MSE Parents Club Part 10

csh_2

feelinggood wrote: »

To be honest, I don't understand what help a FF Mum would need - I thought all the instructions were on the tin?

Wasn't aware a tin could tell you what to do when baby won't take a bottle and is loosing weight?

Why is that that you think BF mothers can talk to someone about problems and FF mothers can't?

FF babies can get thrush in the mouth to. If the mother isn't aware of that should the baby suffer because no will speak to the mother as there are instructions on the tin?

aless02

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Weezl - also a point to consider/research; BFing helps physiological 3rd stage and I'm not aware how not BFing straight away affects this...
(I'm guessing it just takes longer though)

not sure if this has been answered, but BFing isn't a big deal. Finn wasn't put to the boob straight away (not sure why, it wasn't intentional - it just happened that way as DH was busy holding him) and my 3rd stage was still fine. I think as it got up to the 30 minute mark (that sounds like ages, but it really only felt like 5 minutes), they told me to tweak my nipples a few times and -bam- out it came with no BFing! :T

feelinggood_2

weezl74 wrote: »

Feelie, I wonder if what I just posted about attachment and language development might in part respond to this? There's nowt about cuddles and skin and turn taking on the tin :)

Thanks for what you said earlier. I know no-one on here judges me :beer:. You aren't militant, you are rightly fervent about a great cause!

Thanks for your post Weezl. I forgot about that aspect, probably because when I was bottle-feeding I researched it, so I did bottle feed in a very breastfed way (skin-to-skin, quiet feeding, small and regular bottles, swapping sides during a feed, pacing a feed etc). I suppose I think about bottle feeding differently to formula feeding, because I bottle fed, but didn't use formula, if that makes sense!

I was talking to my Mum about breastfeeding yesterday, and how funny it is that I'm so militant about breastfeeding. She never said 'Breast is best' or anything like that, but breastfeeding was always the norm - I saw hundreds of women feeding when my Mum was a La Leche Leader. I asked her about me becoming a LLL because of my lack of sympathy and she said she sometimes found it frustrating. She said she tried not to pass on too much pro-breastfeeding attitude to me so I could make my own choices, but even so I'm pretty militant.

I'm also suprised at how much of a pro-breastfeeding and pro attachment parenting person OH has turned into. He is a complete convert!

elle_gee

Morning all..

I'm baby-less! I just woke him up gentle and before he'd even opened his eyes, he was in his car seat.. He's off with Mum for the day while I get some stuff done and go to my training this afternoon.. this morning makes very interesting reading, although I'm still not quite sure what I have to say on the subject *confused*

SugarSpun

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Does anybody have any helpful tips as to what I could send him in with to cheer him up? I have said he can take my kindle with as many books as he wants on it :cool:

Oh, I hope it goes well. I sent OH in with cookies for the nurses, it was a sneaky way of making sure they visited him a lot They required regular topups though.

Also books, his laptop, a lot of DVDs ... and once or twice a sneaky takeaway

got-it-spend-it wrote: »

About a week after I had Henry one of my 'best' friends said something along the lines of 'but at least you didn't actually have to give birth properly....' (because I had an EMCS after labouring for 44 hours). I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but I still remember it!

After 44 hours of labour?! I'd have set her on fire, I think. My 13 was bad enough, I can't imagine that length of time. Well done you.

I didn't know how complex FF was. MM, thanks for making that list, I had no idea at all

SusanC_2

jillie1974 wrote: »

can i just say (and this might be a bit .... controversial) but as a mum who had no choice but to FF i feel that BF is pushed so much that us FF mums dont get any support at all. It was very hard for me to be told i wasnt able to express anymore but i feel that there is nowhere that i can get support for FF. We can have problems as well with feeding... i think as well, knowing that i will have to change my BP meds to pg safe ones, then being able to BF/express for a week or so and then go to FF, i'm really not sure i even want to try the BF next time

This is why I think some of the money spent on hitting everyone over the head with the "breast is best" slogan would be better spent on support and educating prospective parents on the real practical aspects of breastfeeding. I remember the midwife who came on the weekend after Alice was born was wearing the slogan "breast is best" and although I agree with the statement I thought it was very insensitive to be visiting new mothers wearing it when some mothers may have had no choice or may have wanted to BF and not been able to or given up for whatever reason. I'd never thought of FF mothers needing support but now you mention it, there are lots of discussions on here about sterilising, how to make formula, how to do it when out, how much babies should be taking, what bottles/teats to use etc. so clearly it is not always straight forward. Perhaps it is assumed that you would just ask at the regular drop in clinics?

Fitzio wrote: »

From my experience, midwives are not that militant about BFing, but as that is what the current guidelines are, they have to promote it. If you say you want to BF, they will do everything to help you, but if you are up front about wishing to FF, they tend to respect that and give you help if you ask – they just can’t actively promote it. Don’t be scared to tell them what you want. I think you just have to say you have your reasons and wish to FF and not discuss it if you don’t want to, and they will be fine with it.

We gave Alice 2 x 3oz formula on night three when I was really struggling and my midwife (who visited first thing in the morning because we'd phoned up) was really supportive and helped me but when we gave a bottle of 1oz EBM and 2oz formula the following night (because I was so sore I just needed one feed off) the midwife who came (who was the one wearing the slogan) was really funny about it and pretty much made out that 8oz of formula had cancelled out all the benefits of breastfeeding.

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Self-centred rant alert - feel free to skip

:grouphug:

SugarSpun wrote: »

We do the best we can in our own circumstances and so long as we're doing that everyone second guessing us can jog on.

Exactly. And everyone has different cirsumstances which we don't always know about too.

feelinggood_2

SusanC wrote: »

Perhaps it is assumed that you would just ask at the regular drop in clinics?

That is what I meant, I don't have any issues with help being given, I just wouldn't want it to encroach on a breastfeeding support group where women might feel embarrassed or ashamed. I know I'm a lot more comfortable feeding in front of women who are breastfeeding, or have breastfed.

money_maker_3

You having a relaxing morning elle ?? Or doing some major organising ??

got-it-spend-it

SugarSpun wrote: »

Oh, I hope it goes well. I sent OH in with cookies for the nurses, it was a sneaky way of making sure they visited him a lot They required regular topups though.

Also books, his laptop, a lot of DVDs ... and once or twice a sneaky takeaway



After 44 hours of labour?! I'd have set her on fire, I think. My 13 was bad enough, I can't imagine that length of time. Well done you.

I didn't know how complex FF was. MM, thanks for making that list, I had no idea at all

It's fine, her time will come, she hasn't had kids yet. We all think we'll have a breezey, natural birth before it happens to us . Only kidding, I certainly do not wish anything other than said breezey, natural birth on any woman.

Fritha_2

*wanders in from slingy corner*

Next Warrington sling meets are detailed here :-)

I hope you're all doing ok :-)