Miscarriage support

Darkshines

pigpen wrote: »

They might want to be there for you too.. and could be hurt to know you have been this sad and not shared with them.. I know it is hard to see it from anyones perspective but your own and I dont mean to upset or offend you just to show you that you could be missing out on their support and love.

Could your partner tell them so you dont have to?

It must be very hard for you both only having each other to rely on and share this with, possibly sharing with close family will give you both somewhere else to turn if you need to.

Its okay you haven't offended me. I do I know I should tell them but I just haven't got the courage to do it. I don't feel ready to. I could try and confide in his Mum because she is less judgmental but she will be really angry at us for not telling her and she is still messed up from her daughter's miscarriage in February. My Mum is really unemotional and quite judgmental and it would kick off at home if I told her.

I have a couple of friends to turn to when I am really upset who have been in the same situation as me but have since had babies. We didn't know I was pregnant until I had the miscarriage in January. I had pregnancy signs but I was also stressed at the time and assumed as I had spotting that it was just stress messing up my cycle. It wasn't and I feel quite guilty for not knowing. I have tried talking to my partner about it and how he feels but he says he isn't upset about it because we didn't know about it. He is really supportive of me but is really unemotional and does not get upset.

I do want to tell them but I will have to think it over because I am scared and I have to talk to my partner about it.

Thank you all for your support

Darkshines

iluvfreebies

Ali - i just can't believe you are here again - I cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling - i know i would never want to go through this more than once and i really feel for you sweetheart - if you need to chat to someone on here please know that you can pm me at any time and i do truly mean that - you will be in my thoughts

Darkshines - my sister has just found out she is expecting - she had a miscarriage herself earlier in the year but felt bad as i only buried my little girl a couple of weeks ago - obviously i dont begrudge her happiness in any way i just cant be delighted for her - im sure in time it will get easier but its all just a little raw for me at the moment - make sure and tell at least your partner how your feeling and look after yourself xx

Darkshines

Thanks I!!!!!!!! I will talk to my partner tomorrow and I will look after myself. I am sorry to here about your little girl make sure you take care of yourself xxxx

Metranil_Vavin

Sorry to hear about your DS's partners mc PP x

Darkshines - don't feel guilty, it is incredibly difficult when you have lost yourself to not feel overwhelmed when someone close to you becomes pregnant.

As PP said though, she has a long way to go too, pregnancy is SO stressful, particularly when you have had a loss.

I didn't relax all the way through my last pregnancy following my mc last year. Everytime I went to the toilet I was praying that all would be well.

Love and hugs to everyone here xxx

ddebski_us

Ali - I am so sorry to hear your sad news.

Thinking of you

xDx

gratefulforhelp_2

portsmouthali wrote: »

So, here I am again

I had all the recurrent miscarriage tests and they came back all clear. I fell pregnant very quickly, and had early scans at 6 & 8 weeks, both with a heartbeat. Went back for a scan today - no heartbeat. I could tell as soon as he started scanning me that there was something wrong as the pregnancy sac was noticably smaller than at the last scan. I'm going in for an ERPC on Monday.

I saw a consultant today who was very nice, and has suggested clexane/heparin injections when (if?) we try again. Not sure how I feel at the moment, after each loss I say "never again" but I always change my mind.

Feel so numb today, I've had no signs that anything was wrong and after seeing the heartbeat thought we'd make it this time. I even had my lunch in my bag, ready to take to work after my scan. As I type this I still actually feel pregnant.

You poor darling, it seems sooo unfair. So sorry to hear your news. x

portsmouthali

Thanks for all your kind words, it really does help

Darkshines, after seeing our families so upset about my first miscarriage, we decided not to tell them about the 2nd one (it's why I started this thread - the lovely ladies on here got me through it) but I did feel bad about keeping it from them, so I know how you feel. They know about all of them now, as I wanted to tell them about the testing we had. It felt at times like I was at the hospital every week, and I felt like they should know that something so big was happening in our lives.

Please don't feel bad because you find it hard to deal with someone being pregnant - it's a horrible feeling which I have felt all too often but it's completely normal. If I could take a tablet to stop that feeling, I would, as it makes me feel like an irrational, nasty, bitter person.

I realise I've just contradicted myself there :rotfl: perhaps I'm not the best person to give advice at the moment

Take care of yourself and please post here if you feel there's no-one you can speak to - there is always someone around xxxx

QQuaver

I'm so sorry Portsmouthali (((hugs))).

thebaileys

So sorry to hear your sad news Ali, hope your consultant can help and you get some answers.

Darkshines, I sadly had a 2nd miscarriage in february. My cousins partner had a baby today, I am happy for them, but feel a little sad too as I would have been due in 4 weeks. Its totally normal to feel upset take care xxx

Darkshines

Guys I can't thank you all enough for the support you guys have given me. I tried to talk to my partner but he didn't say anything apart from okay to when I said I've been struggling being around your sister. He has emotional issues and finds it difficult to show any emotions at all but I know that is just how he is. I was thinking if I feel myself getting emotional around his sister and all the baba talk is it okay if I try and change the conversation?

Darkshines