Sick and Tired of being in Debt!

Knitty78

But why can't you determine the basics? Why does she have to do that for you? Set a budget (I think someone mentioned £70 on here) take that out at the beginning of the month and then when it runs out it runs out. Cut up your cards so you can't use them. By all means discuss it with her, but show you are taking responsibility.

AJLondon

Knitty78 wrote: »

But why can't you determine the basics? Why does she have to do that for you? Set a budget (I think someone mentioned £70 on here) take that out at the beginning of the month and then when it runs out it runs out. Cut up your cards so you can't use them. By all means discuss it with her, but show you are taking responsibility.

I have determined the basics but I don't want any temptation in the next few months to blow money and focus on paying stuff back.. can you not see that?

The responsibility I am taking for myself is to take access away from me.. at the moment its much better this way.... as I have only made things a whole lot worse...

AJLondon

In approx 1 hour from now my OH will be home and reading this thread from start to finish and i can assure you she will be upset and feel let down by now and will ask the question why couldn't I talk to her about it etc...

I feel physically sick and the thought that I have let her and myself down and she may leave me forever...

AJLondon

Sorry for numerous posts but I have to do something.. I have so much going on inside my head with numerous what if's...I am flicking between work and this forum and clock watching.

I am ashamed, angry, feel so guilty and am so sorry for making my finances a mess once again... I want to put things right once and for all which is why I made the first step of getting rid of the overdraft... next step and the biggest step of all is what will happen in the next few hours...

if we can get through it then each step after that will be a small step in the right direction.

My heart is racing right now

Happytogetdebtfree

im giving you a virtual slap, now calm down.... and breath.... this is something you can both work at together it will make you stronger and it will prepare you for a better future... your nipping it in the bud and thats what counts..... fingers crossed... we will all find out tomorrow, or she may post herself, and we will all be here for her too now have a brew x

AJLondon

I wish it was that simple.... all I keep thinking is that the debt I can deal with, but not losing her... she deserves better and I am trying to make a start by putting all my problems in black and white to deal with, and to make a start by being the person she wants me to be and the person i want to be...

I feel ill, faint, my head is spinning and my legs are shaking.. I am so worried about what's going to happen next.. I am half expecting to sleep at work tonight and I wouldn't blame her..

I am truly truly sorry for the mess I am in... I love my OH with everything I am and more and make a promise to her now to make a fresh start and to never ever get into anything like the mess i am in now....

Like you people say, I have (at the moment) a roof over my head and food on the table.. but its not enough if she isn't there with me...

AJLondon

She will read this and think i have said all this before... to that I am saying that this time its so much more different and much more serious... i am deadly serious about all this and wanting to sort myself out as like I have said I have been living in debt my whole adult life, thats why i called this thread "sick and tired of being in debt" but I guess I should of called it, ive made a right mess of everything and i deserve everything I get...

For me opening up on here is a step in the right direction and i am greatful for all of your posts and opinions so far...

Its going to be a long road, but I can get there, I just hope I am still living where i am now and with my OH and not alone

Thrifty_Pixie

Hiya AJ,

Caaaaalm down And thank you for taking all our (rather) harsh replies in the spirit they were meant.

Hopefully your OH is reading through all this right now and I hope, for your sake, she decides to support you through this. I understand that you don't trust yourself with money right now and think that the best way forward is to give her all control of your finances...and maybe that might be a good idea for a few months until you get used to a more frugal existence....but gradually you need to take back the reins and control your debt-busting yourself - with FULL access to your own money. Otherwise you are never going to get any better with money, and she will become right hacked off with doing it all for you I'm not saying that you couldn't sit down once a month and go through your paperwork together to make sure you're not straying, but you need to learn to do this yourself, otherwise the first money or credit you get hold of once your debts are paid will start the cycle again. You need to change the way you think about money to really get out of this mess. I'm sure you understand what I'm saying.

Anyway. I hope this evening goes well. You have done something very brave in facing up to all this, and I have everything crossed for you that you can work through this together.

Keep us posted.

TPx

Triangle

Following this thread with much interest...and wishing you lots and lots of luck

xx

wen3

Hope everything worked out okay last night for you good luck