've given about your poor care or give me an outline of it, I'd be very willing to give you a draft complaint letter if that would be any help to you.

Courgette wrote: »

Haven't had counselling as I just assumed I'd be able to dust myself down and crack on like I did last time. I also thought after 4 months I'd be pregnant again.

I thought similar - I just find of thought I'd be "better" within a certain amount of time and didn't expect it to be any harder than the first time. And I think your expectations make a huge difference to how you feel so if you thought you would be pregnant and you aren't then it feels worse than if you had expected it to take ages. The longest I took to conceive was after my last loss and I was convinced that something must be wrong with me even though we were still within the "normal" length of time to conceive just because I had expected it to be as quick as all the previous times. I cried every single month I wasn't pregnant because I was convinced my daughter was going to be an only child forever.

newcook

Morning all, cant believe a week has passed already.

I know it sounds a bit odd but I have put my scan picture in a little frame so I can say goodnight to my little angel before I go to bed.
Its also nice to know that I will always have something to look at and talk to rather than just memories xx

tinkwings

newcook wrote: »

Morning all, cant believe a week has passed already.

I know it sounds a bit odd but I have put my scan picture in a little frame so I can say goodnight to my little angel before I go to bed.
Its also nice to know that I will always have something to look at and talk to rather than just memories xx

Morning
I found our scan piccies yesterday. Not sure what to do with them yet. It seems like the longest 6 days of my life........................

tinkwings

tinkwings

newcook

tinkwings wrote: »

Morning
I found our scan piccies yesterday. Not sure what to do with them yet. It seems like the longest 6 days of my life........................

to be honest, I was in 2 minds whether to frame it or not, or whether people would think Im being a bit morbid etc but then I realized that it will be the only picture of me and my first baby I will have.

I know in the future I will have other children and there will be many photos of them and us together but this photo will always be incredibly special - just me and my bean xx

tinkwings

newcook wrote: »

to be honest, I was in 2 minds whether to frame it or not, or whether people would think Im being a bit morbid etc but then I realized that it will be the only picture of me and my first baby I will have.

I know in the future I will have other children and there will be many photos of them and us together but this photo will always be incredibly special - just me and my bean xx

Memories are a good thing we can't change the events in our past they make us who we are today. :A

Nephthys

newcook - i think that's a nice thing. Part of me wishes i had something like that for my two but I can't change the past. S/he was still your baby - no reason why you can't - it's no one else's business what you do with the picture and if it gives you and your OH some comfort then that's what counts!

Tinks - put your pics somewhere safe until you are ready. I'm guessing you've posted up your pictures but i can't see them as I'm at work.

Hugs to you both!